[Generation X] Emotional immaturity

Emotional immaturity

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This is a discussion on Emotional immaturity within the Generation X Forum forums, part of the The Generations category; So I've been examined by a psychologist and he says I'm emotionally immature, despite being a very rational person and ...

  1. #1
    Generation Y

    Emotional immaturity

    So I've been examined by a psychologist and he says I'm emotionally immature, despite being a very rational person and having no "serious" personality issues. This immaturity is supposed to be a cause of relationship and professional failures.

    It seems my emotions haven't become more mature, because I repressed them too much. When my anger comes out, it's like a child's anger according to this psychologist.

    Has anybody here struggled with this problem? What can I do to overcome it?
    Last edited by Blazkovitz; 09-23-2018 at 05:36 AM.



  2. #2

    Too vague. I'm not sure what you really need. What I can tell is that when it comes to emotion, you have to embrace it for what it is and not try to push it away. Always keep asking yourself why you are feeling the way that you feel. For example, are you angry? Why are you angry? How does it make you angry? Where is the trigger point that sparks the anger? Always evaluate your emotions. It's just like troubleshooting a software malfunction and finding where the true problem lies, because sometimes the anger (for example) that you feel may have nothing to do with anger at all but fear or something else entirely. Then, it comes to the task of how are you going to communicate these thought process to the people around you. The more you understand the nature of your emotion, the less likely you will act prematurely..

  3. #3
    Generation Y

    I think the child-like character of my anger shows when I start talking about everything that is wrong with this person. As long as I'm calm, I understand how stupid is such behaviour. But when the anger reaches certain level, I regress into immaturity. You can avoid talking to a friend when you know you'll say something stupid or nasty, but with a boss it's impossible. That's what caused job problems.

    Somebody told me to use relaxation techniques, but not always there's time for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Notus Asphodelus
    It's just like troubleshooting a software malfunction and finding where the true problem lies, because sometimes the anger (for example) that you feel may have nothing to do with anger at all but fear or something else entirely
    Fear definitely has something to do with my reactions to criticism. There are some forms of criticism I can take in, in others that make me mad. How can I react more calmly if someone calls me nuts?
    Last edited by Blazkovitz; 09-23-2018 at 06:35 AM.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Piper View Post
    I think the child-like character of my anger shows when I start talking about everything that is wrong with this person. As long as I'm calm, I understand how stupid is such behaviour. But when the anger reaches certain level, I regress into immaturity. You can avoid talking to a friend when you know you'll say something stupid or nasty, but with a boss it's impossible. That's what caused job problems.

    Somebody told me to use relaxation techniques, but not always there's time for that.



    Fear definitely has something to do with my reactions to criticism. There are some forms of criticism I can take in, in others that make me mad. How can I react more calmly if someone calls me nuts?
    It depends on the intonation and context of which the person meant. Did the person call you nuts in regards to you as a person or nuts because.. well your idea is nuts? It also depends on who is saying it? Usually if a rando says it, I would be like meh.. who cares? Yet if you have taken offence to the person who told you that, it could mean that you value his/her opinion. Is the person your boss? If your boss have said it, you can jokingly debate with him on why you are not. If you believe in your idea and can soon provide proof that it's workable, your boss would grow to respect you whether or not you have a good career relationship with him.. Please don't let the opinion of others rule over you to the point that it becomes your identity. That's the thing I've been trying to live by each day as well.
    Little Egg thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Generation Y

    Quote Originally Posted by Notus Asphodelus View Post
    It depends on the intonation and context of which the person meant. Did the person call you nuts in regards to you as a person?
    Yes. I meant comments like, you lack friends, you may have autistic traits, etc. These are false, but when I'm stressed I do shut in and I can make such an impression.

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Piper View Post
    Yes. I meant comments like, you lack friends, you may have autistic traits, etc. These are false, but when I'm stressed I do shut in and I can make such an impression.
    Whoa.. those words are really unneccessary and most of the time untrue. Are you stressed because of this or due to workload that you've been given at present? I assume it's both. I hope you don't mind me asking what you do at your workplace? If you don't want to answer this, that'll be fine. I'll understand.

  8. #7
    Generation Y

    Quote Originally Posted by Notus Asphodelus View Post
    Whoa.. those words are really unneccessary and most of the time untrue. Are you stressed because of this or due to workload that you've been given at present? I assume it's both. I hope you don't mind me asking what you do at your workplace? If you don't want to answer this, that'll be fine. I'll understand.
    At this workplace where it happened (in May) I was a call centre agent. So being good at communication was crucial, and I am when I'm relaxed. So the issue is still child-like reactions to stress and anger, I suppose.

  9. #8
    Generation X

    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Piper View Post
    So I've been examined by a psychologist and he says I'm emotionally immature, despite being a very rational person and having no "serious" personality issues. This immaturity is supposed to be a cause of relationship and professional failures.

    It seems my emotions haven't become more mature, because I repressed them too much. When my anger comes out, it's like a child's anger according to this psychologist.

    Has anybody here struggled with this problem? What can I do to overcome it?
    Yes, I did 8 years of Intuitive experiential psychodrama to uncover and develop my emotions. Dave jetson leads group sessions, Or a quicker cheaper way would be to go to Man kind Project... https://mankindproject.org/new-warri...ing-adventure/
    Blazkovitz thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Generation X

    I like the MKP route because you get a support group of men to help develop things, and at this point in my life I get anger moderated by joy and sadness, which comes out as creating powerful things, being straight and standing up for people, which is way better than immature anger, so the key for me was getting to the point where I could feel all my emotions, and I use them, instead of the emotions using me.
    Sensational thanked this post.

  11. #10
    Generation Y

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicholasjh1 View Post
    Yes, I did 8 years of Intuitive experiential psychodrama to uncover and develop my emotions. Dave jetson leads group sessions, Or a quicker cheaper way would be to go to Man kind Project... https://mankindproject.org/new-warri...ing-adventure/
    Is it in any way related to Robert Bly's men's movement?

    I am a fan of Bly since he helped me develop my gender identity.


     
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