"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

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This is a discussion on "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; (Wow, I can'y say "say" in my title... ) Why? I have never in my life understood this. I find ...

  1. #1

    "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

    (Wow, I can'y say "say" in my title... )

    Why?

    I have never in my life understood this. I find it ridiculous that we can lavish someone in compliments, but we are expected to keep our mouths shut if we have a less than sunny opinion. What makes it even worse is that people who say this will turn around and say that there is a certain "balance" or something along those lines... yet you can't balance compliments and insults?

    Now, I'm not justifying being a complete ass, I'm just curious as to how people can see this as being fair.



  2. #2

    Essentially it means to not be a complete ass. Those who do it to censor everything live life in a glass world.

  3. #3

    Nobody can prevent you from giving an honest opinion regarding a touchy issue.

    However, an insult is something different, it has an aim of attacking another person's integrity, and usually means that you are unable to approach or help that person in another, more helpful way. If you aim is not to help, then kindly distance yourself from it, as insults for the sake of releasing the anger or frustration with a person means your inability to deal with it.

    Those unable to take critical opinions from others are a different story. Let them continue living their 'pleasant' life, it's highly unlikely you will manage to wake them up with an insult or two.
    NinjaSwan and Lady K thanked this post.

  4. #4

    When I think of that phrase, I always think of my father. He's a prime example of never having anything good to say at all. I don't think I've ever heard one word of praise out of him to any person. I don't think of this phrase as censoring others' opinions (though I'm sure some people use it as such), to me it's something to say to someone who truly can't be anything but negative in their comments to other people.

  5. #5

    i think people have lost sense of constructive criticism. how to say it, how to except it, and how to use it.
    too many people are overly sensitive, insulting, or in denial these days.
    JesusSuperStars, Kevinaswell and TaylorS thanked this post.

  6. #6

    I prefer to consider this saying as "If you don't have something accurate to say, stfu."
    agokcen, JesusSuperStars, TaylorS and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Kevinaswell View Post
    I prefer to consider this saying as "If you don't have something accurate to say, stfu."
    You should get a reward for this.
    JesusSuperStars and Kevinaswell thanked this post.

  8. #8

    I always figured this phrase was used on people who have nothing but negative things to say about others. People that whinge, gossip or complain constantly. That's how I've seen it used.

    "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

    -translation: "If you have nothing new to add, say nothing"

    agokcen, Miraji, Lady K and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #9

    But people can give the same praise over and over and over, why can't they do the same as far as something negative goes?

  10. #10

    Just say it all: the good, the bad, the neutral. This way, you are not only telling the other one the truth, but also discover your own truth and the fundamental reasons behind it.

    This is the best way to let out the best version of yourself.


     
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