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What do you believe is your single greatest weakness?

23K views 164 replies 144 participants last post by  infpshewolf 
#1 ·
I feel mine would have to be the fact that I find it incredibly difficult to trust people.
 
#27 ·
My biggest weakness is that I care too much. It's a beautiful thing, but many take advantage of it without a second thought. :p
 
#29 ·
Either a lack of trust in others to understand me, or all the bad things that rush to me at the slightest hint of envy. It's a pretty even balance ._.
 
#31 ·
My greatest weakness is my internal struggle with the manner in which I fear people perceive me and how I process that. As part of my own anxiety, even when I'm managing this to the best of my ability, I often feel helpless to let go of fear and live in the moment. I focus so on romantic ideals, particularly in my relationships, that I can't enjoy the present - I'm too fixed on the larger picture and the deeper issues that that may have flaws. I never quite feel like I'm in sync with others, as emotionally and mentally, I'm viewing situations from a different perspective and it feels isolating and lends to taking situations to a place of sabatoge. I don't know if this makes sense for other fours, but I have a hard time trusting others and having faith in my relationships, being that my concept of comfort and stability is often so grandiose and unrealistic.

My expectations of myself and others are often too unrealistic and maintaining balance and trust is chalenging.
 
#32 ·
I can relate to a lot of this, but I don't think I have trust issues. I could express it in those terms, and maybe I did once, but then it dawned on me that it's really not about trust (in fact, I can be naively trusting in many ways.... & this clarification will really separate the 4s & the 6s, IMO). I'll keep a wall up not because I fear I cannot trust people, but because I doubt they will like me if they get too close (the other reason, related to my 5 wing, is people simply drain me & I don't want to feel obligated to them...). I don't feel like I have any individual significance, which is likely why my mindset tends to revolve around creating things/pursuing ideas/activities which feel significant, and then associating those with my identity...anyhow..

Less than not trusting others, it's more that I doubt I have enough value for anyone to stick around.... I don't lack trust in them, but value in myself. I can't trust people to value me when I struggle to see the value. It's almost like I wouldn't blame anyone for rejecting me.

I have a lot of struggle with accepting that people like me... as you say "the manner in which I fear people perceive me" - I fear they see me as unlikable or annoying or just dull & insignificant. In order to accept that someone likes me, I probably require something quite grandiose & unrealistic too.

How this relates to my biggest flaw - well, I am too concerned with my identity and how I am perceived & what I am worth, so that it makes me a bit self-absorbed, unable to just BE in the moment because of hyper self-awareness, detached from reality (I'm trying to grasp the accurate perception of myself but just get lost in my own feelings of defectiveness, which colors everything), and poor at connecting with other people in a personal way because I can't imagine they'd find me interesting (although I easily play therapist to them). Then there's the moodiness...
 
#36 ·
Good question.

My greatest weakness is probably my own self-destruction. When things go wrong, I will usually end up destroying myself. I have done things such as cutting, making myself feel emotional pain and whatnot. I will get into this mode where I hate myself and I am my own worst enemy.
 
#38 ·
My struggle between my head and my heart. When I follow my heart and it goes badly, my head uses it as evidence against following my heart. So then the next time I try following my head, which is clumsy and filled with random rules I make up for myself, so then I end up crashing and burning.

So rarely do the two ever meet up for coffee and decide on the same place.
 
#40 ·
I have such a need to talk about what I feel and who I feel for, that because I have no-one to talk to who'll really understand, I tell anyone who'll listen. Regardless of whether they can be trusted or not. I can turn from a forever locked-closed book to an open one in a matter of seconds, and I hate it.
 
#41 ·
So being a type 4 I read that "equanimity" which is defined as calmness/composure in a difficult situation is our virtue. And boy, when I think about it, this is probably the hardest thing for me.

Sometimes what will upset others and what others will define as a "difficult situation" is not the same as mine, which gives me the false belief that I am a composed person, cuz I'm not freaking out about what they are freaking out with...idk...like heavy traffic. haha.

However, if I do analyze how I react to what I consider difficult situations like "harsh criticism, someone breaking one of my values, being yelled at or feeling like I was at fault for causing trouble" I find that I had completely crumbled into tears during those moments and found it hard to pick myself up and continue with my life like nothing had happened. I won't eat, I can't do my homework, and the thought of going to work the very next day and risking someone picking up on my internal struggle suddenly becomes frightening.

Lack of Equanimity (though I had to look up the definition for it), I think is my single greatest weakness. And if I could overcome it, then that would be a personal miracle.
 
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#42 ·
Lack of Equanimity (though I had to look up the definition for it), I think is my single greatest weakness. And if I could overcome it, then that would be a personal miracle.
Its definitely inside you.
Equanimity is the real reason we feel different from others. I don't react with the same fear as other types do (particularly 6s, the way they constantly imagine the worst-case scenario).
4's live in the worst-case scenario and we kind of like it. Isn't our self-recrimination really just a dark little comfort zone?
We live 1 story above hell. We remain afloat, even when there's sharks in the waters.
When we misuse our equanimity we become entirely self-absorbed. Other types without this virtue will do more in life to compensate. They will build social networks that keep their fears at bay, while they drift away from their center and they don't know who they are. 4's are the most self-aware, we know exactly who we are, and we have a way of staring the beast in the eye while other types are completely oblivious to the beast. They are living more integrated, protected lives.

