[INFJ] Female ENFP wanting to date a Male INFJ Qs

Female ENFP wanting to date a Male INFJ Qs

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 13 1 2 3 11 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 122
Thank Tree111Thanks

This is a discussion on Female ENFP wanting to date a Male INFJ Qs within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; -what do you think of ENFPs? -anything that irritates you? -what are you looking for in a potential spouse? -is ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Female ENFP wanting to date a Male INFJ Qs

    -what do you think of ENFPs?
    -anything that irritates you?
    -what are you looking for in a potential spouse?
    -is it a bad sign if an INFJ wants to take it slow/be friends first?
    -it is disrespectful to someone that wants to be friends first to flirt with or try to be irresistible? if not, how can you be irresistible?
    -How do you know if a particular INFJ is worth your time?
    -What do you think of getting engaged to someone you've known for less than a year?
    -if someone describes you as easy to talk to, very intelligent and funny, and very kind, does that sound like someone you would consider being with long term, or more as a friend?
    -if you've seen me around the site over the years, is there anything about me that has concerned you or areas for improvement? do you think I'd be a good match for an INFJ based on what you know about me? (I have changed a lot recently, so I may not be the same person)
    -what would be the perfect date for you? do you prefer to take it slow? do you appreciate small gestures like receiving small gifts, or things like pulling out chairs, opening doors for each other? does gender roles play a part?
    -what has been the best and worst parts about being with an ENFP female?

    Thanks everyone. I am really, really into this guy.
    SOM, Marvin the Dendroid and Dissenter thanked this post.



  2. #2

    What do you think of ENFPs?
     




    Anything that irritates you?
    Restlessness, need for other people (besides my glorious arse).

    What are you looking for in a potential spouse?
    Not looking for one.

    Is it a bad sign if an INFJ wants to take it slow/be friends first?
    No. Personally, I know no other way.

    It is disrespectful to someone that wants to be friends first to flirt with or try to be irresistible?
    Yes. Keep your calm.

    How do you know if a particular INFJ is worth your time?
    Ask them to recite any random poem while sharing their durian with you. If the poem is any good and you do get some durian, definitely worth it.

    What do you think of getting engaged to someone you've known for less than a year?
    Hasty.

    If someone describes you as easy to talk to, very intelligent and funny, and very kind, does that sound like someone you would consider being with long term, or more as a friend?
    It's the same thing. Those things + sexy = relationship material.

    If you've seen me around the site over the years, is there anything about me that has concerned you or areas for improvement? do you think I'd be a good match for an INFJ based on what you know about me? (I have changed a lot recently, so I may not be the same person)
    Don't remember you at all.

    What would be the perfect date for you? do you prefer to take it slow? do you appreciate small gestures like receiving small gifts, or things like pulling out chairs, opening doors for each other? does gender roles play a part?
    Those things matter to people who use the love language of acts of service. I can do them but I don't care much either way. Virtually my only love language is touch.

    As for the perfect date ... picture a quiet garden on a dark, warm night ... a table with a fine selection of fresh durian, some candles randomly floating in the air ... an orchestra playing Mendelssohn, perhaps Shostakovich - heck, any classical music will do - somewhere in the dark, just the two of you ... writing poems to one another. No talking, except when you recite them.

    What has been the best and worst parts about being with an ENFP female?
    Never got that far. I'm one of these, keeping up with an Ne-dom isn't realistic enough to even dream of it.

    Thanks everyone. I am really, really into this guy.
    The best of luck to you.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    What do you think of ENFPs?
    I wouldn't want to get between you and your durian
    Marvin the Dendroid and lavendersnow thanked this post.

  4. #4

    1. It's one of my favourite types.
    2. When you're with me, give me your undivided attention.
    3. Openness, developed taste (classical musical/visual art), well-read, rational, caring, and reasonably principled.
    4. Not necessarily. Just make sure that it's not too slow.
    5. I love playfulness, but don't overdo the irresistible bit.
    6. That's a very subjective decision.
    7. Depends on the circumstances. Again, this is very subjective. It depends on whether you know what you want, what's good for you, and whether you can successfully identify all that in your potential partner.
    8. Sounds like you have a good chance.
    9. I haven't seen you around really.
    10. More or less the same as Marvin's perfect date. I definitely like all those things. I think both partners should always be gracious to one another. Such small acts go a long way.
    11. Never had the pleasure.

  5. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    [QUOTE=Marvin the Dendroid;42657877]
     


    Haha, hilarious

    Anything that irritates you?
    Restlessness, need for other people (besides my glorious arse).
    Yeah, that describes me pretty well. But I also enjoy my own company. Can get needy sometimes.

