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Favorite/least favorite types?

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This is a discussion on Favorite/least favorite types? within the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; ...

  1. #11

    IRL, my favorite people to interact with are definitely 7w6s: they're a whole lot of fun, and are a lot zanier and more random than I am, which is cool because they're great at putting me in a good mood. You really, really can't help but like 7w6s, and they really, really can't help but make your day better. 7w8s are awesome to make plans with, since we tend to know exactly what we'd all like to do and how to go about it, but all the 7w8s I know (myself included) have gigantic egos which clash if there are too many of us in the same room. 7w6s are all of the fun, none of the ego, which is great. However, 7w8s will do crazier shit with you, so you can feel free to get wild and fuck shit up. Plus, the subtle power games they play can be a lot of fun (unlike with 8w7s, who are more overt, take it more seriously and don't work it into a positive atmosphere), and the fact that we share a lot of interests and the same outlook means that it's easier for me to hang out with 7w8s for a lengthy stretch of time than with 7w6s. All in all, both types of sevens are the best people to party with, since we're all focused on having fun and keeping our moods up.

    I get along pretty well with 3s, since we also have a similar mindset and drive. Difference is, threes are a lot more single minded and focused than I am (focus is an understatement; 3s literally seem like they only have one thing on their minds at all times). So, I'd say 3s make awesome people to work with, and are great to have around in professional settings, but aren't as able to let loose and go crazy in a more casual environment. I get along better with 3w2s than 3w4s on a personal level, simply because 3w2s are more engaging and fun, while 3w4s are more stolid and hyper-professional. However, I find it easier to learn from 3w4s, as they like to display their competence much more, which makes it easier to replicate. With 3w4s, it's more of an "arm's distance" relationship, where we have mutual respect but are not overly friendly.

    I have a love/hate relationship with 8s; we either get along really, REALLY well, and we always have the same outlook, goals, and attitude (8s just tend to be more serious versions of me), or we clash completely and can't stand each other. However, 8s remain my favorite type to do business with; absolutely no bullshit, just bottom line, "what can you offer me" frankness and openness. I get along better with 8w9s than 8w7s, since 8w7s have bigger egos and make more overt power plays, which turns into athing between us which leads to a lot of friction, while 8w9s are more content to just chill and make sure their boundaries are being respected. However, 8w7s are more tolerable and awesome to be around in smaller doses, since they're dynamic and more likely to make something interesting happen. 8w9s are the reverse; rather unassuming in small doses, but awesome to have around a lot.

    Twos have a lot of irritating traits, but one of my best friends is a 2w3, so I can certainly get along really well with them. Twos can actually look like sevens if you don't know them too well; they've got the same extroversion and charm, and the same desire to be around people. However, once you get closer, the differences are obvious. I find twos to be very other directed and very, very sensitive to what people are thinking about them, while I'm more focused on my own experiences and getting what I want, and don't care about what people think unless their negative perceptions will get in the way of what I want. They try and take on a "parent" role, which is definitely irritating, much more so than 8w7 power grabs because they play an emotional game that I don't like to fuck around with unless I gain from it somehow. They are also really, really fucking delusional; they find it nearly impossible to see their role in making bad things happen to them, and consequently, take on a martyr complex that results in them not learning from their mistakes and thus, repeating them and complaining about it, which feeds into this idea, which becomes a vicious cycle. However, twos are pretty great at networking and keeping in touch with people, so it's really easy to keep them around, and it's also easy to keep in touch with mutual friends through them, without having to actually talk to them all the time. By contrast, I'm great at getting people to like me a lot and want to be around me, but I'm terrible at keeping in touch once the juice is gone and I've moved somewhere else. They're also really easy to connect with, and can become very good friends to have around.

    I like nines because they're genuinely chill (Type 9 is the typical stoner, lol), but it's hard to make things happen with a lot of nines around. They're great to relax with, and are willing to let me take the lead without much fuss, but too many nines leads to very little getting done and a lot of boredom on my part.