My equanimity has made me self-destructive because I have misused it. My equanimity allows me to pull complete escapades, and get away with it.
So much experience in "getting my feelings hurt" has made me thick-skinned and emotionally fortified. I simply do not overreact to things the same way people around me do, I have a way of taking it all in stride no matter how much life sucks (unfortunately this makes me stagnant and resistant to change).
It gives me a sense of immortality -- I will leave my mark on the world that will definitely stand out and last beyond my death, no matter where I end up.
 
#43 ·
My weakness is my desire to feel accepted and close to others. I want it so badly that I fear how I will be perceived and judged, so I ultimately pull away from the very thing I desire. I act according to how I think I can make others comfortable, and in the meanwhile, that only accomplishes in people not getting to know my true myself. They only get a fragment of who I really am.

When I finally do allow myself to open up, it results in "info dump" and I am consumed by my own self-doubt of the conversation, which leads me to shut down and isolate myself. This leads to the loneliness of being an outcast and troubled by my own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I have this ambivalence towards myself.
 
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#46 ·
Ah, my biggest weakness is clear as glass to me.

I analyize everything until I literally invent new meaning or talk myself out of original commitments or create subtext for other people. Unruly emotions fuel this need to investigate and dissect almost everything for implied meaning. I have a real problem with people who aren't as emotionally transparent or willing to disclose as I am. Problem with that is most people don't come close to my willingness to be vulnerable. So I recklessly analyze anything vague or ambiguous until I am satisfied with the answer(s) I come up with (usually centered around perceived rejection) causing me to resent/abandon people without explanation.
 
#47 ·
Lack of motivation or clear direction in my life. At the the moment I'm still not sure about what meaning my life should have, I don't believe in an objective meaning of life (Unless of course you mean something like procreation) but I can't seem to find a subjective one either. Without any idea of what I'm doing, I've become unmotivated to do anything.
 
#49 ·
My inability to understand others' feelings. I've been known to steamroll over other people and push them away in my single-minded push towards getting what needs to be done, done. Friends have gotten frustrated with me for not caring about what they're feeling. If they say "I'm sad because my boyfriend broke up with me" I'm the type of person who will say something like "Well at least now you won't be distracted by him anymore" or "You probably shouldn't dwell on it." I've always been "tough" but it wasn't until I got to college that people started calling me "unfeeling." It was frustrating to realize that it's true too.
 
#50 ·
Insecurity! I feel sometimes insecure of myself because I have the fear that others could judge me negatively and that could hurt me!
I don't consider my sensibility a defect, even if it can contributes to increase the possibility to be hurt and so my insecurity in general! I consider it, instead, a point of strength because thanks of it I can feel everything in a deeper level, even if that means that I could feel negative emotions intensely!
My sensibility helps me also to be tactful with other persons because I know, on my own skin, how it's important to find the fair words\gestures\action to relate with them in order to not hurt themselves!
 
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#51 ·
A strength, but also one of my greatest weaknesses, are the values that I hold and follow. I'm so stubborn in my values and I feel almost personally offended when they are trampled on or otherwise disregarded. Things like bullying, devaluing women, or insulting groups of people because of their race or orientation - get me so worked up. I can become judgmental when I'm stressed out and it's almost never good. On top of that, I have a problem being a people-pleaser, which only accentuates the problem. I find myself watching as my values get stomped on, debating on whether to create a conflict or keep my own dissonance inside of me.

The problem lies that I hold up others, and also myself, to an almost unattainable standard. I desire goodness (type 1) not only in myself, but in those around me. I suppose I am too much of an idealist in this regard, longing for world of goodness and freedom - only to be reminded constantly of our shortcomings.
 
#52 ·
I have no idea about Enneagrams. They sound kind of hippy to me, as if they should be boxed up with astrology. Hah. But anyway I'm just here to say that my greatest weakness is presenting myself in front of groups in any kind of semi formal situation. Actually... any time when I feel there are too many eyes on me, I feel highly anxious. I'm socially quite capable and not a recluse at all, but when I feel pushed to the front of attention, the feeling of doom utterly engulfs me.
 
#53 ·
7w6
a clear vision of what exactly is required to get from where I am to where I want to go. long term stuff I can usually grasp pretty easily, but short term, details and specifics are all areas I struggle with. it's not that I'm bad at taking action, it's knowing what action to do in the first place (the fact that 7 integrates to 5 makes a lot of sense)
 
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#54 ·
A Fear of Failure- at work and/or relationships

I have a RIGID way of thinking and can now only learn new things by experiences and/or through experiences.

By 4w3 SX/SP
 
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#55 ·
One of my greatest weaknesses is getting blown off course. I have lots of trouble sometimes. I get distracted and try to do 20 different things all the time. I lose focus of where I am going and of what I'm doing. Most of the time I control it very well and can keep myself in grip and live with purpose and be very successful. I just get confused and feel totally bad not knowing what is going on. I am currently coming out from a few of these bad days.
 
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