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"I Hate Being A Grownup"

[Generation Y] 
19K views 128 replies 76 participants last post by  Judson Joist 
#1 ·
This is an attitude I've noticed is rather common and unique to generation Y. Maybe I just believe everything older people tell me and get all my impressions of past generations from novels, but it seems that this kind of adult-delay didn't really occur before. As though in the past, you simply come of age and are expected to assume the appropriate behavior and responsibilities of an adult, no complaints.

Now, I see it everywhere: jokes about how twentysomethings "fail at being an adult", hate doing practical "grownup" things, don't behave what would typically be seen as "maturely" - it seems to not only be prevalent, but something looked on with amusement. Why? What caused this trend? Or have I just been reading too many Buzzfeed listicles to pass the time and it's not actually that common?
 
#3 ·
each generation looks at the subsequent generation in similar fashion.

however, the age of adulthood seems to start later with each generation.

I remember my boomer friends. I was in college, they were working. Most of them got married between mid 20s to mid 30s. Today, their kids are college age or already working.

My generation got married from late 20s to late 30s. Today many are mired deep in raising children and/or doing the last push to get ahead at work.

Gen Yers I don't know the % and age when they settle down. The small bit of sample I encountered in Los Angeles all seem to be ok dating. They talked about marriage and parenthood with a slight negative tone and a bit of fear. I don't blame them. Marriage and having children don't mix well with socializing and free time. One has to give up some to get some.
 
#4 ·
I work with a lot of Gen Y & Z's. More of them than my own generation, to be honest I haven't seen a stark difference between those Gens and myself at the same age. The only thing that has really changed is that marriage and family happen later in life now for practical or not so practical reasons. But I don't necessarily see 20 somethings now as any more developmentally delayed than I was at the same age. In many ways the 20's are an extended adolescence, it's the first time in your life that you have money and it's incredibly freeing to have an income to call your own. Pretty natural to go and bit loose and silly with it until you learn better.

Sure enough I moved out of home permanently while still in my teens and was financially independant of my folks from my first pay packet. But this staying at home until married, have a house or whatever is actually a step back in time with moving out early and being totally independant just a brief trend in the annals of history.
 
#5 ·
I'm sorry. I had to.



As far as I'm concerned, those who are the loudest are the least likely of being right. People just relate to a split second thought of "Oh fuck I have to do the laundry, oh but these other people do it too so I'm not alone!" A lot of Buzzfeed feeds on that, I even know a girl who works there, and even I think she has a terrible representation of Gen Y. The attention is just being fed on things that don't pertain to the growth of humanity or anything worthwhile or investment worthy. All those participation trophies probably didn't help either.

I probably fail at being an adult, and that's okay for now, because I'm trying to fix my mistakes. Sure, I might be unemployed for a bit, but at least I no longer have a job that is eating away at my skin and health. People really begin to learn in young adulthood.
 
#6 ·
I don't hate being an adult ... Those I find who say that hate the responsibilities... But enjoy the freedoms even though those responsibilities are the cost of that freedom to be an adult
 
#7 ·
i agree to user InSolitude. Age 18/20-25 is our extented teenage(second teenage). In this age group they are either in colleges or work. They are in between immature teenagers and grownup adults. In this phase they first start to realise that they are aging. They start to hate aging and become childish.
FACT - NOBODY LIKES TO BEING AN OLD ONE.
 
#8 · (Edited)
I think plenty of people probably complained in previous generations - they just didn't have the internet to sing it from the rooftops. I mean, look at how much literature revolves around coming-of-age - it's an enormous amount. Adulthood is a huge turning point in people's lives and they are naturally going to have some negative responses to the changes.

As others have alluded to, people are taking on adulthood at later ages, which at least in my opinion gives them extra time to develop perspective on the pros and cons of adulthood, since it seems more like an option, where in previous generations it may have simply seemed more like a necessary step. Plus, in many historical cultures, adulthood was marked with ceremonies and celebrated, but that's not really a thing anymore - or at least, the traditions that still exist are often implemented at such a young age that we don't really associate them with the transition - and I think that we miss out on the social pride and respect that used to be more of a reward for transitioning to adulthood.

Without much clear social gain, a large uptick in the amount of responsibilities and practical requirements, and often with a big drop in monetary security, it's no wonder that people aren't as thrilled about adulthood as they could be.
 
