A while ago, I made a post about being unsure about what my head fix could be. For a while I was toying with the idea of being a 6 fix because of my tendency to be sensitive to the opinions of others and afraid of the unknown. Then I thought about a 5 fix because it reflects my tendency to crave separation from other and isolation. Finally, I settled on 7 for my habit of relentless joking around and priotizing pleasure before duty.
Nevertheless, I'm absolutely sure about being a core 4. Envy is constantly seeping through my pores and I frequently long for things inaccessible at the moment. I also believe 9 to be my gut fix and probably coming second in order. I'm also a quite strong 5 wing so that may complicate the elimination process between the head types. On top of that, I'm also a social 4, so that may makes me look like a 6 sometimes.
On the 5 fix:
I mostly spend my free time on the computer trying to learn as much as possible on a variety of topics about the human world. I have a very intuitive mind that has a hard time to translate thoughts into sensible sentences. I'm more attuned to theories and symbolism than actual facts (I'm also an intuitive on the MBTI, so that might be the reason why). I spend a very large amount of time in my head trying to refine my knowledge on esoteric subjects like astrology, mbti, numerology, tarot, etc. I love to make patterns and new concepts out of known information. I hate going outside, I really do. I feel drained and crave my own intimacy to a point when I can be cranky and easily tired.
On the 6 fix:
The thing is, I don't relate much to the fear of being separate from others in a 6 way, that is I don't want people to be on my side and protect/guide me. Yes, I am afraid of being harmed, but I'm not always aware of the danger that my decisions might entail. I do sometimes anticipate danger, but more in a tragic, dark novel-like way, and on a more grander scale, like World Wars and the likes. I can be verbally curt and aggressive to someone but the emotion doesn't usually seem to stem from a way to defend myself against a threat. I usually react that way when I feel belittled or humiliated about my knowledge of a specific subject. Working in costumer service left me with a lot of opportunities let my anger flare up when I couldn't get respect. Basically, it's more a Heart center problem I think(?) Finally, I'm not very systematic and inductive/deductive in my thinking, as would a 6 be.
On the 7 fix:
I love free time and I couldn't say no to more fun. But my free time is mostly spent alone, away from loud noise and excitement. I also tend to be ambivalent to new gadgets and technology, relying instead on my old stuff. I'm not that positive and tend to be annoyed by too much positivity. On the other side, I love to joke and play overblown stereotypes to my few friends. I anticipate the futur sometimes, but not in a consistent hopeful/pessimistic way. I also don't identify with the variety-seeking/more is better of the type. I love dwelling deeper into my fields of interest, however wide they be. I could be interested in the enneagram for weeks and weeks, trying to know as much as possible about it. I like only on or two genres of video games and I want to have extensive knowledge of a game's universe. I also would sacrifice financial security for more freedom.
Thanks in advance for any input!