[INFJ] How to socialize - Page 2

How to socialize

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This is a discussion on How to socialize within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; You talk about being weird like it's a bad thing. I'm weird, always wanted to be and I was always ...

  1. #11
    INFJ

    You talk about being weird like it's a bad thing. I'm weird, always wanted to be and I was always attracted to other weird people and it worked both ways. I'm that weird brother, co-worker, partner. I make everything weird and put a spin on everything. Recently I overheard a co-workers conversation and one of them asked "What does eccentric mean?" She just pointed at me and said "This guy".

    You will always be weird and just accept it and be weird. Many people suffer from loneliness but you still have chance to make friends at school. I don't even know how to make friends, somehow I end up having them without trying. Sometimes you just meet one or two people, turns out that they know few more and you end up knowing quite a lot.

    Probably the easiest way to have a conversation is to ask people questions. Where they come from, their family members. How they spend free time or who they want to be when they grow up (my favourite one, especially to ask old people).

    Now between work and full time relationship I have no time for friends since I like my alone time too. Brooding mostly.

    MBTI wise most of my friends are INxx with one ISTJ.
    Last edited by Vunar; 04-07-2018 at 05:16 PM.
    StableSun35 and Anunnaki Spirit thanked this post.

  2. #12

    I would have to say: Just get out there and make mistakes.

    Seek people through activities you enjoy. The more you socialize and open up to various people, you will realize everyone is weird in their own way. The ones who decide to judge you negatively for it, you do not need to give them any attention. Turn around and talk to new people. There are always people who will like you for who you are. Build self-esteem through them to practice socializing even more. Feeling comfortable being yourself attracts more people.

    Groups are difficult as an introvert. I just tend to stand there. I say a couple of things here and there, comment and compliment. Don't feel the need to be as talkative and at ease as some extroverts. They will do the talking, and you can kind of observe those around you to seek out who you think you can get along. And then talk to a couple of people. There is no fault in that.

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by HuntinFoxesWithNoLuck View Post
    how can I find people to talk to about interesting things?
    It's hard giving generic advice because only you know what will work for you. So the only advice I can give is go out there and practice, practice, practice (meeting and socializing). Use EVERY public setting as an encounter for meeting new people and think outside the box in this way (I met a great person while buying a soda at a quick mart). Set your pesonal goal at 0% probability to avoid discouragement, but rejoice with every success. Evaluate every encounter after the fact like you're watching the replay of the game in the locker room. Over time you will learn what works and what doesn't. Remember that Edison had nearly 3000 failures before he invented the light bulb.
    Last edited by shadowdream; 04-08-2018 at 08:57 AM. Reason: Typo
    lifeisanillusion thanked this post.

  4. #14

    Joining a club or group that does something that you are interested in. That way it is easier to make small talk or break the ice. If I join a photography club (assuming I am interested in photography) than people at the club will also be interested in photography. It gives me something to talk about right off the bat that I am interested in.

  5. #15
    INFJ


    Woo Slovakia! Screw people, get into that incredible wilderness of yours. We had one night camping by Bojnice and it was bliss. Great work there.

    Seriously though, when I was working in the world I usually found something to talk about in the newspaper or TV shows. My boss and I would analyse Desperate Housewives the next day after each episode. He was the chief bean counter. It is surprising the things people are into, like accountants will gamble on anything. I have a mental dossier on the people around me so once I know something about them I will refer back to it next time. Like, how was that weekend with your in-laws? Bad as you were expecting? Not names though, because that would be useful hahaha Eventually talking about their lives will come around to something interesting. Unless they like sport. Then you're fucked.

    I am self imposed isolated at the moment, it's just too hard because I have a weird diet and I don't like people in my house so the food/booze/reciprocating hospitality thing just doesn't happen. I'm working on it, the termite guy is coming in a couple of weeks so there's that 😃
    StableSun35 thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Join an internet forum that aligns with your hobbies/interests. You'll find a lot of good people to talk to. Watch videos on Youtube that align with your "wierd" quirks --- because all forms of "weirdness" has real world manifestations and there are others that are "weird" just like you --- comment on those videos to get your thoughts out.

    Your responsibility to go out there and find your place in the world you know? Sometimes people with similar interests will do meetups that you can then travel to if you like.

    In 2013 I was going through an extended period of isolation and I got interested in wrestling again and joined a related forum. Well, now four years later I'm 20k posts in on that forum and it allows me to socialize without ever having to leave the home. I don't just talk about wrestling there. I talk about everything from books, movies, politics, current events etc. In fact, their movie/entertainment and video game sections are more active than the ones I've seen here.

    And yes, we also discuss teh "deep and feelasophical" meanings behind the things we watch. Sometimes it seems like a lot of people think that N's on PerC have some sort of monopoly over reeeally, really deeeep thoughts .. but that is obviously not true. Also, if you guys miss these philosophical discussions IRL, create some threads in related sections. Engage.

    My extroversion is off the charts and I don't have a single IRL friend (I'm good with my wife) and I have absolutely no signs / hints of depression of any kind. I'm good. There's a HUGE fucking world out there. Finding my place in it is something that comes naturally to me.

    Engage. Reap rewards.
    Last edited by SilentScream; 04-11-2018 at 06:37 AM.

  7. #17
    INFJ


    I'm bad with my tiny mobile and not much better at the best of times so I couldn't modify my post. I think you should carry a notebook for your story ideas and maybe sneak up on writing by writing a short story one day when you're bored. I know someone who did a writing course online and there was interaction between students. Oh and I feel no need to talk in groups. As soon as there are more than two people I'm out, observer only mode. I think people realise introverts exist now so it's a bit more accepted. I do know a person who prepares a list for group discussions. An example from a few years ago was 9/11 conspiracy theories.


     
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