    Fours are way, way too emotionally intense for me; I like how easy it is to connect with them, but they're too comfortable with negativity and sadness, which clashes with my desire to keep the mood up and focused on making things happen. I'm naturally very solution-oriented, so hearing about bad feelings without being able to solve the problem and move on to something happier gets on my nerves. I don't mind them, but there's too much negativity for me to like being around them for very long. I'll listen to your problems, but don't come to me for sympathy or venting, come to me for solutions. You can vent all you like, of course, as long as we can get to solving the problem and moving on eventually. I'm definitely not a "feelings" guy.

    Funny enough, I can't think of any clear ones or fives I know IRL, but I would guess that I'd heavily clash with ones in action, since I tend towards amorality and hedonism in my day to day life and with my goals and outlook, which is the complete opposite of how ones prefer to do things. I'd probably get along very well with both in discussions, as these types have the most philosophical tendencies, and thus, likely to provide very stimulating conversations. With ones, it'd become about ideals, while with fives, it'd be more about actualities. So, I'd have a lot of fun debating with ones over what is or isn't ideal, whether or not something is practical, and also deconstructing their ideals to the point where I'd be able to convince them to see things my way (usually, my response to people who criticize me on moral grounds is a "beyond good and evil" speech, which is always a lot of fun), while hearing some interesting counterpoints in the process. With fives, I'd have fun deconstructing the world around us and revealing its meaninglessness and/or the foolishness of society's conventions and the people who make it up. I'd probably take a more existentialist perspective, though, and say that whether it means anything or not, I may as well live by my own standards and enjoy my time to the maximum, while fives strike me as being more likely not to get past the whole "but what's the point" part of it.

    It's cliché, but the people who tend to get under my skin the most often IRL are sixes. Sixes are a lot more conscientious and by-the-book than I am, and we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. They also find it harder to just let go and enjoy themselves, and often ruin a good time by being too suspicious and prone to overreact to perceived disrespect. By contrast, eights generally just raise an eyebrow and let it defuse on its own, preferring to hint at their strength and using their assumed power to make people back down, while a six is more likely to go for a full reaction and cause it to escalate unnecessarily (I've found that eights get quieter and quieter as things go down, and get this really defiant look on their faces that pretty much just says "come at me, bro", while sixes tend to get louder and louder, constantly escalating and overreacting, or saying nothing and suddenly striking out of nowhere). They also get mad about things which I really can't bring myself to give a shit about, and then, get mad that I don't care, while I tend to say "it's not a big deal" automatically, which understandably pisses them off. The projection is a big annoyance, too, as they accuse you of bullshit and read motivations into you that you clearly don't have. Finally, they also have a victim mentality similar to twos, except that it's a persecution complex rather than a martyr one. They genuinely believe people are targeting them, so they act in ways which alienate people, which leaves them isolated and makes people target them. However, what I like about sixes is that they will go out of their way to help their friends, even more so than twos, who rationalize not helping you when it doesn't suit them by telling themselves they already do enough for everyone. Also, a determined six has the ability to rally people together like no other, because they find it easy to speak for the group and naturally pay attention to ways people are being abused and/or exploited. And hey, I was raised by a six, so clearly they did something right.

    So, as far as IRL interactions go:

    7w6 > 7w8 > 3w2 > 8w9 = 8w7 (at the best of times) > 9 > 2 > 3w4 > 4 > 6 > 8w7 (at the worst of times)

  2. #12
    Type 7w6

    I wrote this some time ago:

    Ok, this is my rate [from 0 to 10] with interaction with others enneagrams type:
    1 (so as dominant) + 4 = 5
    I can't stand the attitude of some enneagram type 1, specially if so. So 1 can be seen as very insightful people since they are extremely idealistic and they have their own ideas of what should be done to get the world better. I enjoy that... The source of problem is their stupid/arrogant/dumb as attitude. They want others to act according their standards of right.. however that is something entirely subjective to everybody. The other thing i find funny is their criticism toward others... they expect to safe the world from everybody apart from their self. So, are you going to save the world from your own attitude? Think about it, dear 1....

    1 (sx as dominant) + 4 = 2
    Ok, this is a combination I don't find absolutely attractive. Why? Because sx 1 put their criticism toward other. I hate that. It kinda looks like they are trying to fix their partner and reform it to their own idea of perfection. I find sx 1 kinda lame, cause in the end they are extremely vulnerable and emotional, but they prefer to show it with reforming their partner. I use to say «if you can't handle my worst you will not have my best».

