[INFJ] I don't know my worth? - Page 2

I don't know my worth?

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This is a discussion on I don't know my worth? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by halfamazing @ pessimistic kid I am going to be brutally honest here but not so much against ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
    @pessimistic kid

    I am going to be brutally honest here but not so much against you. I will get to your post in a moment but before I do, I must say that PerC and all online forums are truly one of the worst places for most evolving INFJs in your situation. Matter of fact, it's even bad for me. You would think that one would find more "counselors" around providing developmental aid to the less developed. Instead, we are met with superficial self-reflect responses in which it only describes the person. I have the opposite problem in that I have been exposed to so much external perception, that I don't have anyone build with me. It's even lonelier for someone who has all this social intelligence but has nobody to really build with- especially with everyone being virtual land and having no real world social interaction. I can't go to the other sections because I am met with so many T types who only deal with facts and little to no emotion.

    But on to you now....

    Here is what I picked up in your post that I found interesting:

    "This post might seem like another whining about life from a feeble young adult. But I am really looking for a serious advise one final time".

    "Before you say, just do what you feel like, if you can't do this then try something else.
    But the point is, what is the point if I .... can't shoot for the stars to be even able to land on the moon".

    As an INFJ, I am baffled by the fact that you would even feel this way, especially in an INFJ thread..

    In order to understand self-worth, you must audit yourself. Write the answers down here: I DON'T WANT SUPERFICIAL ANSWERS- i WANT REAL HARD LINE ANSWERS.

    Who do you spend the most time with? Not just spend time with but actually connect with?
    What social topics of interest do you most connect with?
    What hobbies do you most connect with? (not necessarily are involved in but are fascinated with)
    How would your friends describe you? (be honest)
    How would your family describe you? (be honest)
    What makes you excited?
    Who in your life makes you excited and what about them excites you?
    What famous person excites and what about them, to include their style, their fashion, and abilities makes you excited?

    Answer those questions and only then will be able to create a road map.

    First and foremost, Thank you for reverting back to my message and here so promptly. :)

    You would think that one would find more "counselors" around providing developmental aid to the less developed. Instead, we are met with superficial self-reflect responses in which it only describes the person.
    I so agree with you! But then sometimes there are also some people like you whose responses are really enlightening!

    I have the opposite problem in that I have been exposed to so much external perception, that I don't have anyone build with me. It's even lonelier for someone who has all this social intelligence but has nobody to really build with- especially with everyone being virtual land and having no real world social interaction. I can't go to the other sections because I am met with so many T types who only deal with facts and little to no emotion.
    And I SO get you! I have realised this no matter how much empathy one has, he just can not put himself in someone else's shoes specially in this virtual land.

    As an INFJ, I am baffled by the fact that you would even feel this way, especially in an INFJ thread..
    Well I was feelin I ws bohterin people here as well.


    Anyways, answering your questions

    Who do you spend the most time with? Not just spend time with but actually connect with?
    Right now no one, you can read my other threads to get some gist why. I am closest to my mum though But I am living with my grandparents.

    What social topics of interest do you most connect with?
    I would say historical, philosophical, and latest scientific discoveries as well.

    What hobbies do you most connect with? (not necessarily are involved in but are fascinated with)
    Most one is watching and playing football(soccer). Others are star gazing, moon gazing, readinchess,reading

    How would your friends describe you?
    Right now, really moody and self-absorbed and eccentric and weak. Other wise, helping, good natured, good looking, cute,competitive.

    How would your family describe you? (be honest)
    highly Sensitive, good,caring, good at heart, a kid who is ruining away from responsibilities.

    What makes you excited?
    right now, nothin but otherwise my stupid dreams. Dreamin of bein successfull.

    Who in your life makes you excited and what about them excites you?
    Champions in the thins I think I can excel as well excite me. I bein n underdog want to give them tough fight like rocky.

    What famous person excites and what about them, to include their style, their fashion, and abilities make you excited?
    Cristiano Ronaldo. his skills, his fame, his hard work.


    These are my real answers, regardless of my condition. :P
    Last edited by pessimistic kid; 04-25-2017 at 11:29 AM.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by FaintStar View Post
    Wonderfully done!

    I come to PC because I don't want to show my vulnerable self to others in the real world. I find some solace in reading good advice from some members....and some good laughs...it is better than not having anything. However, definitely not the place to come if I am going to kill myself as I want someone in front of me to hold me and stop my pain.

