Is seeking discussion a sign of being open-minded or need of validation?

Is seeking discussion a sign of being open-minded or need of validation?

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This is a discussion on Is seeking discussion a sign of being open-minded or need of validation? within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; Whenever I have something on my mind, I like to discuss it with someone, but I'm not exactly sure why. ...

  1. #1

    Is seeking discussion a sign of being open-minded or need of validation?

    Whenever I have something on my mind, I like to discuss it with someone, but I'm not exactly sure why. I love hearing people's opinions as it gives me different perspectives that I haven't thought of, which in turn transforms my opinion with added points of view that I agree with. But I noticed as of late when I have a very controversial opinion that gets more negative attention than positive, I'm more eager to delve into a discussion over it--and in my hypothesis based on my feelings, I'm more eager to get into a discussion then because I'm in need of affirmation for my opinion. When I receive such aversion of an opinion of mine I often feel insecure about it compared to if it were to receive none or positive feedback. But with or without criticism, I feel more confident about my opinion if a person I discuss it with also reassures my stance and/or I see more perspectives. Is this a sign of being open minded, or a sign of insecurity/needing validation?
    Gossip Ghoul and nO_d3N1AL thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Seems like you provided your own answers already. It can be either, and perhaps a few other things (arguing for the sake of power, for example), but nobody can tell you what is the truth for you (in a given situation, because you can also have different motivations for the same behavior depending of the circumstances) except yourself.

  3. #3

    It could just be a sign of extroversion.

    I don't think that people who keep their thoughts to themselves are necessarily more secure than someone who needs to share them.

  4. #4

    We seek discussion for both reasons you've cited.
    Sensational thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Most of time for me it's validation. Although I'd like it to be for the other reason more often.
    Gossip Ghoul and Notus Asphodelus thanked this post.

  6. #6

    I can't see any logic that seeking to debate should be a sign of open mindedness. Open mindedness is a quality you have or you don't have. You can be a very introverted person and never seek out other people and be open minded as fuck, and you can be an ENTP seeking to debate all kind of shit just for pure intellectual entertainment.

    Usually the reason want to hear others opinions are either to expand their horizon on a given topic, or because they are down right insecure about their own opinion/potential decision they are going to make.

  7. #7

    We're social creatures. That validation is important. We are pack animals.

  8. #8

    Hmm interestingly I'm the same. But I think my motivation is not to get other people's views on the matter as such, but to get other people's view on my opinion on the matter, so I guess it's more affirmation. For instance, if I don't get the appeal in something that is hugely popular I will pose a question of "what's the appeal? What do you enjoy about it?", making out as if I want to understand what people see in it but in reality I usually dismiss valid responses because I personally do not see the appeal, so even if someone tells me why they like it, I will still "feel bad" for not seeing the appeal, if that makes sense. Often I'm more after a scientific meta-response like "You don't like it because of [insert psychological reasons here]" rather than "Because it's awesome for [insert reasons here]".

  9. #9

    Could be both. It's totally natural to seek out validation, though. It kind of sounds like you're putting validation in a negative light but reassurance and support is tremendously important.
    Notus Asphodelus thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by LandOfTheSnakes View Post
    Could be both. It's totally natural to seek out validation, though. It kind of sounds like you're putting validation in a negative light but reassurance and support is tremendously important.
    I do consider, in this circumstance, seeking validation as a sign of fickleness/insecurity. I'd prefer to be able to have faith in my opinions with or without the support of others, especially for opinions of mine that aren't received well.
    outofplace thanked this post.


     
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