    2 + 4 = 6
    One of my best friend in a 2 and I like the way they move towards others; with that friendly and *ready to help* attitude. In fact, when healthy, 2's are extremely helpful characters: they will try to help you in a genuine way. So smile to 2's . The source of problem gets when they start acting in a manipulative way. Let me explain... 2s look for their own value in others [that's why it's the stressing point of 4] ; they can get angry because of any criticism and correction to their work [they will move to the 8]; as 2s get more and more unhealthy they will get manipulative *I did this to you, so it's your turn to make something to me...* and this bothers me.

    3 + 4 = 1
    Ok, I have to confess that 3s get the hell out of me. I find them extremely annoying, attention-whore, manipulative, spoiled-children, ... 3s want to be admired and they will do anything to be successful: This is the 1st thing that annoys me. 3s can be manipulative to get their goals achieve, so in other words they don't bother to use you just to get their job done. I can't stand their arrogance and their attitude of *Look at me, Look at me* - i do this cause i believe that we are all the same thing, there is absolutely nothing that makes me more special than you; Besides this, i find 3s very forced and not so that genuine (in particular 3w2). I mean, even the way some 3s talk annoys me, it's like they are acting and hiding her true self to be accepted and admired and in the end they will want to be the model - I refuse to admire 3s and give them the attention they want. other thing, many 3w4 manipulated me to say exacly what they want. One particular 3w4 used to manipulate people to say he was beautiful and handsome and that is extremely annoying to me. *Show picture* 'What about this one, what do you find attractive?' NOTHING, grow up. Why do you think 3s, when unhealthy, can make the most murderous thing? Cause they just seek attention - something that i wouldn't give to them.

    4 + 4 = 8
    This combination brings a good outcome in my opinion. 4s will understand each other... and the sharing experiences with other 4s can be terrifying: it looks like a copy of your own life. Even with 4w5 (that aren't so that open with feelings) i find it very joyful cause i can understand what they are feeling and that is something positive. The worst that can happen is the relationship become a race for *Who is more special and unique?* This is something that can happen and if it does things get nasty... One thing that I don't appreciate on 4s is the *plying victim* This is what turns me off. But in fact 4s have a tendency to be very emotional and that can bring an over-reacted suffering towards negative experience. But still I can understand 4s who act like that.

    4 + 5 = 7
    I like 5's a lot - what fascinates me about them - its their big curiosity. They want to search and explore and discover and when healthy are extremely insightful: So yeah, 5's are amazing creatures. I also enjoy their honesty and they little concern with social niceties and fakes. In my opinion the source of problem is the way they can be reversed with their emotions... In tritype, 3-5-x turns me off. The 3 mixed with 5 gets nasty in my opinion - these 5 is very formal and i find formal things brain-killing.

    6 (sx/so) + 4 = 3 usually, sx 6s are more conter-phobic... So they will face their fears and anxieties, in place running from them. I had in the past many conflicts with these combination... Sx 6s seek power and being in control... Sometimes they can be so annoying in my opinion *Look at me - hiding my fear and try to be brave and courageous* Nahh - as a 4 I like genuine and clear people - not fakes or clowns who put a mask on their real self. Besides the way sx 6s dominate their environment can be somewhat over-tyrannical and, with the 6 has a wing 7 - i will find it too vulgar. As a 4 i like being unique and way from vulgar and ordinary situations.. Things that 6's bring a lot.

    6w7 (so as dominant) + 4 = 2
    Ok, this is one combination that i don't enjoy in 50% of cases. However, there are plenty of exceptions to 6s. In general, 6w7 with social as dominant bring unity and put other together - and I don't know why but I always feel rejected toward those ones. It's something I can't avoid feeling. I am the black sheep.

    7 + 4 = 9
    I love 7s and that's all said. In the past I have mistaken 7s with 6w7 (so)... My fault XD

    8 + 4 = 7
    n general I get quiet good along with 8s.. Specially healthy ones. When healthy, 8s are very helpful and protective - so you will always feel safe close to one. The other thing I appreciate in them its their courage and their diplomacy.