    I like the T threads because I love analysis, talking about other T related things or to understand T people even more (I like to understand people regardless of their types). There are many members who are T and even if the majority may not be able to help me through the painful things, a few can...

    In the end, the saying is "even this shall pass". It's about weathering the storm because down the road, you will let yourself again immerse into things and when the storm comes again, you can tell yourself it is another scar to bear. You will work through the pain with interests and close friends/family..and you will find ways to move on again.
    Is it painful? Yes, utterly painful.
    However, if you haven't gone through it, will you ever be able to console anyone else? No


    Is this forum a replacement for friends in person ? Absolutely not. However, if the world prefers to head to this virtual world rather than work on making true honest close friendships, then people like us have to deal with it as best as we can. I asked a question on friendship in a different thread and already see the pattern. All humans have emotions...and they deal with those emotions in different ways. However, no human hates to be with other humans unless something has triggered that. I doubt that a recluse becomes one because he doesn't like humans. It's probably because he doesn't find people who he can truly connect with (not discussing mental disorders here).

    When I read the question in this thread, I realise that people define their "worth" in different ways.
    I define mine in serving the poor...regardless of whether I am in pain, a failure, etc.
    Now, if I define my self worth to be the 2nd Steve Jobs, or another Warren Buffet, well then, I have to understand that if I fail, I need to deal with it appropriately. It's not a guarantee.
    Trying isn't bad..however, just because I try doesn't guarantee me success ALL THE TIME.

    Also another point @pessimistic kid - "looking for serious advice one last time"....
    Why should it be the last time? One should always look for ideas/suggestions to solve an issue..it should never be the "last time" as you never know if you might have an even better answer the next time you ask.
    Thank you so much FaintStar.:)

    "last time", i said this because I ws feelin I ws boterin people here as well.

  3. #13
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Right now no one, you can read my other threads to get some gist why. I am closest to my mum though But I am living with my grandparents.

    I would say historical, philosophical, and latest scientific discoveries as well.

    Most one is watching and playing football(soccer). Others are star gazing, moon gazing, readinchess,reading

    Right now, really moody and self-absorbed and eccentric and weak. Other wise, helping, good natured, good looking, cute,competitive.

    highly Sensitive, good,caring, good at heart, a kid who is ruining away from responsibilities.

    right now, nothin but otherwise my stupid dreams. Dreamin of bein successfull.

    Champions in the thins I think I can excel as well excite me. I bein n underdog want to give them tough fight like rocky.

    Cristiano Ronaldo. his skills, his fame, his hard work.
    @pessimistic kid

    WoW! I am really impressed! You are just as normal as everyone else. You actually replied with substance and quality. For a moment there I was worried and really thought you really had no self worth.. The only problem you have is your environment and situations that have conditioned you. Also, you haven't tapped into the realm of social networking. As a result, you have become addicted to toxicity because you don't have stimulation- and for another secret reason I will explain below. You want to be stimulated and would do anything for a taste of success. You really don't want to be where you are and you are begging for relief. Unlike others, you are READY! I guarantee you that if I really went deep into your life and started picking at your core, you would resist and all of a sudden, you would begin defending your actual worth. I have read your posts and you have a tendency to defend your worth without realizing it. (I can see your eyes lighting up right now) Despite what you hear or see, the 1% is real!!

    #1- The hard truth PK- right now, there is no more time for star gazing and moon gazing. That moon gazing time you should be researching career possibilities and areas that will create more self-worth for you. You are 23 and time is still on your side. So relax, take a breather, and start focusing. It's ok to feel, anxiety, nervous, and guilt. It only means you are alive.

    #2- You clearly have a relationship with your mum and fragile grandfather. This means that every week, at least once a week, you will be the man of the family and take them somewhere. Each week, show your mum something new that you have discovered in the world of philosophy, science, and history. Talk to her about Chandragupta Maurya (0340 BC). From there, this will help your develop your teaching skills so that you can take those skills and apply them to smaller groups, and eventually have your own PK seminars. You can't tell me that all of your science, philosophical, and historical discoveries are going to waste? Let me find out you have all this information and you are keeping it for yourself and not sharing it like the powerful INFJ that you are... Are you kidding me? Go out and teach it DUDE! I am sure it drives you crazy at the way that you are being instructed in school. I am sure you know better ways inside your head but are afraid to tell the instructor. it's ok, I do it too.

