[Generation X] Aging in your 30's and 40's- how do you cope? - Page 3

Aging in your 30's and 40's- how do you cope?

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This is a discussion on Aging in your 30's and 40's- how do you cope? within the Generation X Forum forums, part of the The Generations category; I'm 44 and have noticed alot of changes going on in me recently.I can empathise with killerB, i started having ...

  1. #21

    I'm 44 and have noticed alot of changes going on in me recently.I can empathise with killerB, i started having hot flashes,night sweatsand other menopause symptoms mid last year.My cycle has become irregular,there was one time where i didn't have my period for six weeks.I really thought i might be pregnant and was stressing and worrying till i found out i wasn't, and i actually jumped for joy when my period finally arrived.I've noticed a little more gray among my dark brown/auburn tresses.I'm grumpy and moody all of the time and can't seem to lose the weight i've gained.I was very skinny when i was young too,and started stacking on the weight after i had children.My memory is starting to go,i almost put the milk in the cupboard the other day instead of in the refrigerator.I have noticed that i crave sex more often,but it is something i don't get much of these days.I get tired more easily and don't stay up as late as i used to.
    The Exception thanked this post.

  2. #22

    I was born 02/28/77. I consider myself a Gen X'er.

    I ache. My joints hurt. My muscles hurt. I'm getting wrinkles. I'm getting slower. I'm getting more freckles and moles. I'm becoming more skeptical and cynical.

    I'm getting tired of life, of the constant, depressing negativity that surrounds me. Nobody seems to understand me. I can't truly relate to anyone.

    I'm becoming more lonely every day.

  3. #23

    Quote Originally Posted by Slider View Post
    I was born 02/28/77. I consider myself a Gen X'er.

    I ache. My joints hurt. My muscles hurt. I'm getting wrinkles. I'm getting slower. I'm getting more freckles and moles. I'm becoming more skeptical and cynical.

    I'm getting tired of life, of the constant, depressing negativity that surrounds me. Nobody seems to understand me. I can't truly relate to anyone.

    I'm becoming more lonely every day.

    But i was pleased to see the mood "cheerful" noted on your post... I didn't see the personality type listed on this forum for some reason. Those of us who are INTJs and also the INFJs are uncommon enough to have lots of problems relating to people. So we hear you, for sure.

    if your experiencing the mole increase and wrinkles at 34, it will be very important to protect yourself from the sun. If the mole and freckle increase is a lot, a dermatologist might be consulted, to make sure there's no pathology or if there is it's caught early.

    At about 34 I got really depressed after having been briefly happier than ever. I had been lost and socially isolated since college, and I finally was taking some undergrad classes again to prep for grad school and had found a liberal, almost new-agey'ish kind of church to hang out and meet interesting and nice people at. That had short circuited some of the cynicism I was otherwise experiencing from my social isolation and unfulfilled dreams. I had a good year but then at 34 for some reason it really hit me-- how old I felt I was getting, (oh no, close to 40) and not having fulfilled various ambitions and had various experiences. I was depressed for like 2 straigh years, blubbing almost daily, it made graduate school a near blur. But I did get past that... Idid get depressed again too, a couple of times, in my late 30s, for similar reasons. But here I am 40 and my age doesn't bother me (and I shake my head at worrying about 40 at the young age of 34!)
    I'm a therapist--career is stalled due to economy, but what are you going to do? I am training in medical transcription and hopefully that will offer me opportunities, and I am contemplating the doctorate. Luckly enough I still look much like I ever did, and I think that's what I was afraid of. In the coming years, as my appearance changes, as it will, I'm sure I will go thru sadness over it. But what can you do?

    It's easy to be cynical, people are jerks. It's important to recognize what they are responsible for and what you are responsible for. Don't take the blame for them, and don't expect them to readily change if they are not willing to.

    Being on a blog really can address loneliness, some. I got a lot happier in my early 30's just getting the Internet. I really was able to reach out after years of isolation.
    Last edited by HowDareThey; 02-02-2011 at 07:52 AM. Reason: word choice
    refugee, The Exception, Sonne and 1 others thanked this post.

