[INFJ] Unpredictable event bring me stress, how about you ?

Unpredictable event bring me stress, how about you ?

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This is a discussion on Unpredictable event bring me stress, how about you ? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Tonight, I came back and I was mad , the main reason is there was too much unpredictable "pattern". What ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Unpredictable event bring me stress, how about you ?

    Tonight, I came back and I was mad , the main reason is there was too much unpredictable "pattern". What I mean is that other phone me and ask help them now ! Because it s urgent. it s not that I don't want help , in fact I like to help, but I hate when other use their agenda on me , especially this kind of thing. I love schedule , and plan and I hate unplanned event, that need to disturb your whole day, or days...

    And plus I need to go out here and there in order to help. I prefer inside :)

    I think it s something to do with Ni and Ti , Ni is predicting pattern and give to Ti his vision ,in order to implement it technically with a schedule and plan in real life , without to be distracted or disturbed.

    The first thing I did , when I came back home was , to open youtube and listen to this Mystical song :



    And feel relaxed and renergized.

    the second is go to my infj tribe to share this experience (I really begin to be attached to it :)

    Did something like this happen to you ? how do you deal with this kind of stress ?



  2. #2
    Unknown

    It depends on the context of the event. Is this something where I have to perform or know or do something specific? Or is it more playful, where one of my P-ness friends sweep me off my feet and says "lets go here!" and I go without thinking? I admire that feeling of freedom, but with something more serious, I like to have a plan. If my work called me now and said "YOU HAVE TO COME IN RIGHT NOW!" I'd be in a frenzy, scatterbrained and upset because I already worked this morning, I changed my clothes, did my usual routine of "coming home and settling in" and I'm now in an INFJ space bubble with my headphones on. But if my friend called and said, "hey, lets go get ice cream!" I could work with that. It depends if something is more fun and lighthearted, and someone reminding me of what it's like to have responsibility because for me, there's an undercurrent of steady anxiety before those things. Having it hit me all at once throws me off and makes me feel rushed, cranky and irritable. If there is no deadline or time limit to something, and time is free flowing, I'm okay with doing things on a whim. Like you, I retreat to my protective, predictable bubble after something like that. It's probably adrenaline, but it's funny because in emergency situations involving people, I have clarity and feel in control and calm even if everything around me falls apart. I guess it depends on the demands placed on me. I'm able to discard all feelings of frustration to unpredictability when someone needs me, because it's simply less important.

  3. #3

    yes, i understand!! it's hard to deal with events when they are entirely unexpected and throw off all your plans for the day. that stresses me also.

    one thing that helps is to find a way to laugh about it or enjoy it. fun is a matter of attitude more often than it is a matter of circumstance. a lot of stress can be alleviated if you can find a way to make things fun or find some humor in them, by putting yourself in the moment and determining you are going to find a way to enjoy it rather than fumingly focusing on all that can't happen now, because this just got dropped in your lap (which is my natural tendency, anyway). this alleviates unnecessary stress that can literally make your body more susceptible to illness and wear you out. it's a way to make the best of what is, when it's outside of your control, rather than focusing on what you wish reality were. :)
    Ntuitive, firelink and confused girl28 thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors


    I really don't handle unplanned things well.

    Often when people come up with a new idea or invite me, I ask them to let me think it over. I sense how this disappoints them, but I can't help it.

    If anyone calls me to come over and help immediately, I will do that, out of a strong sense of obligation and responsibility. And in the end I really don't mind so much. It has happened that I had to go out and help friends that way. However, my first, internal, reaction is always: "No! Not now, not me!"

    But I usually have a fixed schedule of events in my head, and when someone messes with it, I feel really unhappy about that, and conflicted onwhether I should let them know.
    confused girl28 and firelink thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors


    I am a perfectionist at heart. I am also skilled in home handyman repairs and such. The conflict comes when I go to help, and the requester has inadequate material to do the job, some special tool is needed that I do not have, or the request involves something requiring city permits and inspections. I want to help, but Ido not want to do an improper job - hanging a light fixture or ceiling fan is OK, but running wire and putting in a new switch is a job for a licensed and bonded electrician. These things I refuse, and refuse to clean up messses made by the "friend" in trying to do it himself. So, ill feeling arises.Better that than his house burning down and My feling responsible.

    Once I was going to help on a small reshingling job at my church. The day before the man in charge -all volunteers, called me and said I seemed to know what I was doing, he had to be out of town, and would I take over? Next day 3 people showed up. worked about an hour, left. I never again volunteered to help at he church again.
    lemondropG thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    It's hard to turn down people who ask nicely, frame their request for help as an urgent desperate need & give me this face:



    I think it's INFJ kryptonite. Or enneagram 9 kryptonite. But either way, yes, I hate feeling put upon - especially on the spot. Every once in a while I get sucked into a "could use your help with this" vortex and struggle to get out. We're such suckers for it.

    To make things worse I also take on projects rather than help with them. "Can you help me with these baby shower invitations?" turns into me sitting at my kitchen table alone at 3AM hot gluing a mound of blue feathers to cardstock. Why? Because somewhere in my bird brain is the thought It'll be faster & easier on everyone if I do this by myself later. If I'm not doing that I'm creating ideas that creates more work. "Hey, I glued a rhinestone over the tip of the feather. Do you like it?" OMG yes! Let's do them all this way! Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.


     

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