#11 ·
I certainly wish I was a kid again, but I'd say graduating high school and starting college the same year the housing bubble burst, losing both my grandparents to lung cancer, and having been very sheltered by them and kinda thrown into the adult world didn't help. :\

That said, I've noticed that a lot of people have commented that life decisions are being delayed, but no one has really discussed why. I think living in a developed country delays maturity since life is easier. When material security is a given, people aren't in a rush to get married, have kids, and establish a career. We have more time to experiment and explore these things in a more childlike manner compared to previous generations. In a more harsh environment, people would be forced to mature earlier. Combine this with an economic crisis that makes things harder for Gen Y people than it was for their parents and you get a bit of awkwardness about adulthood from some of them.
 
#12 ·
Funny I just went over to Facebook and a friend of mine had a lengthy status about feeling lonely and a fear of being stranded, and mentioned being in his mid-20s and thinking more about his "youth running out of time". Then I googled quarterlife crisis and foind thsi website: Quarterlife Crisis - a one-stop info-shop for recent grads & beyond
Q: What makes the QLC unique for twentysomethings today?
A: Essentially, it is taking longer to become an adult today based on traditional markers such as financial independence and starting a family. The average American job hops 8 times before the age of 32, the average college graduate accrues $20,000 in education loan debt, and the average age to get married is now 27.
 
#13 · (Edited)
There are some things which are expected of people once they reach a certain age because these behaviors contribute to running society and maintaining the status quo. These stings are: getting married in your 20s, working a job, buying a house, creating a family, paying taxes and doing this till you eventually roll into your early grave preferably before you can retire, so you don't become a burden to the system. In short they expect you to comply with their view of the world, nothing more.

I don't see why my generation should continue living like that, especially since we can't as external conditions do not enable such a lifestyle. Furthermore, why should anyone listen to others in the first place? You are not a fucking child anymore, start thinking for yourself for fuck's sake! Greatness has never been achieved by those who constantly guide themselves based on what other people think they should do.

So no, fuck the status quo, fuck their system & fuck their lifestyle as well as the opinion of prior generations. They had their chance and they fucked up, I personally won't listen to anything they have to say about how I should live my life. i want my chance to fuck up as well >.> so get off my back!

I don't want to be a kid again, why would I, now that I'm free to do whatever I see fit. Freedom comes at a price, suck it up and go kick some fucking ass!
 
#14 ·
Cost of living is an important factor - one of my aunts, a late Boomer, bought her current house with her husband for about $80,000 in the 1980s.. she was 23. That's an impossible feat these days unless you have wealthy parents. That same house is worth over $200,000 today.

I know people who bought London apartments for $100,000 in the 1990s and today they are worth over $1 million.

In the US at least, real wages have been stagnant since the 1970s, so in real terms young people probably are worse off now than 40 years ago.

Other things like marriage, commitment, children - I think the former two are simply less attractive in the eyes of Generation Y. Most of them don't see the need for marriage and are happy to cohabit. Many don't want to be tied down to one particular person and shun traditional dating. As for children - many see it as a financial burden, and would rather travel while they're young and have children later, or wait until they are financially secure. I think it's sensible.

As for hating adult responsibilities - well, I think we all hate that. Generation Y just have Buzzfeed to talk about it.
 
#15 ·
Getting degree and job in 30s, marry in 40s, having kids in 50s, death in ?? Lol
why adult(18+) peoples in US/developed countries are like this? why they become too lazy and irresponsible peoples?
in reality, they simply wasting theirown life because they are too lazy to live. lol
 
#18 · (Edited)
I think it has to do with all the special snowflake syndrome Gen Y was infused with. They weren't taught to grow up. Mommy and daddy will always be there for you for whatever reason. Mind you, I've touched on this elsewhere, but Gen Y and Z are so screwed.

Having left home at the age of fifteen, I was pretty much forced to become an adult. I had to go to school and work in the lab. I also got a job when I turned eighteen, whilst continuing my studies. When I lived in the US, anyone under the age of twenty-five was really whiny about everything under the sun. Tuition is too high even though you're stripping your way through college on top of the fact that your parents are paying your way. This is too hard. I hate that I have to actually study to pass a course in basket weaving. Why do things cost money? Government owes me everything. My parents are so mean. Suck it up, people. You have things to do and the vast majority of you sure as hell aren't special, so get that ridiculous notion out of your mind.

