Hey all, I was wondering if I could get some input on whether I'm 4w3 or 4w5. The part that resonates with me the most about 4w3 is that they're passionate and competitive. I used to think that I really wasn't competitive, but then I realized that I acted outwardly chill because I would get so competitive when I indulged myself that it became unhealthy. I also really relate to the fact that 4w3s can have somewhat of a fluid personality. I'm pretty good at figuring out what will or won't fly in a group, and then hiding what might make me stand out as weird. I guess I'm not very good at actively becoming another person, but I'm self-aware enough to tone it down when I'm around people whom I sense won't appreciate my quirks as much. I hate the fact that I can't be myself, though, and I think it really negatively impacts me when I'm not doing something consistent with what I love. I just feel unsettled and upset with myself and the world.
The part about the 4w5 that appeals to me the most is how introspective and intellectual they are. I love abstract theories, and I spend a lot of time reading history and philosophy. If I could, I would spend all my time having abstract debates or discussing hypothetical and philosophical situations. I think a lot about what is meaningful in the world, and how that relates to me. I don't think I'm as dark as 4w5s are described to be, though -- I am going through a rough patch right now, but for the most part I appreciate beauty and optimism, even though I also would agree that there's profound beauty to sadness.
If it matters at all, I think that my MBTI is INFP, though the bit about an INTP needing to find logic in the world really resonates with me as well.
Thanks for your help!