How Do You Tease Apart 3w4 from 4w3
Originally Posted by devono
I definitely didn't mean to give you the impression I don't care what people think about me at all. I want so badly to be a famous and celebrated writer. Scribbling away in a garret will never make me happy or even content unless I get readers and awards and the power that goes along with them. I actually wish I were less ambitious because really what are the chances I'll achieve all of that? So yeah, I'd say I'm concerned about what people think about me in my own way.
Also, I did used to care a lot more about what people thought about me in general. Then one day in my early 20s I realized I was making the choice to care. I took awhile but now when I start to worry about what someone else is thinking about me I just ask myself if the person who's potentially judging me really matters and the answer is almost always no. So I guess I have gotten healthier when it comes to that particular issue.
Oh, and in terms of caring about my looks - when I get attention for my appearance it's not about me or who I am as a person, it's just about my exterior. That's why I don't find it to be satisfying.
I think in terms of instinctual variant that the fact that I don't worry much anymore about what people think about me (unless it's someone I'm close to) might have something to do with having very little so. When I'm drawn to someone I definitely care about whether or not they like me, and if it's romantic I care about whether or not they find me attractive. It's just that that doesn't happen that often. My sx is focused on putting myself in situations I find stimulating and most of the time other people don't stimulate me so they exist outside of my bubble. But I'm very passionate about the things I find interesting, including Enneagram, which is why I may have reacted a bit stridently to your post. I hope it didn't seem like I was insulting you, I was just trying to point out there were other ways of being a 4w3.
Also, I might have gotten over this particular issue but unfortunately there are a lot of ways in which I am still unhealthy. I think that's probably true for a lot of people - they are healthy sometimes and not healthy other times.