    9 + 4 = 8
    Nothing much to say here, I love the way 9's accept people for what they are.

    At the moment I consider my favorite types: So 4, Sx 7, So 7, So 2, So 8.
    Least favorite type: Sx 8, Sx 5, Sx 3, So 5, So 3.

  3. #13
    Type 4w3

    1: Not sure if I have been close enough with any 1s to comment on this. But I can relate to the idea of believing in a moral code. When I set my own rules of conduct I follow them strictly. The difference between me and 1s is that I'm not supposing this is a code meant for everyone, nor am I afraid to challenge it. Usually once I've decided something is "right for me" I've tested or explored many alternatives. Still, I have nothing but respect for those who are dedicated to a principle and will stand up for it. Especially if they're healthy 1s and let me poke at their theories with respect. :)

    2: It's very hard for me to put myself in the shoes of a 2. A friend of mine is a 2 and she is warm and sweet and objectively I can see she would be a great partner for someone who wants to be loved, but I don't think I would do very well to date a 2. I would always feel like a jerk for depriving them of the attention they deserve. :/

    3: Mmm.. complicated. I'm all about alter-egos, choosing to be who you want to be, managing your image, and accomplishing goals. Costumes & personae make sense to me :) But I don't have an ounce of competitiveness in me, except in the setting of games or fantasy. The minute the competition gets outside of a game/ fiction setting it makes me uneasy. I suppose I do well with 3s as long as they're not competing with me. Once a 3 decides to "outdo me" by belittling me, or to be offended by my intensity in my own work, goodbye. (Also sometimes "What do you intend to DO with this project??" gets annoying because I want to finish my work before I think about publishing, recording, showing off, etc.) I do enjoy going out with 3s because they get all the attention and I can blend into the background. :) But 3s don't usually hang around me because they're busy climbing the social ladder and I'm not even on the ladder: I'm hiding under the ladder, or peeking through the ladder, or something.

    4: 4s are some of the most intriguing, inspiring people I know. Sometimes I used to run into problems because I would present my logical point of view about their conundrums, and they took offense. Once I realized they don't want to be fixed but they just want to share the sentiment, it was much easier.... I can lose myself in a conversation with a 4 the way I lose myself listening to beautiful music.

    5: A close relationship or friendship between two 5s is untouchable. Before it occurred to me that someone has to pay the bills, answer the phone, go to the grocery store, and initiate physical contact, I used to think this would be an ideal marriage or romance. Now I know better.

    6: Probably the best friends I have are 6's? It takes a while to get close to a 6 and I like that.... there's no presumption that we're best friends and they know everything about me, day one. I find the friendships with 6s to be very solid and lasting. It would be difficult to have a romantic relationship with a 6 - they like to do things with their partner and I like to do things by myself quite often. I think I would either go out of my way to please the 6 until I just felt overwhelmed and dumped him; or I would make the 6 feel unloved and unhappy until he dumped me.

    7: In theory, the constant thirst for "newness" of 7 seems superficial and distasteful to me. However, in real life, one of my closest friends is a 7, and she makes me insanely happy and, while she will help me to see the positive side of things and try to pull me out of an isolated rut, she will never trivialize my intellectual banter. More importantly, 7s are not offended by my lack of involvement. By the time I've texted, emailed, or called to reply "no, I'm going to stay home and write today" they have already lined up 5 other options for plans, and they're not offended. So it ends up working beautifully as a friendship!

    8: Relationships are not my strong suite but I think my best romantic relationship match would be with 8s. (In theory!) My strong 4 wing and sexual subtype contribute to this, I think - I'm quite lusty for a 5. But 5s and 8s have existentially similar ways of viewing the world, both love a good debate, and both are mindful of personal space and boundaries. The "opposites attract" principle is employed here... the 8 draws me out of my mind and into my body, and I give the 8 objectivity and mental calm. More importantly, I need the other person to make all the moves because I'm so shy.. 8s are perfect for that. More than once I've wondered whether the reason I'm perpetually single is because I rarely leave the house and it's hard to meet an 8 on computer. :p

