This is a discussion on 3w4 and 4w3: what's the difference? within the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Originally Posted by CandyStarlight This is from my experience as a 3w4: I'm very artistic, but the way I go ...
Socialism is the only path into the future!
If we can not have equality, we will not settle for second best! (because there is no second place!, there's only one world, one life!)
Karl Marx's theories were all right and are now coming true!
There is nothing to stop the tidal wave from unfolding!
We are all one!
The future is not only in the hands of a select few anymore!
Viva Le REVOLUTION
3w4 will put their agenda before their feelings.
4w3 will sort through their feelings before working on their agenda.
Quotes from Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type DescriptionsThe 3w4 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w4 exclusive, more unique and original, just out of reach and admired from a distance. 3w4s are more aloof, more melanchonlic and icy cool. They tend to romanticize the hard work needed to get to top when no one was looking: "the dignity that is in work"(Obama). They are about putting their best foot forward in a more professional dignified manner. As one poster put it:
"The 3w4 romanticising of “hard work” is really the keen awareness of the image/reality dichotomy – it’s about “everything you don’t see” – the work it takes to “appear as though there is no effort involved” – it’s about knowing “what it takes”; that sense of bittersweetness every time someone gives you a compliment. It’s the secret you keep of everything you’re not – of how you’ve had to become, but that no one else will ever know. It’s the steely, gracious and enigmatic smile as you walk on stage, thinking about “what it’s taken to get here”. That’s the 3w4 romanticism of hard work. That sense of being born with leaden feet, but having overcome it with nothing but willpower and desire, to take to flight as though always born with great and golden wings."4w3s are marked by multiple dichotomies due to types 3 and 4 being opposites in so many ways: inferior/superior, being/becoming, self-conscious/confident, putting themselves down/glorifying themselves, withdrawn/assertive, emotional/flatlined, reactive/cool-headed, mired in the past/focused on moving forward, awkward/poised, fragile/resilient, easily discouraged/do whatever it takes, rejecting the game/conquering the game. While they will put up countershame smokescreens to get your attention and see if you are perceptive enough to see and accept the real them underneath, they may seem distant to even close ones to keep up appearances. Ideally they'd have a rich emotional life without having the ugliest parts of themselves exposed.
Underneath a 4w3's more fluid identity their 4ness gives them an awareness of something truer and deeper within themselves that roots everything. Their 3 wing precludes people from seeing fully what is inside them including even themselves. However they know their personal awareness anchor is there no matter where their changeability takes them. They know on a deeper level their fluctuations stem back to a single consistent essence. Still, they wonder if they are fooling themselves. Despite their consistent underlying essence they lead an inconsistent life and wonder if they are being true to themselves. They try to balance selling themselves out in the real world with hanging out amongst the "keeping it real" crowd. They are more likely to go the distance in their career due to their three wing before their fourness causes them to sabotage themselves. In extreme cases 4w3s totally give up on life after finally "making it".
I dated a 3w4 and I'm a 4w3. I'm coming at an angle from experience, not at all saying that all 3w4s are this way. She was not healthy.
She was less authentic, more caring about appearing perfect, and there was a general "falseness" about her motivations. She knew how to get what she wanted and went after it like a shark. Smooth, charismatic, and a bit of a "suck-up" to people. Generally the disingenuous attitude she had made me feel uncomfortable, because I knew her and I could see through it.
4s feel more authentic and spontaneous. All 3s I know are controlled, polished and always feel a little inauthentic and fake.
4s also all have that feeling of inadequacy and insecurity, that is always part of their image. 4s feel like they don't belong, they're not as good as others, something is different about them - but that's what makes them special and sets them apart from everyone. It's that weird 4ish mix of inferiority and superiority. "I am not as good as everyone else, but special and unique, and that's what makes me better than them"
and the 3 wing just makes them want to show that to the world and get recognition for it.
4s also are way more - authentically - emotional than 3s. They go inward into their emotions to figure out who they really are. And then, if they have a 3 wing, they want to express that to others.
A 3w4 doesn't feel any sense of inferiority or inadequacy, at least not consciously. A 3 is always "amazing! a great guy!" in their own mind. They are successful, well liked, get things done, good looking, tasteful - but they are all that in their own original way. They have some of these 4ish image traits, such as being original, creative, emotional - but only in a positive way, a 3 will not likely have a negative self-image. They might try to be successful and achieve their goals in their own, personal, unique way, but it's not in any way an authentic expression of their true self; it's a fassade.
A 3w4 is a success-driven achiever who puts on a fassade that looks (!) authentic, original and personal, but there is little connection to actual emotions and authenticity.
I would think a 4w3 is more interested in expressing their true self, a 3w4 would be more interested in the image they project.
I've recently started questioning my being a 4w5, and from the replies I got so far from people 3w4 seems probable.
Anyone interested in typing me please follow the link https://personalitycafe.com/whats-my-...stionaire.html
Thanks in advance.
4s generelly create their image by going inside; to their emotions, fantasies, thoughts, hopes, dreams, longings etc. They hope to find their "true self" by delving into all that stuff.
3s don't seem to believe that there is a "true self within"; that would restrict them too much, 3s are "self made", they create their image with their actions and achievments. I am what I do, I am what I achieve.
What they do might be more personal and be more about style, creativity, emotions etc. if they have a 4wing, but their image is still based on their achievments, not on what they feel, dream about or what they long for.