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This is a discussion on Enneatype within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I'm not sure what my Enneagram type is. I've tested different the last couple of years and it's to complex ...

  1. #11
    Unknown Personality

    I'm not sure what my Enneagram type is.
    I've tested different the last couple of years and it's to complex for me to study.
    The numbers that come up often are...
    6w5, 4w3, 8w9
    4w5, 6w5, 8w9

    I think from the outside, people probably see me as a 6w5.
    On the inside I see me as a 4w5 or maybe a 4w3.
    The 4 is showing up now that I feel safer and healthier.
    When I was in the military, or other leadership positions, the 8 shows up.

    When I saw this:

    Lost Childhood Messages


    • Type One: You are good.
    • Type Two: You are wanted.
    • Type Three: You are loved for yourself.
    • Type Four: You are seen for who you are.
    • Type Five: Your needs are not a problem.
    • Type Six: You are safe.
    • Type Seven: You will be taken care of.
    • Type Eight: You will not be betrayed.
    • Type Nine: Your presence matters.
    It made sense that I don't know my type.
    I had lost, or never received any of the above messages
    from people/family.

    Somehow I did receive those messages in my heart or spirit,
    or whatever you want to call it. There was a drive to survive,
    or I wouldn't be here.

    I believe I received the internal messages from God,
    because the people I grew up with were not able to
    deliver these messages.

    I would like to say...People on PerC are great at delivering
    these good messages and I feel very alive.

    Thank you, I found this thread very interesting.
    I'm sorry @Raichan , I can't help with your question...
    but your question helped me. (((hug)))
    myosotis and Geoffrey thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Raichan View Post

    -----I get a strong Type 4 vibe from what you wrote, but the real question is what drives you--the why. That is something only you can know. Can you speak more to what motivates you in life?
    Quote Originally Posted by ruth2ten View Post
    I'm not sure what my Enneagram type is.
    [. . .]
    I think from the outside, people probably see me as a 6w5.
    On the inside I see me as a 4w5 or maybe a 4w3.
    The 4 is showing up now that I feel safer and healthier.
    When I was in the military, or other leadership positions, the 8 shows up.

    -----Based on your suggestions of 4 and 6, consider how you act when in a good place in your life (integration) versus a bad place (disintegration). For instance, as a 9, I integrate to 3 (look like a healthy 3) and disintegrate to 6 (look like an unhealthy 6).

    • 9<--integration<--6-->disintegration-->3
    • 1<--integration<--4-->disintegration-->2

    See more at: How the Enneagram Personality System Works.
    -----Interestingly, the last bit of what you wrote may suggest that you are an altogether different type. If you integrate to 4 ("now that I feel safer and healthier") and disintegrate to 8 ("When I was in the military, or other leadership positions, the 8 shows up"), and assuming you found your military/leadership positions stressful, then you may be a Type 2.
    • 4<--integration<--2-->disintegration-->8

    Quote Originally Posted by ruth2ten View Post

    When I saw this:
    [. . .]
    It made sense that I don't know my type.
    I had lost, or never received any of the above messages
    from people/family.
    Somehow I did receive those messages in my heart or spirit,
    or whatever you want to call it. There was a drive to survive,
    or I wouldn't be here.
    I believe I received the internal messages from God,
    because the people I grew up with were not able to
    deliver these messages.
    I would like to say...People on PerC are great at delivering
    these good messages and I feel very alive.

    -----I'm sorry that you were deprived of so many messages. I was, too. What RH suggest is that our Essence needs to hear some messages more than others. Even if we hear none of those messages, the lack of some messages will hurt us while the absence of other messages may not matter nearly as much. For instance, the 3, 4, 5, and 6 messages for me--I didn't receive them--but I am relatively uninjured by that. However, the lack of 9, 2, and 7 messages injured me a lot. Actually, I received some of 7--that messages was communicated--but I did not believe it (based on the lack of 9 and 2?).
    -----In any case, I am glad you received some of those messages from God, and some of them here on PerC. : )

  3. #13
    INFJ

    I'm a type 1w2 Sx/So :3

    my tritype is 1w2, 3w4, 7w6. This fits like a glove for me and perfectly covers the blank spots for the MBTI and vice versa
    Vivid Melody and Geoffrey thanked this post.

  4. #14
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Quote Originally Posted by Geoffrey View Post
    -----I've found looking at the childhood messages upon which Enneagram is built is the best way to discover type. Take a look, below.