    9: 9s are easy to get along with and lovely. It's a bit of a problem for 5s though. I can respect someone else's needs and emotions but I need them to be spelled out. If someone appears happy and agreeable, I'm not likely to poke them and ask what they REALLY want and how they're REALLY feeling - since I would not want someone to do that to me. So if a 9 is unhappy or needs something, and they don't tell me, they will continue to be unhappy with me and I'll never know why. :(
    mushr00m and Choice thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    Type 4

    Favourite types:

    1w2 - I admire their honesty and I find them very good hearted, often interisting, active,and can be very funny.
    8s- I like their straightforward manners, their energy,their resilience, and their innocence , I see them as anti- machiavellian.. They are often funny, as well.
    5s- specially 5w4, in my opinion, they have good qualities of both, the head and head triad, when healthy: intellectual,curious, anti-conventional,ironic, but also senstive, respectful and empathetic ( I think they can be empathetic even when they are in a withdrawn mode, but they disconnect because feel overwhelmed.

    Least favourites:

    7s- I find people of this style very funny to be around, but tend to not exhibit characteristics that make me want to have a close relationship with them . I see them unempathetic, extremely selfish,opportunistic, and always in the receiving end of any relationship,they use to act with an excessive sense of entitlement and don't respect boundaries.When I've tried to go closer to one, I have ended up burned out and saddened, hurt, and I felt very used.I still have to find healthy people of this type , because I think the ones I've known were low- average to unhealthy.

    3s- When unhealthy, it is annoying for me that they aren't aware that what they are is far more interesting that what they want to appear to be.

    4s- As a 4w5 myself, I admire healthy fours, they are empathetic,creative, compassionate, interesting,curious, can be funny,and make good friends. But when low average-unhealthy... we can be a hell of a company, I recognize that: bitter, depressing,needy,draining... and the sad experience is that I think that is really hard to overcome a fourish style to achive high levels of health.

    With the rest of types, depends a lot on the person: 2s Are the sweetests when healthy, but can be very manipulative and bad intentioned when unhealthy
    I get along with 6s very well, specially 6w7, but when they are in a dogmatic counterphobic mode, I cannot deal with them, I end up as crazy as with other fours, or more... I get along with 9s as well, but intimacy is dificult with them in my case.
    Animal thanked this post.

  6. #15
    Type 7w6

    Quote Originally Posted by Erica Xenne View Post
    4: 4s are some of the most intriguing, inspiring people I know. Sometimes I used to run into problems because I would present my logical point of view about their conundrums, and they took offense. Once I realized they don't want to be fixed but they just want to share the sentiment, it was much easier.... I can lose myself in a conversation with a 4 the way I lose myself listening to beautiful music.
    This is right Unfortunately the 5s that I deal with haven't yet realized this : /
    wk05 thanked this post.

  7. #16
    Type 4w3


    Maybe its my 4 wing ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_Rebirth View Post
    This is right Unfortunately the 5s that I deal with haven't yet realized this : /
    DomNapoleon thanked this post.

  8. #17
    Type 7

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Romantic View Post
    "7w8s I know (myself included) have gigantic egos which clash if there are too many of us in the same room"
    Hmm, could you give an example of how you lot might clash? And what do you mean by gigantic egos? Just selfishness / tendency to boss?
    Dark Romantic thanked this post.

  9. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiktin View Post
    Hmm, could you give an example of how you lot might clash?
    It's hard to explain exactly what it is; it's more of a subtle jockeying for position among each other that can take a number of forms. It's more of an energy thing combined with body language and speech patterns that you'll see; tension in the air that ends up erupting due to two personalities trying to fill the same niche.

    And what do you mean by gigantic egos? Just selfishness / tendency to boss?
    Yes, exactly.
    Choice thanked this post.

  10. #19
    Type 7w6

    My favourites are healthy and aware types.

    My least favourites are unhealthy and ignorant types. Also 10w0's.
    firedell and ImminentThunder thanked this post.

  11. #20
    Type 6w7

    Quote Originally Posted by Spades View Post
    My favourites are healthy and aware types.

    My least favourites are unhealthy and ignorant types. Also 10w0's.
    Those 10w0's... just wow. I heard their fear is to actually live.
    Brian1, ImminentThunder and Spades thanked this post.

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