[Enneagram Type 4] Question about 4 women

Question about 4 women

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  • 3 Post By AnneM
  • 1 Post By Felix 1f9
  • 2 Post By ultracrepidarian

This is a discussion on Question about 4 women within the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Dear Experts I am Swiss and have been interested in the Enneagram for two decades. I hope, my English is ...

  1. #1

    Question about type 4 women

    Dear Experts
    I am Swiss and have been interested in the Enneagram for two decades. I hope, my English is fine enough to put my following question in a comprehensive way. It's regarding stress and growth arrows of type 4. I am a 1f9, sp/sx.
    Now the question: I have been dating a few 4s during the last few years, with few I was in a relationship, some of them were just a short term attraction. Some with 5 wing, some with 3 wing. Some sx, some sc, some sp.
    I always felt the following: Their stress arrows always seem rather 1ish than 2ish. 4s - according to my own finding, can be strong, determined, only seemingly affectionate / needy, in their core mostly strong (8s have a soft core, hard shell - 4s have a hard core, soft shell - in general). But if it comes to stress, I never felt a 2-like energy with type 4. Why that?
    Maybe the 4s I knew weren't 4s, but 8s or 1s. I might confuse the 4 - 8 - 1, but then I think it over and come to the conclusion, that 4 is correct.
    Maybe the not-so-mature type 4 can show a certain aggressiv behaviour more often than the gut types 1 and 8 (1s want to avoid anger, 8s don't I know). But then, why I never feel the 2 in a 4? I know, that a healthy 4 develops the energy of the 1 in a not-aggressive, but in an authentic and mature, balanced way.
    Can some 4s (or other types) help me to clear up my mess :-).
    Thanks a lot!
    Last edited by Felix 1f9; 07-03-2019 at 08:35 AM. Reason: I shortened my text a bit



  2. #2

    Addition, in a nutshell:

    I seem to confuse the aggressive, resolute, self-determined energy of a type 1f2 sx and type 4f3 sx. How to distinguish them?

  3. #3
    Type 2w3

    I just want to say that, in my personal experience, the disintegration of 4s to 2 IS very 1-ish. They tend to want to help you and support you by preaching to you from a position of moral superiority and authority.
    Felix 1f9, Vikka and Aridela thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by AnneM View Post
    the disintegration of 4s to 2 IS very 1-ish.
    That might clear up my key confusion, thanks a lot. So "helping", but with a lot of "gut pression" as a proud 2. That makes sense.
    Last edited by Felix 1f9; 07-03-2019 at 07:26 AM.
    AnneM thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Random idea but.... a lot of 4's are IFP's. When IFP's shadow they can take on the darker qualities of ETJ's. So you see a lot of nitpicky perfectionism and angry rants about how others are incompetent (projection of Fi's volatile relationship to Te and their own incompetence) which takes on a very angry, 1-ish vibe. This isn't actually the 'motivation' but a lack of cognitive integration. So what you are seeing, might be cognitive rather than ego fixation.
    AnneM and Aridela thanked this post.


     

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