    Unconscious Childhood Messages

    • Type One: It's not ok to make mistakes.
    • Type Two: It's not ok to have your own needs.
    • Type Three: It's not ok to have your own feelings and identity.
    • Type Four: It's not ok to be too functional or too happy.
    • Type Five: It's not ok to be comfortable in the world.
    • Type Six: It's not ok to trust yourself.
    • Type Seven: It's not ok to depend on anyone for anything.
    • Type Eight: It's not ok to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.
    • Type Nine: It's not ok to assert yourself.


    The Lost Childhood Messages for each type, that we do not hear as children, are ones that Riso thinks becomes the central issue in our lives. We want to hear our lost message more than anything else.

    Lost Childhood Messages

    • Type One: You are good.
    • Type Two: You are wanted.
    • Type Three: You are loved for yourself.
    • Type Four: You are seen for who you are.
    • Type Five: Your needs are not a problem.
    • Type Six: You are safe.
    • Type Seven: You will be taken care of.
    • Type Eight: You will not be betrayed.
    • Type Nine: Your presence matters.


    In looking over the lost messages, I can tell without a doubt that 9 is my central life struggle. Then 2. Then 7. I see a bit of 3,4, and 5, but they do not resonate strongly. Most people I know can look at this information and go through a similar process. Hopefully it helps you as well.
    Wow! This is great! Where did you find this?

    Totally relate to type 9. That's the bomb!
    Geoffrey thanked this post.

  5. #15
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by frenchie View Post
    Wow! This is great! Where did you find this?
    Totally relate to type 9. That's the bomb!

    -----The link for just that part is here: Lost and Unconscious Childhood Messages.
    -----The charts I work from are here: warning: they cost money : ( The Enneagram Charts
    frenchie thanked this post.

  6. #16
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoffrey View Post
    -----I get a strong Type 4 vibe from what you wrote, but the real question is what drives you--the why. That is something only you can know. Can you speak more to what motivates you in life?
    Thanks, that is a good question.

    Hmm I was pondering about this a while before.. I was thinking of two incidents when

    1) Over something that happened, my friend told me not to blame myself, but I wanted to feel more responsible. So it didn't make me feel better, what she said, somehow it made me annoyed :/

    2) Also the time when my boyfriend said,''but you are a good Muslim'' when I said I wasn't. I know he means well, but I did not feel comfortable with it. I know that I have a long way to go, I won't call myself someone who doesn't care about religion, I care about my religion a lot but I do not want the label 'good Muslim' on it when I don't think I'm good enough to have that label.

    And my discomfort wasn't driven from wanting to be 'individualist' like a 4..It was driven from me feeling that I have failed self-expectations, a want for a certain type of 'perfection.' I think I relate somewhat to the unconscious childhood message,' it's not ok to make mistakes.' For me, certain areas in life call for = no mistakes, must have excellence.

    I used to think I was mostly a 4, but I realize through time that I am a perfectionist in certain things in life (not in everything though). For instance, I can get really annoyed (even more than necessary, I think) when people show inconsistency in some of their personal values that I consider important.. I'm not 1000% sure, maybe it's a matter of growth.
    Sina, ruth2ten and Geoffrey thanked this post.

  7. #17
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by Geoffrey View Post
    -----I've found looking at the childhood messages upon which Enneagram is built is the best way to discover type. Take a look, below.

    Unconscious Childhood Messages

    • Type One: It's not ok to make mistakes.
    • Type Two: It's not ok to have your own needs.
    • Type Three: It's not ok to have your own feelings and identity.
    • Type Four: It's not ok to be too functional or too happy.
    • Type Five: It's not ok to be comfortable in the world.
    • Type Six: It's not ok to trust yourself.
    • Type Seven: It's not ok to depend on anyone for anything.
    • Type Eight: It's not ok to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.
    • Type Nine: It's not ok to assert yourself.


    The Lost Childhood Messages for each type, that we do not hear as children, are ones that Riso thinks becomes the central issue in our lives. We want to hear our lost message more than anything else.

    Lost Childhood Messages

    • Type One: You are good.
    • Type Two: You are wanted.
    • Type Three: You are loved for yourself.
    • Type Four: You are seen for who you are.
    • Type Five: Your needs are not a problem.
    • Type Six: You are safe.
    • Type Seven: You will be taken care of.
    • Type Eight: You will not be betrayed.
    • Type Nine: Your presence matters.


    In looking over the lost messages, I can tell without a doubt that 9 is my central life struggle. Then 2. Then 7. I see a bit of 3,4, and 5, but they do not resonate strongly. Most people I know can look at this information and go through a similar process. Hopefully it helps you as well.
    This is extremely insightful, thank you.