    #3- You will go out once a week to a club, or peer-group society and immerse yourself with these groups. Get involved in various groups from philosophy, science, corporation, etc. Learn about Amazon and how it works inside- the areas that most people don't know. It doesn't mean to participate and become friends right away. The idea is to learn about people and what they are doing. Observe from a far until you feel ready to interact. Dissect their characters and analyze what is going through their heads. Figure them out quietly. Only step in when they need your help because you know they will need it :)

    #4 You are cute, good looking, competitive, self-absorbed, eccentric, wise, helping, good-natured. Are you describing yourself or Cristiano Ronaldo hahaha... I bet I look better in jeans than you do.. (You get my point, no need to say more )

    #5 So.. You want to be successful, you like being the underdog, you want to give a tough fight... Wait! What happened to the sad, worthless, pessimistic kid???? Whatever happened to the soft weak boy? The reality, PK doesn't exist. Secretly, in a convoluted, twisted sense, you relish the feeling of being the underdog. You love the climb and not being successful. You need a battle and a sense of being. Your sense of being is to fight your way out. You are scared that if you do fight your way out, there will be no more fight.

    PK, you actually have a lot in you. You want to burst and you feel well beyond your peers. Sometimes you wake up and feel like a superstar but just don't know how and where to attain this level of success. But now, it is time to re-engineer (no pun intended) and start focusing on the climb for your legacy. Use all of this underdog climb to create success for you, your family and so that YOU CAN BE THE GRANDFATHER your children speak highly of. Why would you let your grandfather go in vein without picking up the pieces? Who will follow? Who will provide the gift of the "most learned man in the family" to your family generation to come? Who will provide for your maternal fragile grandfather? IT WILL BE YOU!!! There is nobody left but you! The two of you cannot be sick or else you will fail him and your family. You think you are the black sheep but you will show them you ARE THE black sheep who fears not the wolves of the night. You slay them and protect the rest of the white sheep from horror and fear.

    Every week, you will message me and update me on your progress. Below are some videos for you to watch. They are not necessarily for you to get a job. If you do, that is great. But the idea is for you to learn these people and figure out what they are doing correct and doing wrong. Learn the patterns and see how things fit. Start to turn your research side on and compare/contrast their information with your own discoveries. Bring new ideas and light.

    Finally, if you made it all the way here, tell me something about Amazon that not a lot of people know regarding customer service. What are some things you think Amazon could do better in order to achieve higher levels of customer satisfaction? What are some trends you have noticed with people who contact Amazon?

    P.S.- I am a big fan of Sadhguru.











    Baphomet thanked this post.

  4. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by halfamazing View Post
    @pessimistic kid

    WoW! I am really impressed! You are just as normal as everyone else. You actually replied with substance and quality. For a moment there I was worried and really thought you really had no self worth.. The only problem you have is your environment and situations that have conditioned you. Also, you haven't tapped into the realm of social networking. As a result, you have become addicted to toxicity because you don't have stimulation- and for another secret reason I will explain below. You want to be stimulated and would do anything for a taste of success. You really don't want to be where you are and you are begging for relief. Unlike others, you are READY! I guarantee you that if I really went deep into your life and started picking at your core, you would resist and all of a sudden, you would begin defending your actual worth. I have read your posts and you have a tendency to defend your worth without realizing it. (I can see your eyes lighting up right now) Despite what you hear or see, the 1% is real!!

    #1- The hard truth PK- right now, there is no more time for star gazing and moon gazing. That moon gazing time you should be researching career possibilities and areas that will create more self-worth for you. You are 23 and time is still on your side. So relax, take a breather, and start focusing. It's ok to feel, anxiety, nervous, and guilt. It only means you are alive.

    #2- You clearly have a relationship with your mum and fragile grandfather. This means that every week, at least once a week, you will be the man of the family and take them somewhere. Each week, show your mum something new that you have discovered in the world of philosophy, science, and history. Talk to her about Chandragupta Maurya (0340 BC). From there, this will help your develop your teaching skills so that you can take those skills and apply them to smaller groups, and eventually have your own PK seminars. You can't tell me that all of your science, philosophical, and historical discoveries are going to waste? Let me find out you have all this information and you are keeping it for yourself and not sharing it like the powerful INFJ that you are... Are you kidding me? Go out and teach it DUDE! I am sure it drives you crazy at the way that you are being instructed in school. I am sure you know better ways inside your head but are afraid to tell the instructor. it's ok, I do it too.

