This is a discussion on Is it bad to die a virgin? within the Generation Y Forum forums, part of the The Generations category; Originally Posted by dvnj22 I'm not asexual or anything, I have sexual desires. I feel no need to act on ...
Here's the relieving news - dying feels much better than popping your cherry. At least from the descriptions of virginal women.
There is a lot of pressure in society to not be a virgin. People naturally have the urge to have sex. What you are feeling is your body's urge to have sex being repelled by your mind.. you may think you aren't good enough, you don't look attractive enough, you want to wait etc. but these are just thoughts. What you really want is to have sex, so if you get the urge to have sex with a girl, go after her.
The best advice I can give.
You're the own expert of your own life. Some people see that, and they want to take it away from you, because they are unhappy and feel powerless.
When unhappy people see happy people, and they don't know how to handle self-empowerment for themselves, they need to judge you as being deficient. In turn, they become more deficient, and the cycle continues because there's no revelation to find (sorta like watching a dog chasing its tail).
Inside, you know what makes you happy. You know what works for you. You have the courage that those people lack. I say, embrace yourself and what you're all about, be proud, and let that light shine because only you known your own truth and that truth speaks to you in times of doubt, sadness, loss, happiness, and bliss. It is always there inside of you to guide you. You're doing great so far! You feel fearless, and that's all that matters..!!
As men are expected to be sexual aggressors and initiators, society sort of virgin shames men who are virgins by giving them lonely, depressing lives or deaths. I fear virgins like me, esp men over 20 will be rejected by a woman who would freak out that I am still a virgin in my mid twenties.
There's nothing bad per se, but if it makes YOU feel bad then it could be... You have to decide which is more important: Waiting to do it with a person you love (like, even lust?) or just get it out of the way with anyone no feelings attached (given you don't really care anymore and just want to do it to get the 'virgin' off you. You would also have to decide if you want to lose it because you actually want to or if you're just conditioned into thinking you have to lose it.
I think that the preoccupation with sex is a little overboard, at least culturally. Is it bad to die a virgin? How about is it bad to die without having accomplished something, or forgiven someone who you felt wronged you, or having truly helped someone, etc. etc.? As I'm dying I'd like virginity to be the least of my concerns if possible. Although it wouldn't apply to me anymore anyway. But my sentiments were the same before I made my sexual debut, so to speak.
My belief is that virginity exists ONLY as an outdated social construct anyway. Some social constructs serve valuable functions. Others are just archaic remnants of dumber times past.