This thread is a partial vent, but I feel like something needs to be said about this topic. I'm kind of upset over what I heard.
Just a short while ago I was at the gym, and as I was in the locker room this woman and presumably her daughter were at the scale. She had the girl step on the scale. "You're fat", she said in a harsh tone. She said it two more times, I guess she was really trying to force the message into her. The girl stared at the floor, the look on her face said it all. Thinking back I wish I had been able to process the situation fast enough to actually speak up for her before they walked out. I wish I could have told her "Hey, I'm fat too." I wish I could have reassured her "someday you'll be an adult and I believe in you that you'll work out because you choose to, not because of your bitch of a mother."
This is NOT how you help someone to lose weight. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. You can encourage them but in the end they must learn to self-motivate, parental disapproval/shaming or forcing them is not the way to do it. If forced, they will stop the moment you aren't around to shame them and the whole thing will be remembered bitterly.
Fat people aren't stupid, they know they're fat every day they look in the mirror. I've been there too, the down feeling as a parent tells you you're too fat. And because its your parent, there's no winning, there's no defending yourself. It never made me want to try. It made me shut down and try shut it out. That's what I saw in that girl, shutting down. I've been overweight since I was a kid, and when I was young being told these things "crazitaco is fat" just felt like a fact, reality and I didn't feel like it was something that was likely to ever change. I still don't know if I'll actually do it or not, but I've been going strong 30 minutes moderate cardio almost daily for about a month and I really hope to make this a permanent lifestyle change.
Shit like this is why kids go onto tumblr and write about "fatphobia". Fat-shaming has the opposite of the intended effect, instead of learning to self-motivate, it pushes them deeper into their state learned helplessness. And in that state they'll cling to whatever message gives them their hope and confidence back. Unfortunately, without any source of positive encouragement to loose weight, they instead cling to the false positivity in the message of "fat acceptance", which is just as harmful as the shaming. Being fat isn't healthy, this is the hard reality. Being fat makes your life harder/worse off in every way. Its a strain on your physical health, its a strain on your mental health, its a strain on your finances. What's driven me to start exercising is concern over heart disease and how such disease would lower my quality of life. I wouldn't want to be diabetic and constantly worry about my blood sugar for the rest of my life, I wouldn't want to stroke out and lose control over half my body either. I would lose so much of my time and effort in an uphill battle to maintain my miserable and degraded body instead of spending that time in ways that I want to.
But anyway, that's all I have to say. Work out because it'll make your life better.