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  5. #24

    Quote Originally Posted by MuChApArAdOx View Post
    The older i get , the better it gets, all the way around. I don't view age as a number, more as experience. I wouldn't venture back to my 20's for anything. I feel as if my mentality is sharper , my insecurities have faded, i know who i am, where i'm going, and how to get there. And yes the SEX...i have to mention this also. The sex is 100 times better then its ever been. Perhaps because i feel totally comfortable in my skin, lights on and all
    That's how I feel too. :)

    I'm 40, and while I'd love to have my 20 year old body and skin back, I think I'm doing pretty damn good for my age. And yes, the sex is SO much better now! The only problem is not getting it enough! ;) (single here)

    I am more fit and active than I was when I was a teenager. I lift weights regularly, and am stronger than I've ever been. Everyone guesses me to be 5-10 years younger than I am. My chldren are 10 and 18, and they help keep me feeling young.

    However...I have had four surgeries in the last few years. I had a hysterectomy in 2009 (cancer scare - I'm okay, though), and a hernia repair and cholecystectomy in October 2010. My vision isn't as good as it used to be - I'm a bit nearsighted now. But, I am happy with my physique and overall health. I don't spend a lot of time in the sun and take good care of my skin (but I do hate those tiny lines around my eyes!).
    The Exception thanked this post.

  6. #25

    I'm taking better care of myself now then when I did years ago. I exercise regularly, but I do feel like it's harder to keep fit than when I was younger. I do feel some aging effects here and there though.

    I've been blessed genetically in that I've always looked younger than I am. I usually get guessed anywhere from 5 up to 10 years younger. Still, now that I've bumped over 40, I feel the pressure of age creeping in. As a side benefit, it gave me the courage to change careers to something I've always wanted to do (software development). Also, I'm more confident in myself now and much less self conscious than I was when I was younger.

    The one problem I find (and yes, this is a big generalization) is that people close to my age are much less internet savvy and more conventional in terms of social activities. As a result I sometimes feel out of place on internet forums where the average age seems to be mid 20's. So it's nice to at least find a little forum where people closer to my age congregate
    Rowan, Snakecharmer and The Exception thanked this post.

  7. #26

    Apart from other problems (kid, ex, work etc) I do not feel that old at all. Sure my face is betraying me somewhat (crows feet around eyes), and my hair is thinning. But my body is in good shape (do Martial Arts) and I pass for a 27-year old in asia...:-)

    The mental part: Well, so much to think about, so much to distract you. Hard to be as focused a s before. More tired and drained of energy, but then again, I am going through some tough shit right now (the past five years unfortunately).

    But I also feel more immature or "child at heart" than those my age. I think I start to look like a stranger in the mirror: That slightly aged face, who is that?

    Quite normal I think.
    Snakecharmer, The Exception, Sonne and 2 others thanked this post.

  8. #27

    Quote Originally Posted by Dementia in Absentia View Post

    My question is, have any of you experienced such changes in your thirties? Or any other aging changes you want to share? How are you coping with it mentally and emotionally?
    Hi Dementia in Absentia-
    Yes getting older creeps up on a person & our culture does tend to put a lot out there to create this sort of fear reaction in people, which doesn't help. As far the the physical stuff, it's not a bad idea to rule out food allergies/ some other medical reason for the physical discomfort/ pain. I went through something similiar in my late 20s/ early 30s & in my case a lot of the problems I was having were pregnancy/ weight gain related. About 7 years ago I really cleaned up my diet and now I get regular bloodwork done, exercise daily, etc. I do yoga, martial arts, pilates, walking. I know some people who are in their 50s, 60s & older doing yoga & who are more limber then I am, so that's inspiring!

    As far as the appearance stuff, one thing that has helped me is I have pretty much limited myself in how much I expose myself to the cultural messages that we are constantly bombarded with. Beauty magazines, television shows where there is an excessive focus on youth, beauty..I don't expose myself to a lot of that stuff anymore. I get a couple of feminist magazines (MS, Bust) & also National Geographic. I look at what interests me & what I find inspiring, and I expose myself to more things lke that. However, I do take care of myself physically, as we only get one body in this lifetime & I want mine to last! Though I don't wear make-up anymore & prefer myself without it, I do use henna which tints my grays and maybe one day when there is a ton of gray I just may leave it alone. I know some women who have let there hair grow in white/ gray and think that they look great.