    Is it a bad sign if an INFJ wants to take it slow/be friends first?
    No. Personally, I know no other way.
    Oooooh. Okay. I still really wanna be with him, and have some idea of how he feels about me. I'm finding it difficult, feeling kind of rejected. Like does he see me as a potential girlfriend? I have no idea. :-(

    It is disrespectful to someone that wants to be friends first to flirt with or try to be irresistible?
    Yes. Keep your calm.
    Thanks, good to know. Soooo difficult though. So shouldn't dress up around him, wear make-up or touch his arm randomly?

    How do you know if a particular INFJ is worth your time?
    Ask them to recite any random poem while sharing their durian with you. If the poem is any good and you do get some durian, definitely worth it.
    Noooooo... what if he doesn't *like* durian? and what if you already ate it?

    What do you think of getting engaged to someone you've known for less than a year?
    Hasty.
    Yeah. But I'm nearly 29. My Dad tried to propose to my mum after 3 months and she put her hand over his mouth to stop him. I think they got engaged after 9 months. I am already pretty sure this guy is solid, like I really trust him and he's really kind and genuine. He's easy to talk to and a good listener. Also we're Christians so we would probably get serious faster (if we ever get past the friend stage). Someone told me you should know someone for 5 years before you get married, but he was having sex with his wife within a week of meeting her, so what does he know?!? I really want to get out of my living situation and start a life with the right person, and if I meet someone that I'm sure about, I don't want to waste time just hanging out or whatever. That being said, this would be my first boyfriend so maybe I'd be terrible as a girlfriend, I have a lot to learn and I get that it's important to build a strong foundation.

    If someone describes you as easy to talk to, very intelligent and funny, and very kind, does that sound like someone you would consider being with long term, or more as a friend?
    It's the same thing. Those things + sexy = relationship material.
    No idea if he finds me sexy or attractive. Don't feel comfortable asking him.

    If you've seen me around the site over the years, is there anything about me that has concerned you or areas for improvement? do you think I'd be a good match for an INFJ based on what you know about me? (I have changed a lot recently, so I may not be the same person)
    Don't remember you at all.
    I haven't been around much in the last 4-5 years. I was pretty active before then, mostly in the ENFP boards.

    What would be the perfect date for you? do you prefer to take it slow? do you appreciate small gestures like receiving small gifts, or things like pulling out chairs, opening doors for each other? does gender roles play a part?
    Those things matter to people who use the love language of acts of service. I can do them but I don't care much either way. Virtually my only love language is touch.

    As for the perfect date ... picture a quiet garden on a dark, warm night ... a table with a fine selection of fresh durian, some candles randomly floating in the air ... an orchestra playing Mendelssohn, perhaps Shostakovich - heck, any classical music will do - somewhere in the dark, just the two of you ... writing poems to one another. No talking, except when you recite them.
    Lol... this date you speak of sounds very specific to you. Although I do think it sounds nice.

    I guess I have to learn his love language. Might make early stages of dating hard, if he doesn't appreciate stuff I do to try and make him happy. Although, he seems pretty thoughtful so I think he would.

    The best of luck to you.
    Thanks xox
    Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by chickydoda View Post
    Oooooh. Okay. I still really wanna be with him, and have some idea of how he feels about me. I'm finding it difficult, feeling kind of rejected. Like does he see me as a potential girlfriend? I have no idea. :-(
    It would probably help to know what the rest of his social life looks like. What level of attention do you get compared to the rest of the ladies he socialises with? With me, this is super easy - if I talk to you at all IRL, I'm interested. Most INFJs are more social so you'd need to see how they handle the rest of their entourage.

    As for attractiveness, isn't it just one of those body language things you can't communicate in words until you're past a certain stage? Just have to read his body language and communicate with your own. See how he responds. Being playful is probably the right way to go about it, communicate with your body and see how his responds. This part of the mating ritual isn't intellectual, after all ... it's all Tarzan.

  7. #7

    I know I'm not a boy, buttttt I wanna respond to a few things...

    Dress up, makeup, no reasonable INFJ is gonna mind either way. We are not the "in the know" fashion types, so when you add his being male to the mix, he won't notice anything but whether you look pretty. Just put fabric on, because he might notice nudity.

    Keeping in mind inferior functions is the best way to be perceptively kind & thoughtful.
    Ours being Se:

    * Do avoid the touching until it's going somewhere (with words) first.
    Casual touch feels pretty intimate to us, so without clear definition of the nature of the relationship he may withdraw if you initiate even if he is super interested... because again, it feels pretty intimate to us.

    * Reduce surprises.
    When I dated an ENFP, what drove me nuts was the surprises. Not a happy birthday, mind, but last minute changes of plans.
    We would be going to one restaurant, and then next thing you know he's parked at another... and he didn't appreciate my lack of effervescent enjoyment at changes he found exhilarating.

    When you make a plan with an INFJ and fail to carry it through, you loose major points, and eventually respect. Whether or not they understand your intentions, it still erodes their opinion of you.

    If you think you might change your mind about something, tell him you don't know, and don't commit to any particular action... that way he can stay ready for whatever your answer ends up being. Unless it's too late.