    #3- You will go out once a week to a club, or peer-group society and immerse yourself with these groups. Get involved in various groups from philosophy, science, corporation, etc. Learn about Amazon and how it works inside- the areas that most people don't know. It doesn't mean to participate and become friends right away. The idea is to learn about people and what they are doing. Observe from a far until you feel ready to interact. Dissect their characters and analyze what is going through their heads. Figure them out quietly. Only step in when they need your help because you know they will need it :)

    #4 You are cute, good looking, competitive, self-absorbed, eccentric, wise, helping, good-natured. Are you describing yourself or Cristiano Ronaldo hahaha... I bet I look better in jeans than you do.. (You get my point, no need to say more )

    #5 So.. You want to be successful, you like being the underdog, you want to give a tough fight... Wait! What happened to the sad, worthless, pessimistic kid???? Whatever happened to the soft weak boy? The reality, PK doesn't exist. Secretly, in a convoluted, twisted sense, you relish the feeling of being the underdog. You love the climb and not being successful. You need a battle and a sense of being. Your sense of being is to fight your way out. You are scared that if you do fight your way out, there will be no more fight.

    PK, you actually have a lot in you. You want to burst and you feel well beyond your peers. Sometimes you wake up and feel like a superstar but just don't know how and where to attain this level of success. But now, it is time to re-engineer (no pun intended) and start focusing on the climb for your legacy. Use all of this underdog climb to create success for you, your family and so that YOU CAN BE THE GRANDFATHER your children speak highly of. Why would you let your grandfather go in vein without picking up the pieces? Who will follow? Who will provide the gift of the "most learned man in the family" to your family generation to come? Who will provide for your maternal fragile grandfather? IT WILL BE YOU!!! There is nobody left but you! The two of you cannot be sick or else you will fail him and your family. You think you are the black sheep but you will show them you ARE THE black sheep who fears not the wolves of the night. You slay them and protect the rest of the white sheep from horror and fear.

    Every week, you will message me and update me on your progress. Below are some videos for you to watch. They are not necessarily for you to get a job. If you do, that is great. But the idea is for you to learn these people and figure out what they are doing correct and doing wrong. Learn the patterns and see how things fit. Start to turn your research side on and compare/contrast their information with your own discoveries. Bring new ideas and light.

    Finally, if you made it all the way here, tell me something about Amazon that not a lot of people know regarding customer service. What are some things you think Amazon could do better in order to achieve higher levels of customer satisfaction? What are some trends you have noticed with people who contact Amazon?

    P.S.- I am a big fan of Sadhguru.












    THANK YOU so much for the EFFORT and the TIME you gave in writing this post. I assure you I am going to take a SS be rereading this to remind somethings that you are absolutely right about.

    The only 1 BIG problem, that you didn't address is my 'condition', my blood disorder, Hemophilia. IT really affects the quality of my life.
    I don't take regular injections for it due to financial constraints.

    So the sad truth is, I can not be the MAN of the family.
    My grandfather expired 3 weeks ago.

    Now, I don't want to share each tiny complain that I have. But I can't find a solution either. I know I have no choice but to be the Man, because nobody cares!

    But it is tough, because in the end, the number one priority and blessing one should have is that he/she is Healthy.
    If one is healthy, he can push harder than others but that will never be the case with me(as stated in my post).

    So basically, when I am healthy I try showing what I have got inside me.
    But that period is short.
    You need to be 'consistent' to success.

    I haven't started working at that company yet.
    My final semester exams are beginning soon. Joining is after that.
    My family doesn't want me to work in customer service after all I would be graduating as a computer science Engineer.
    But I feel like running away, live seprately and do that job and cut my ties off with them.
    Because it pinches me the amount of money that has been spent on me and I have been just a mediocre student. A lot was expected from me when I was a child. And maybe still is.

    That is why I am anxious and depressed as well.

    Guilt consumes me again. And I start coming here, lol.

    Plus in future, I am not stronger enough to be abe to save the white sheeps from horror and fear.
    I wish I could talk to myself 10 years ago and tell him to not be a normal teen get attracted by the superficial attractiveness of media and work his butt off to study.

    But my parents had been so overprotective. And still are Plus they got me enrolled in one of the best schools in the city despite financial limits. So just I could be as good as others. But it was horrible in the end. Highschool sucked. Not being able to attend school regularly and watching my old friends drifting apart from me. Ended up in the mediocre college. And Same happened in college.
    My parents won't even get me a two wheeler. They are scared about the accidents.


    I already figured out what needs/needed to be done but I have my limit. :/

    I feel a bit guilty because of your elaborated answer.
    Thank you so much again.

    Wrote via phone.


     
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