[Generation X] Gen Xer dating

Gen Xer dating

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This is a discussion on Gen Xer dating within the Generation X Forum forums, part of the The Generations category; Are most of you married with kids? If not, how's your love life now? Care to share the eewards and ...

  1. #1

    Gen Xer dating

    Are most of you married with kids?

    If not, how's your love life now? Care to share the eewards and challenges meeting and dating being a Gen Xer?
    echoanne, Snakecharmer and Spills thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    Are most of you married with kids?

    If not, how's your love life now? Care to share the eewards and challenges meeting and dating being a Gen Xer?
    Divorced. No kids. Non-existent. I can't seem to bring myself to go through all that effort to impress/get to know a woman. I miss my ex-wife terribly, but that person appears to have been replaced by an alien.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by tanstaafl28 View Post
    Divorced. No kids. Non-existent. I can't seem to bring myself to go through all that effort to impress/get to know a woman. I miss my ex-wife terribly, but that person appears to have been replaced by an alien.
    Takes time to get over a bad breakup. Hang in there.

    You touch upon something I noticed in myself, too; the lack of motivation or energy to get to know a new person. Although I hardly ever suffer in dating, at my age I'd rather hang with people I've known for years than to meet new ppl. As a consequence I am firmly in the solo territory. :)

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    Takes time to get over a bad breakup. Hang in there.

    You touch upon something I noticed in myself, too; the lack of motivation or energy to get to know a new person. Although I hardly ever suffer in dating, at my age I'd rather hang with people I've known for years than to meet new ppl. As a consequence I am firmly in the solo territory. :)

    Well, I'm actually not that far away if you ever feel like having an adventure in Vegas. I'm to the point where I figure I've got nothing left to lose.
    chanteuse thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by tanstaafl28 View Post

    Well, I'm actually not that far away if you ever feel like having an adventure in Vegas. I'm to the point where I figure I've got nothing left to lose.
    You are not too far gone yet. Don't sell yourself short. Keep a positive attitude and a sense of wonder about people and relationships. Attitude is something that's unspoken but powerful undercurrent that people feel about you.

    I was in Vegas like 3 weeks ago for a weekend getaway. This town grows like cancer. Every time I visited there's a new community and more new houses. I spent a day in valley of fire, one of my favs in LV.

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    Are most of you married with kids?
    I've been divorced for ten years, and my children are 15 and 22.

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    If not, how's your love life now?
    What love life?

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    Care to share the eewards and challenges meeting and dating being a Gen Xer?
    Rewards:
    No pressure to have children
    More awareness of what I want/really don't want
    Better understanding of myself...my flaws and quirks...
    Much better at figuring out if I am likely to click with someone

    Challenges:
    Smaller dating pool
    A lot of men my age are bitter and jaded about women
    I have a lot of energy and have found that most men my age cannot keep up with me
    Many people my age are set in their ways and aren't open to learning new things...they aren't open-minded

    I have the added challenges of...
    ...being an anarchist
    ...not liking sports
    ...being an introvert
    ...not liking the bar scene

    So, I'm probably doomed to be forever alone.
    echoanne, damfino, undeadlesbian and 2 others thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Snakecharmer View Post
    I've been divorced for ten years, and my children are 15 and 22.



    What love life?



    Rewards:
    No pressure to have children
    More awareness of what I want/really don't want
    Better understanding of myself...my flaws and quirks...
    Much better at figuring out if I am likely to click with someone

    Challenges:
    Smaller dating pool
    A lot of men my age are bitter and jaded about women
    I have a lot of energy and have found that most men my age cannot keep up with me
    Many people my age are set in their ways and aren't open to learning new things...they aren't open-minded

    I have the added challenges of...
    ...being an anarchist
    ...not liking sports
    ...being an introvert
    ...not liking the bar scene

    So, I'm probably doomed to be forever alone.

