Mothers, What's Your Nurturing Style?

Mothers, What's Your Nurturing Style?

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This is a discussion on Mothers, What's Your Nurturing Style? within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; I have an 8 months old baby nephew. His parents divorced, so he'll spent 2 weeks at my house and ...

  1. #1

    Mothers, What's Your Nurturing Style?

    I have an 8 months old baby nephew. His parents divorced, so he'll spent 2 weeks at my house and 2 weeks at his mom's house, every month.

    My mom is an ESFP, and I notice our differences in nurturing the baby.

    I realize that I don't talk much to him. When it's time to play, I pull out all his toys, teach him how to play with it, and just watch him playing with his toys. I also love to take him doing outdoor activities together, like take him out for a walk. When we meet the neighbors, I will introduce him to them and let them talking to him. I take him around the neighborhood, watching people and the cars in the street, tell him the names of everything we see, singing happy songs, etc.

    So there's a lot of physical activities together, as my way to "bond" with him emotionally.

    My mom is different. She likes to talk to him and playing with him all day in the living room. But she never take him out. There's a lot of emotional connection.

    My mom get panic very easily. There's a time where he accidentally fell off from the bed, and my mom got so panicked and hysterical, she made the baby cried for 1-2 hours.

    When the same thing happened to him while I was around, I quickly took him from the floor, and gently caress him and said: "It's okay, everything is fine."
    He stop crying in less than 30 seconds.

    From the emotional or mood side, he's more expressive when he's with my mom. He laughed a lot, cry a lot. He show lots of emotions in a day, but generally is more cheerful and active. And he becomes very clingy/spoiled with my mom, like he would cry if my mom put him on his baby seat, or he want my mom to carrying him most of the time.

    When he's with me, he gets more calm/quiet. He didn't cry and he didn't talk much. He laughed, but generally his mood is more stable and passive. He's not clingy with me. He also didn't cry or angry when I put him on his baby seat (though he'll cry if he got bored).

    I wonder how far the nurturing style affecting the functions development of a child...

    So mothers, how do you nurture your children?
    What's your nurturing style?
    How far do you think it's affecting their personality?
    Aelthwyn thanked this post.

  2. #2

    I think that may be the TJ part of you on how nurture the baby. I am not a mother but i do baby sit and i would doe almost the same thing as you but i might and learning into it with a game. Teach them young i think so they are ahead of the game and while other kids learn to count to 10,the baby will be learning how to count to 100. but not to much learning just a little bit here and there.

  3. #3

    I'm a mother. My daughter is 18, and my son is almost 11.

    I have a no-BS style parenting approach. I don't baby them, but I'm not cold, either. I don't make a big deal out of things - I am trying to teach my children to be rational, logical human beings. So far, it is working (most of the time). My daughter is ISTJ and my son fits the INFJ child descriptions perfectly. I am doing my best to help them be independent thinkers. I don't solve problems for them; rather, I talk them through figuring things out logically.

    That doesn't mean there aren't emotional moments. I am very supportive, but there is no babying going on over here! lol
    WickedQueen thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I like to think that I have a balanced parenting style. Enough demonstrative love to give them that secure cozy feeling, while allowing them to learn enough life lessons of their own to equip them to handle life on their own in time. I might not let them jump off of the 3rd story roof, but would likely sit back while they test taste tobasco out of the bottle.

    My INTP daughter is a lot less physical than my ENFP son, so the way I am with each tends to be tailored to what works for each. My daughter is not so touchy feely as my son, yet listens keenly to every spoken word. My son, on the other hand, even at age 11, will simply need to take a time out for a reconnect - a hug or an "I love you" and then back to whatever he had been doing.

    It's an ever moving target really. I want to raise adjusted trusting confident human beings who already have a solid basis for making their own decisions about this big bad world. Time will tell, I guess.
    WickedQueen thanked this post.

  5. #5

    As my way of nurturing a child, i always see to it that i can provide my child all the things he need emotionallay, physically and psychologically. And also i will make it sure to provide the best education for him.
    WickedQueen thanked this post.

  6. #6

    I'm kind of tough but adaptable. I don't coddle my kids, but I'm not a drill Sargent at all either -- I'm aware of where they are at, psychologically and maturity-wise, and so I meet them wherever they're at. If I need to challenge them, I challenge them; if they're having a rough time, I give them flex and whatever sort of affirmation they need (intellectual, emotional, physical, whatever).

    The most natural things I give them is (1) the ability to see a range of possibilities, (2) think through things rationally and long-term, (3) take things with a grain of salt and a sense of humor, while still treating them realistically, (4) being considerate of people and even helping people, without being doormats, and (5) figuring out who they are, what they're good and bad at, and what they do and don't like to do. Inspire, equip, affirm, and educate.

    We not only have fun together, but the kids never seem afraid to share anything they are thinking about. That tells me they feel comfortable in their own skin and also with me... which is a good thing to be when they're in their teenage years.

    I have not only affected them, but they affected me. I know I've broadened in some ways just dealing with Mister ESFP, the other two are both INxx's and thus I have an easier connection with them. It has gone both ways.
    WickedQueen thanked this post.


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