    Another thing that helps is learning from who are older & who have some life experience under their belts for inspiration & guidance. Though I am married & straight, I have some older female friends in the lesbian community who have taught me a thing or two about inner beauty and who have helped me to really examine the cultural messages that we get exposed to, particularly those on physical beauty/ youth & how insidiously it creeps in to a person's psyche. There are so many people out there to learn from & great experinces to be had, despite the culture & the negative messages it pumps out.

    Like others have mentioned, I too don't necessarily feel my age, I just feel like 'me' and would not exactly want to revisit the insecurities of youth all over again. Getting older is not so bad, especially if you can view it in a different light.

    Good luck!
    screamofconscious, eithnii, eithnii and 15 others thanked this post.

  9. #28

    Curious
    There is nothing sinister to cope with.
    However, those who must cope with that which has to be coped with often utilise denial, as the main weapon in the arsenal (should it not have collapsed due to olde age).

    eg when many of archaic age, or alleged knackered age, peer at themselves in the mirror, one of denial stares them back - why many on oh dating sites allude to the pantaloons adage that there delusional reflection, often a snap shop from them in their prime in their mind, warrants that of younger. or at least that of a biased age range eg plus 1 minus 15...is the most simplest example I can cite - without sheer unadulterated panic.

    Granted, I have some insanity creeping in, in my twilight years.
    No doubt due to the excitable squirrel - who lives in the bottom of my garden tending to my nut plantation.
    And, whence as i was once a magnificent physical specimen, being able to bench press 5 muffins. Alas, being ravaged by the aeons I can now only bench-press 4 muffins and a pancake.


    Hmm there could be something in it (society) telling me how weak I have become.
    Spose I could get an ankle job, to enhance my slippers
    The Exception thanked this post.

  10. #29

    I've noticed some minor skin changes, which I'm okay with as long as I can make their progression minimal (which I think many people can). My hair has deteriorated, much more to me than to observers. I'm upset by that, not just aesthetically and how I feel I need to hide or fix it, but at the passage of time it indicates. Life is going by without giving me the achievements I long for. Aging reminds me that time is running out.
    The Exception thanked this post.

  11. #30

    Quote Originally Posted by Plancks Epic View Post
    I'm taking better care of myself now then when I did years ago. I exercise regularly, but I do feel like it's harder to keep fit than when I was younger. I do feel some aging effects here and there though.

    I've been blessed genetically in that I've always looked younger than I am. I usually get guessed anywhere from 5 up to 10 years younger. Still, now that I've bumped over 40, I feel the pressure of age creeping in. As a side benefit, it gave me the courage to change careers to something I've always wanted to do (software development). Also, I'm more confident in myself now and much less self conscious than I was when I was younger.

    The one problem I find (and yes, this is a big generalization) is that people close to my age are much less internet savvy and more conventional in terms of social activities. As a result I sometimes feel out of place on internet forums where the average age seems to be mid 20's. So it's nice to at least find a little forum where people closer to my age congregate
    I think our age, that is 40s, is sort of the first computer generation, so I think a lot of our peers are computer and internet savvy, but it's hard to keep up with some of the newer developments in the hand held and gaming technology.

    I agree its true about feeling less self conscious and more confident-- some of it is our peer group has matured too, and we're not having peers calling attention to pointless things as often, making us self conscious. I hate it when once in awhile I run into someone who's that immature in their 40s-- actually when I was in my 20s to about 30, men in their 40s were often very immature towards me at work, in that sense-- making dumb personal comments and such. However, most people our age and up are better behaved. I know what they mean about youth wasted on the young-- i feel like I finally have things figured out and not enough time left to do anything about it.

    I too have the youthful physical appearance, but it took till now to see it as anything close to positive. When I was young, people kept telling me I looked like a kid and acting accordingly towards me, which I resented and rejected. Odd, because as a pre teen I was perceived as so much older.

    Basically with age i've developed the confidence to be very suspicious of feedback of any kind-- I really just don't trust it!
    Snakecharmer and The Exception thanked this post.


     
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