    I am still studying enneagrams, though for the time being, my tested tritype is 5w6, 2w1, and 1w9.
    The first one, definitely, no doubt about that.
    The other two, I'm not quite sure about. It's never been consistent, except for the 5w6. I just began to really study it properly. I'm going to properly start exploring it, but first I need the sufficient knowledge.

    I think I could learn a lot from you.
    ruth2ten and Geoffrey thanked this post.

  8. #18
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Raichan View Post
    Thanks, that is a good question.

    Hmm I was pondering about this a while before.. I was thinking of two incidents when

    1) Over something that happened, my friend told me not to blame myself, but I wanted to feel more responsible. So it didn't make me feel better, what she said, somehow it made me annoyed :/

    2) Also the time when my boyfriend said,''but you are a good Muslim'' when I said I wasn't. I know he means well, but I did not feel comfortable with it. I know that I have a long way to go, I won't call myself someone who doesn't care about religion, I care about my religion a lot but I do not want the label 'good Muslim' on it when I don't think I'm good enough to have that label.

    And my discomfort wasn't driven from wanting to be 'individualist' like a 4..It was driven from me feeling that I have failed self-expectations, a want for a certain type of 'perfection.' I think I relate somewhat to the unconscious childhood message,' it's not ok to make mistakes.' For me, certain areas in life call for = no mistakes, must have excellence.

    I used to think I was mostly a 4, but I realize through time that I am a perfectionist in certain things in life (not in everything though). For instance, I can get really annoyed (even more than necessary, I think) when people show inconsistency in some of their personal values that I consider important.. I'm not 1000% sure, maybe it's a matter of growth.

    -----What both of those incidents (1 & 2) have in common is emotional invalidation. See: Emotional Intelligence. It sounds like you wanted the other person to acknowledge the validity of what you were feeling instead of trying to "fix" it.
    -----Most, if not all, INFJs have problems with perfectionism (perfectionism, OCD, and even OCPD). It is likely a defining trait (see PersonalityJunkie). I'm a 9, but I have a serious problem with perfectionism--perhaps even a form of OCD ("just right"). However, I'm not a 1; I'm an INFJ.
    -----8-9-1 wants acceptance; 2-3-4 wants affirmation; 5-6-7 wants reassurance. If you found your friends' words annoying, you are not responding to reassurance, which probably kicks out 5-6-7. You don't really mention affirmation, above, which for the sake of this analysis kicks out 2-3-4. Part of what acceptance means is being accepted for who you are--both the good and the bad. So, I think your main type is either 8, 9, or 1.
    -----Now, I'm going to pick out something you wrote, above: "[. . .] I don't think I'm good enough [. . .]." This is a common issue for 1s. 1s often feel that to be good, one must be perfectly good--that any imperfection tarnishes the whole and negates the possibility of perfection. But here is the truth: Perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect (Haruki Murakami). The challenge for a 1 is accepting that s/he is not "perfect" and in the acceptance of that imperfection lies actual perfection.
    -----As always, it's your analysis that counts. I hope this provides a useful perspective. I wish you luck on your continued journey of growth. : )
    Elinor Dashwood and Choice thanked this post.

  9. #19

    What do you think this "perfection" will bring you if you are ever able to actually attain it?
    Geoffrey thanked this post.

  10. #20
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    What do you think this "perfection" will bring you if you are ever able to actually attain it?
    As a fairly well-developed 1w2 (I don't tend to sink into 4-isms very often), I can say that while "perfection" definitely drives Ones, we know deep down that it's unattainable. If it were (paradoxically), I think Ones would think the ideal unworthy of their devotion.

    Consider: a One's direction of integration isn't toward perfection, but toward type 7. It's the point at which Ones acknowledge that while their ideal is still worth striving for, the perfect should not become the enemy of the good. Ones at this stage, instead of just trying to critique and build their way to perfection, learn to affirm and celebrate the accomplishments of imperfect people striving toward perfect ideals. I don't always function at that level, but I'm close when I'm at my best, and it's where I love to be.

    One of the best aspects of the Enneagram typology is its integration-disintegration dynamics because it captures a lot about people's motivations and how they deal with stress and develop as persons. It gives a much larger view of the person. It's much more about the internal psychology than the conscious functionality that MBTI illustrates (they're both excellent though).
    Raichan, Elinor Dashwood and Geoffrey thanked this post.


     
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