I've noticed for years, both in the community and on the websites for different systems, that there is a strong trend of talking about the bad seeds of the various personality types as 'unhealthy' individuals. The thing is, the quality of ones mental health has little to do with the quality of ones values. Bad people are not necessarily more likely to be unhealthy, and there is no correlation between a lack of mental health and a lack of ethics or moral integrity.
Regardless of the stress that they are under good people do not stop being good people. They may panic. They may loose their cool. They may get in arguments more readily. They may struggle to see peoples perspectives when they normally would not. But they will not stop respecting other peoples autonomy and independence, nor will they cease to value or prioritize taking care of others, and no matter how much stress they are under they will not intentionally bully other people and will be deeply concerned to discover if any of their actions have made other people uncomfortable or scared (and typically take actions in themselves to prevent themselves from scaring that person again.)
And bad people continue to be bad people even when they are happy, calm, focused, and well-adjusted. Even the most violent and tyrannical abusers often pass all psychological screenings easily because there is nothing psychologically wrong with them. When people are consistently disrespectful to others it is because they don't see those people as people (perhaps because they see them as animals or because they see them as property). When people are controlling, whether in a domineering way or a manipulative way, by playing the victim or the oppressor, it's not because they're crazy, it's because they believe they are entitled to something that they are not being given. And they may be right if they're being deprived things like food or water or sleep, or having their ideas listened to and grappled with in good faith, or basic respect and kindness, life liberty and the pursuit of happiness, etc. But if they are seeking personal gain at the expense of others beyond the basic things everyone has a right to then they're not mentally unhealthy, they're being bad people.
The process by which bad people who are willing to take advantage of others to satisfy their own entitlements become good people who respect others is not a process of becoming sensitive to their own insecurities and maladjustments. It is a process of them recognizing that their actions were wrong, owning up to their morally wrong actions, taking responsibility for the damage they caused, and making amends. It starts with the people around them naming the moral wrongs they are guilty of and refusing to tolerate that behavior or to listen to excuses for it**. Therapy is a wonderful thing that can work miracles for people suffering from legitimate mental health issues like PTSD, Depression, Chronic Anxiety Disorders, etc. But it doesn't help a manipulative person get less manipulative. Therapy makes manipulative people better at it by giving them more tools to use to manipulate other people and better excuses to justify their behavior.
When an ISFP* is telling you your opinion is impractical or unrealistic and thereby shutting you down, putting you in positions where your forced to pay for them constantly while dodging the responsibility of dealing with their own finances, insisting that you need to be okay with an open relationship and your a bad person if you're not, or using the insecurities you shared with them in confidence to punish you for not conforming to their sense of values they're not being an 'unhealthy' ISFP, they're being a shitty person ISFP. And they probably do think that what they're doing is okay. They probably have lots of moral arguments for why it's justified behavior. (Although that's not guaranteed: I've personally done the financial one of those things in the past, knowing it wasn't okay, because it was convenient, I'd mismanaged my money, and nobody held me accountable for doing it. I wish someone had held me accountable for doing it. Getting a grip on that bad behavior would have been easier if someone given me shit for doing it.)
So let's stop referring to examples of types misbehaving as 'unhealthy individuals' and start calling them something else more appropriate like 'abusive individuals', or 'selfish and disrespectful individuals', or whatever (I'm open to suggestions.)
*: I used ISFP because it is my own type and I did not feel comfortable using another type in an example of negative behavior as I did not want anyone to feel attacked or accused and thought that using my own type might help mitigate that. Furthermore, I do not mean to imply that these behaviors are at all typical for an ISFP. I personally have had very good experiences with others of my type.
**: If you are currently dealing with an individual who frightens you, scares you, etc. Then please do not use this post as a guideline for dealing with them! If you feel like you are unsafe around this individual then trust your intuition. Nobody knows your situation better than you. I would urge you to call an abuse shelter to talk about your experiences even if you don't think that your experiences are abuse.
Regardless of the stress that they are under good people do not stop being good people. They may panic. They may loose their cool. They may get in arguments more readily. They may struggle to see peoples perspectives when they normally would not. But they will not stop respecting other peoples autonomy and independence, nor will they cease to value or prioritize taking care of others, and no matter how much stress they are under they will not intentionally bully other people and will be deeply concerned to discover if any of their actions have made other people uncomfortable or scared (and typically take actions in themselves to prevent themselves from scaring that person again.)
And bad people continue to be bad people even when they are happy, calm, focused, and well-adjusted. Even the most violent and tyrannical abusers often pass all psychological screenings easily because there is nothing psychologically wrong with them. When people are consistently disrespectful to others it is because they don't see those people as people (perhaps because they see them as animals or because they see them as property). When people are controlling, whether in a domineering way or a manipulative way, by playing the victim or the oppressor, it's not because they're crazy, it's because they believe they are entitled to something that they are not being given. And they may be right if they're being deprived things like food or water or sleep, or having their ideas listened to and grappled with in good faith, or basic respect and kindness, life liberty and the pursuit of happiness, etc. But if they are seeking personal gain at the expense of others beyond the basic things everyone has a right to then they're not mentally unhealthy, they're being bad people.
The process by which bad people who are willing to take advantage of others to satisfy their own entitlements become good people who respect others is not a process of becoming sensitive to their own insecurities and maladjustments. It is a process of them recognizing that their actions were wrong, owning up to their morally wrong actions, taking responsibility for the damage they caused, and making amends. It starts with the people around them naming the moral wrongs they are guilty of and refusing to tolerate that behavior or to listen to excuses for it**. Therapy is a wonderful thing that can work miracles for people suffering from legitimate mental health issues like PTSD, Depression, Chronic Anxiety Disorders, etc. But it doesn't help a manipulative person get less manipulative. Therapy makes manipulative people better at it by giving them more tools to use to manipulate other people and better excuses to justify their behavior.
When an ISFP* is telling you your opinion is impractical or unrealistic and thereby shutting you down, putting you in positions where your forced to pay for them constantly while dodging the responsibility of dealing with their own finances, insisting that you need to be okay with an open relationship and your a bad person if you're not, or using the insecurities you shared with them in confidence to punish you for not conforming to their sense of values they're not being an 'unhealthy' ISFP, they're being a shitty person ISFP. And they probably do think that what they're doing is okay. They probably have lots of moral arguments for why it's justified behavior. (Although that's not guaranteed: I've personally done the financial one of those things in the past, knowing it wasn't okay, because it was convenient, I'd mismanaged my money, and nobody held me accountable for doing it. I wish someone had held me accountable for doing it. Getting a grip on that bad behavior would have been easier if someone given me shit for doing it.)
So let's stop referring to examples of types misbehaving as 'unhealthy individuals' and start calling them something else more appropriate like 'abusive individuals', or 'selfish and disrespectful individuals', or whatever (I'm open to suggestions.)
*: I used ISFP because it is my own type and I did not feel comfortable using another type in an example of negative behavior as I did not want anyone to feel attacked or accused and thought that using my own type might help mitigate that. Furthermore, I do not mean to imply that these behaviors are at all typical for an ISFP. I personally have had very good experiences with others of my type.
**: If you are currently dealing with an individual who frightens you, scares you, etc. Then please do not use this post as a guideline for dealing with them! If you feel like you are unsafe around this individual then trust your intuition. Nobody knows your situation better than you. I would urge you to call an abuse shelter to talk about your experiences even if you don't think that your experiences are abuse.