    Congrats! You are almost done with taking care of a minor. I see a marked difference between parents who have kids over 18 and under 18. The empty nesters are much happier and freer as if a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders. :)


    I think, each life stage has its advantages and challenges. Reading the teens/20/30 somethings bemoan their love life often makes me chuckle. What I used to bitch about, looking back, seems so trivial and unimportant.

    Try younger guys. They are wonderful and have more energy to spare. However, career and the want of children may make some younger guys short term material, not having long term prospect.

    As cheesy as it sounds, dating websites do wonders for introverts and odd balls. My cousin is getting married in a couple of months. I suspect he's an INFJ. He met his wife on eHarmony. But you have to have patience, like a spider waiting for a prey to fly into her web. If not, it can be a frustrating experience. BTW, once your young one is 18, your love life shall improve.
    echoanne, damfino and Snakecharmer thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    Congrats! You are almost done with taking care of a minor. I see a marked difference between parents who have kids over 18 and under 18. The empty nesters are much happier and freer as if a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders. :)

    I think, each life stage has its advantages and challenges. Reading the teens/20/30 somethings bemoan their love life often makes me chuckle. What I used to bitch about, looking back, seems so trivial and unimportant.

    Try younger guys. They are wonderful and have more energy to spare. However, career and the want of children may make some younger guys short term material, not having long term prospect.

    As cheesy as it sounds, dating websites do wonders for introverts and odd balls. My cousin is getting married in a couple of months. I suspect he's an INFJ. He met his wife on eHarmony. But you have to have patience, like a spider waiting for a prey to fly into her web. If not, it can be a frustrating experience. BTW, once your young one is 18, your love life shall improve.
    My 15 year old homeschools, but he's with his dad about half of the time, which is good for everyone. He's 15 going on 40, I say...he's very mature and I often forget he's so young.

    My last serious relationship was with a younger guy, and we got along very well (distance and some other issues caused us to part ways, but I still think the world of him).

    I'd definitely be open to seeing a younger guy again...

    I have used OkCupid on and off, but right now, I really don't have the time to get to know someone new, nor the interest. And...online dating feels so unnatural to me...hard to explain.
    chanteuse thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Snakecharmer View Post
    My 15 year old homeschools, but he's with his dad about half of the time, which is good for everyone. He's 15 going on 40, I say...he's very mature and I often forget he's so young.

    My last serious relationship was with a younger guy, and we got along very well (distance and some other issues caused us to part ways, but I still think the world of him).

    I'd definitely be open to seeing a younger guy again...

    I have used OkCupid on and off, but right now, I really don't have the time to get to know someone new, nor the interest. And...online dating feels so unnatural to me...hard to explain.
    45+ many lost the patience for new people. It's a natural process. Young people are never tired of meeting more new people. For me (and many others my age), meeting and getting to know someone new feels like going to the dentist. ;)

    However, on the other hand, when my tolerance is high (it isn't always), I do try to overcome the irritation. It used to be once a year. Now it's been two years I still have no inclination to get back on OKCupid to meet someone new. I haven't tried Tinder yet. Perhaps when I get rid of 10lb I'd give it a shot. Not for ONS but to meet a total stranger to shoot the breeze for an hour or two (as if guys don't have sex on their mind ^-*)
    Snakecharmer thanked this post.

  11. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by chanteuse View Post
    You are not too far gone yet. Don't sell yourself short. Keep a positive attitude and a sense of wonder about people and relationships. Attitude is something that's unspoken but powerful undercurrent that people feel about you.

    I was in Vegas like 3 weeks ago for a weekend getaway. This town grows like cancer. Every time I visited there's a new community and more new houses. I spent a day in valley of fire, one of my favs in LV.
    I'm only about 9 months out from my divorce and this month would have marked the 20th anniversary of our first date. I am helping my ex take a network security course, so we are seeing each other about once a week. She's so different now. I keep wanting to find a way back into her heart, even though it was she who betrayed me.
    Gossip Goat and chanteuse thanked this post.


     
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