[INFJ] Introverted and Depressed

Introverted and Depressed

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This is a discussion on Introverted and Depressed within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hi all- please excuse my title. I am an ENFP obviously, but I have an INFJ friend who struggles with ...

  1. #1

    Introverted and Depressed

    Hi all- please excuse my title. I am an ENFP obviously, but I have an INFJ friend who struggles with depression. I myself struggle with anxiety, and so I have no direct knowledge of the subject of which to give to her. I have tried to suggest things related to escaping an Ni-Ti loop and engaging FE, but I honestly don't know if those things are genuinely helpful. She recently told me she feels as though there is "no joy left in the world for her to experience" which obviously is really hard to hear and not something I personally experience. Her parents don't believe in therapy and are also controlling (a lot of INFJ's seem to have problems with their parents it seems) Any tips on how I can help her would be greatly appreciated.



  2. #2
    ENTP

    How old is she?
    Is she still living with her parents?

  3. #3

    Does she have any hobbies which might serve as therapeutic distraction for her? Competitive sports? Yoga? Art?

    I found artistic endeavors helped me to think less about depressive thoughts. They're not gone, but they lessen while I'm working on something creative. Unfortunately, therapy itself was not at all helpful for me.
    m0ncheri thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by DAHN View Post
    How old is she?
    Is she still living with her parents?
    She's 18, and will be living with them until August.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by lavendersnow View Post
    Does she have any hobbies which might serve as therapeutic distraction for her? Competitive sports? Yoga? Art?

    I found artistic endeavors helped me to think less about depressive thoughts. They're not gone, but they lessen while I'm working on something creative. Unfortunately, therapy itself was not at all helpful for me.
    Hi- she definitely does, and I have suggested those to her but she seems to think she can't become motivated enough to do them because she says she has to be in a positive mood to work out or paint, of which she says she is never in.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by m0ncheri View Post
    Hi- she definitely does, and I have suggested those to her but she seems to think she can't become motivated enough to do them because she says she has to be in a positive mood to work out or paint, of which she says she is never in.
    I used to be that way too - 100%.

    Unfortunately, using the 'I'm not in a good enough mood, so what's the point?' excuse only puts you further in a cycle you can't escape. The way I ended up realising I had to push through that feeling was after talking to a therapist I noticed you could liken indulging in your hobbies to taking your medicine for an illness daily. You might not want to take it because you don't feel like it, but it is good for you.

    I had to start forcing myself to engage in my old hobbies for about two years straight before I started finding any kind of joy in them again. But all the while, I could have continued to be as depressed as I was by not trying anything at all. I'm fully aware it doesn't sound like the most hopeful advice, but I know the feeling your friend is expressing.
    m0ncheri and Tridentus thanked this post.

  7. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by lavendersnow View Post
    I used to be that way too - 100%.

    Unfortunately, using the 'I'm not in a good enough mood, so what's the point?' excuse only puts you further in a cycle you can't escape. The way I ended up realising I had to push through that feeling was after talking to a therapist I noticed you could liken indulging in your hobbies to taking your medicine for an illness daily. You might not want to take it because you don't feel like it, but it is good for you.

    I had to start forcing myself to engage in my old hobbies for about two years straight before I started finding any kind of joy in them again. But all the while, I could have continued to be as depressed as I was by not trying anything at all. I'm fully aware it doesn't sound like the most hopeful advice, but I know the feeling your friend is expressing.
    I'm sorry, but this is such a fantastic post. Sometimes mental health is almost the mathematics of it. Every good habit you have has a certain value, and every negative has a certain value too.. When you're in the negative you become more blind to the positive, and vice versa... So what you should do is do your best to total up your "positive points" even if your brain is telling you it is counter-intuitive.

    This is why when things go well, things are easy because good mental health reinforces good habits, while the exact vice versa happens during the rough times.
    lavendersnow thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Indeed. I've heard it put in the general & blunt terms "mood doesn't precede action, action precedes mood".

    It's a good simple thing to keep in mind if you're the sort who thinks waiting until inspiration or motivation hit you is adequate but ultimately aren't content with the way you spend your time.
    lavendersnow thanked this post.

  9. #9

    A depressed INFJ should always turn to Se for quick relief. There's a great big beautiful sensually gratifying world out there which is just aching to show you what joy is all about. Shallow joy? Not for an INFJ. Assimilating that "shallow" data chases away the blues and the cobwebs, and gives a kick-start to the INFJ grand mechanism which then goes to work transforming external sensations into eternal truths. As long as you impose reasonable limits, Se is and will always be the INFJ's best friend, providing balance and a connection with the real world.
    lavendersnow and thedog thanked this post.

  10. #10
    Unknown

    Well if there is none left she is probably hogging it all and needs to share it with someone. Challenge her to pick someone and focus on bringing joy to their life.

    Often times the thing we want most is precisely the thing we need to give away.


     

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