Mind you, Europe seemed to be a little better in certain ways. I'm under the impression that this is a Western concept. I haven't see this in the East. Definitely not in Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, or Sri Lanka. It's a completely different mentality.

And you should probably stay away from Buzzfeed. It just perpetuates Peter Pan syndrome.
 
#23 ·
I think it has to to with all the special snowflake syndrome Gen Y was infused with. They weren't taught to grow up. Mommy and daddy will always be there for you for whatever reason. Mind you, I've touched on this elsewhere, but Gen Y and Z are so screwed.

Having left home at the age of fifteen, I was pretty much forced to become an adult. I had to go to school and work in the lab. I also got a job when I turned eighteen, whilst continuing my studies. When I lived in the US, anyone under the age of twenty-five was really whiny about everything under the sun. Tuition is too high even though you're stripping your way through college on top of the fact that your parents are paying your way. This is too hard. I hate that I have to actually study to pass a course in basket weaving. Why do things cost money? Government owes me everything. My parents are so mean. Suck it up, people. You have things to do and the vast majority of you sure as hell aren't special, so get that ridiculous notion out of your mind.

Mind you, Europe seemed to be a little better in certain ways. I'm under the impression that this is a Western concept. I haven't see this in the East. Definitely not in Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, or Sri Lanka. It's a completely different mentality.

And you should probably stay away from Buzzfeed. It just perpetuates Peter Pan syndrome.
Where are you originally from?
 
#19 ·
1. I make other people do things for me and I'm 26.

2. I don't hate being an adult because I don't run the treadmill. The only thing I dislike is the preoccupation with sex people have when they reach 20 and above.

3. I live off welfare and disability and have no responsibilities and no stress. Have no intention of ever working and I think shame tactics are petty.
 
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#21 ·
What does Gen Y and Gen Z have in store for them? Poor job market, massive debt, on-demand entertainment and pornography at home and in pocket, low incentive to marry or raise families, and years of institutionalized herding by careless teachers and counselors, as well as limp-wristed guidance from parents who probably separated and worked all the time while their kids were in daycare (school). No wonder there are so many undercooked adults with no real desire to participate in the adult world, where's the carrot on the stick?
 
#27 ·
I enjoy being my own man, living on my own terms and not being dependent on anyone else. Adulthood is liberating in many ways. OK, so you have to do your own laundry, get your own groceries and plan your finances carefully, but these duties are not burdensome to me. Indeed, I wish I had learned to cook and take greater ownership of my affairs at a much younger age. It seemed so bothersome when I was a sullen adolescent - if only I had known!

The greatest downside to growing up, in my view, is the way so many people drift apart. Childhood is the great leveller. I would meet my friends in school or in the park and we would chat about TV shows we liked, science fiction books we had read and games we would play on the weekend. We were small-town boys, laughing and joking, sometimes arguing, but always only dimly aware of the outside world, its vastness and its complexity.

After graduation, my friends and I moved on and I never saw them again. We all formed new friendships, worked in different places and settled into new lifestyles. Most of my cousins and friends have gone down the marriage + parenthood route. I'm sure they're very pleased with themselves, but it's made them rather boring. I have nothing in common with them anymore and even if I did, the ball and chain they're attached to wouldn't let them come out and socialise. My relatives still live in hope that I'll end up the same way: all "yes, dear", mortgages, school places, taking the kids to the park every Sunday, playing golf with the boss, Mr. White-Picket-Fence. Finally, the frailty of old age and a long, drawn-out death in a nursing home. Excuse my French, boys and girls, but fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Like I said, adulthood can be liberating and at times thoroughly enjoyable but that freedom and pleasure come at a price.
 
#29 ·
I love being a grown up...and I'm just starting to feel like one to be honest at 28. When you're in your late teens early 20s you might miss your childhood a little but that fades. When you're in your mid 20s you struggle to be taken seriously as an adult, as you near 30 you start to be taken more seriously. Granted I have nice childhood memories I look back on, but being an independent adult is still better.
 
#41 ·
I love being a grown up...and I'm just starting to feel like one to be honest at 28. When you're in your late teens early 20s you might miss your childhood a little but that fades. When you're in your mid 20s you struggle to be taken seriously as an adult, as you near 30 you start to be taken more seriously.
when we reach our early 20s we love to become a child again. This is because we start to feel old first time in our life
 
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