Constructive criticism please!
This is a discussion on What are some of the troubles other types have with the INFJ personality? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Constructive criticism please!...
Constructive criticism please!
--talk in metaphors, similitudes, parables, and such cloudy circumlocutions;
--stick to our principles and so can be perceived as stubborn and uncooperative;
--are better looking than they are;
--have a reserved nature;
--and because of our reserved, studious, nature, often outdo others in sophistication;
--are in their opinion too accommodating and compliant;
--and because of this supposed over-accommodation are supposedly too self-denying;
--are hard to get to argue or fight (this bothers some personalities!);
--take life seriously;
--and other stuff too frightening for words.
hard to kill them, things like law are in the way :)
Nowhere to be found.
- Too indirect
- Too subtle
- Slow to action/ill suited to emergencies
- Alternately fussy and oblivious
- Impatient with incompetence yet dismissive of their own incompetence in matters deemed unimportant
- we are stubborn or inflexible
- we don't keep in touch as often as they like, or drop off the planet
- we always need a cause
- we don't function or think like they do
- we are too easy on someone they think requires a firmer approach
- we seem aloof and intimidating to approach
- we stare into their soul and it makes them uncomfortable
- we are "too idealistic"
- we are judgmental about how people are treated or about causes that matter to us
- we get on our high horse and talk down at people when they attack us
- we engage in white-knighting
- we won't consider their opinion
- we won't surrender our principles in order to achieve goals they need our help to achieve
- we don't cope with sudden changes to plans very well
- we may completely cut people out of our lives, for reasons they don't understand
I don't think all of these are problems that we should change - some of them are good features, or things we cannot help - but they certainly are complaints that INFJs tend to hear from other types.
Not being able to function very well in modern society that favors machine like performance in the work place and not conforming very well to the expectations imposed by society as we are introverts. It only gets worse for those who are prone to anxiety and depression as modern society is a pressure cooker and a meat grinder all in one.
I do not have any troubles with INFJ's since we tend to arrive at similar ideas of how an ideal humanity should function and generally aspire to act accordingly. The degree of trouble is determined by individual cases, but i can say those who know better but don't do anything about it is trouble.
Although the pressures i experience with INFJ's as a group is actually inherit to the 'NF' category but the INFJ way of doing it is most effective to my temperament and that is when they have trouble letting go when satisfaction has been met to a high level. When in an INFJs 'love grasp' this calls upon more of my energy to investigate deeper into the relationship and then myself, then to find ways to place down what was illuminated with as much compassion as they were picked up. This is a tremendous strain as the situation asks me to remain which infringes on my freedom. But it is the price that has to be paid when getting as entangled as NFs tend to even when it is not completely meant by both.
Odinthor 's post is spot on!
Others to add to the list:
- Appear distant
- Too optimistic
- Too agreeable
- Don't make our own self-interests a priority over others
- Indecisive/ take too long to process and organize information
- Don't participate in black & white thinking. We're always considering shades of grey
- Quiet in large groups but talkative when one-on-one
- Over- achievers
- Too serious
- Slow to open up
- Too sensitive
- Stubborn and fight for what's right
- Not conforming to societal standards
- Willing to compromise our identities in order to harmonize
Being Truth-seekers- Truth in itself annoys and frustrates most people, as it is. They don't wanna hear or see or understand it, and if you strive to seek, study and represent it, they'll have a few serious problems with you.
Being unshakable in the Truths one has found so far, being dead-serious about them and not backing down.
Mood swings, when you don't have the energy or the motivation to hide them.
Not doing things or living life the "conventional" (NORMAL) way.
Being late, but of course it doesn't apply to all INFJs.
(Also, I refuse some things people find too outrageous to even question, like hello/goodbye kisses, hugs and most handshakes.)
...And SO many others, but thankfully quite a few have been posted above.