Still struggling for my Head fix - Page 2

Still struggling for my Head fix

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This is a discussion on Still struggling for my Head fix within the Head Triad - Types 5,6,7 forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Thanks for the replies| After much time thinking thing through, I do now acknowledge my conflicting need to be removed ...

  1. #11
    Type 4w5

    Thanks for the replies|

    After much time thinking thing through, I do now acknowledge my conflicting need to be removed from the world be fear of being incompetent, yet also needing to interact with novelty and keeping things interesting.

    I still believe that I'm a core 4 because of my basic fear of being broken, different and I'm very sensitive to feelings of rejection (social variant). I remember in elementary school letting other kids going ahead of me while queueing at the microwave at luchtime. That was somehow a confirmation of my social inferiority and those thoughts gave me comfort weirdly enough. I secretly loved to be seen hurt, tearing up and hunching my back in defeat. It was an unconscious way of telling people ''please, nurture me and make me feel better''.

    The 7 part is a little more situational, but shows up when I believe now is not the time to bawl my eyes out or, at least, put the spotlight on me. I goof off and crack jokes to keep a light atmosphere in order to divert the attention about my actual emotional state. I even got a friend with whom I'm always joking around in an exagerated, theatrical way because I couldn't handle the fact of being sad for too long and being seen as a burden in his eyes.

    The 9 energy is still 100% felt and won't budge. I numbs my 4ish way of being always so dramatic and reactive, helping me accepting things the way they are.


     
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