    Our inferior Se can really bite at us when we aren't prepared to deal with something in the environment.
    The more "fun" something seems, the more warning he should have ahead of time.
    This especially goes for group events... don't let mutual friends drag him into endless uncomfortable experiences, if you want to show him you care.


    * Don't expect him to love you back with your love language. You use Si to some extent, we just don't. An INFJ is more likely to forget a chair exists than to pull it out for you, but if he remembers on some occasions realize it took a Herculean effort to get the timing of that mindfulness right.
    Really think about Si and what it means, and then realize that his is in dead last 8th place in the function stack.
    On polls in the past, INFJs on this forum answered the Love Language question with Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch (from intimate ones) right at the top. I'm fairly certain that Acts of Service was at the bottom, but in any case, you can casually bring the subject up to him and find out what his top 2 are. That will give you a better idea of what he naturally recognizes as love, although with time & effort everyone can learn to translate the other languages.

    * Try not to play the male lead... this has nothing to do with type, and everything to do with penis.
    Sure you can be the Extrovert pulling on his innie self, and that works, but just know where to draw the line and let him find his own voice. Because otherwise the whole arrangement can end up really lopsided... And the last thing any self respecting lady wants to realize is that her SO thinks of her similarly to his mommy! Those relationships are out there, trust me.

    A year doesn't sound too short for getting engaged. If in a year you don't know a person well enough to say "yes", then either you're incompatible, or the dating time was wasted not getting to know each other.
    However, you say you haven't been in a relationship before, and that's a hiccup as far as fast progression goes. There's stuff to learn the hard way in relationships that doesn't have anything to do with type. Thankfully, you probably have a good foundation in forgiveness, but if you don't, look into some resources on how to accomplish it quickly & effectively (I can provide links if you need)... because honestly, you're going to need it. Penis bearers within relationships require more forgiveness than your average person.
    Clear communication is another big one. Practice talking about difficult subjects before anyone gets upset.

    And make sure you don't commit to someone just because you want a different life. The grass really, really, isn't always greener.
    Make sure you remain happy with him after you get together, before you commit to anything. It's not a kindness between two people if they keep going just because the ball is already rolling.


    Anyway, If/when you do want to get touchy, use your playfulness to advantage.
    We inferior Se types have a somewhat childlike appreciation for stuff like tossing a ball back and forth, pool noodle fights, mini drink sword fights, board games, ect ect.
    Just make sure it's not possibly dangerous, like no pushing into a pool, and he's likely to enjoy physical games with you, and it helps breach that ground between no-touch and...
    chickydoda and odinthor thanked this post.

  8. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    It would probably help to know what the rest of his social life looks like. What level of attention do you get compared to the rest of the ladies he socialises with? With me, this is super easy - if I talk to you at all IRL, I'm interested. Most INFJs are more social so you'd need to see how they handle the rest of their entourage.

    As for attractiveness, isn't it just one of those body language things you can't communicate in words until you're past a certain stage? Just have to read his body language and communicate with your own. See how he responds. Being playful is probably the right way to go about it, communicate with your body and see how his responds. This part of the mating ritual isn't intellectual, after all ... it's all Tarzan.
    We talk for an hour or two everyday. I don't know if he talks to other women, hes encouraged me to date a few other guys, to see if I actually know what I want. I'm not into it though, I want HIM.

    Thanks for the other advice, good stuff :-)
    Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by chickydoda View Post
    hes encouraged me to date a few other guys, to see if I actually know what I want.

    Eeeek!
    Not a good sign, unless he's like 40 and so mature he doesn't blink at a challenge of any kind.

    But an INFJ saying "date other people"?
    That's code for... letting you down easy :(
    VinnieBob, Facile, odinthor and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Sour Roses View Post
    Eeeek!
    Not a good sign, unless he's like 40 and so mature he doesn't blink at a challenge of any kind.

    But an INFJ saying "date other people"?
    That's code for... letting you down easy :(
    I know it sounds really bad and like something someone would say to someone they don't like...but... we went to the same self help/Christian conference together (it's how we met), and one of the topics they covered was dating. The lady taking it, who is a therapist, suggested that we date "like the Americans" and hang out with several people of the opposite gender at once, so we learnt dating skills and how to tell what we like.

    The thing is, I already knew what I was looking for. I met five guys that I liked. One was married and made it very clear to me that he was not interested (I kind of flirted with him for a bit because when I mentioned he had a wife I wasn't sure if I heard him properly so I wanted confirmation), and then I felt like the other four also liked me. Two were way too young. I asked out the remaining two guys and one said yeah let's hang out, and the other one said that he wanted to focus on God for a while, so maybe later?

    So maybe he wants me to meet other guys, maybe he doesn't? he's extremely mature and laid back. Maybe he just sees me as a friend? he said he wanted to get to know me before dating. He's really sweet. My initial response after spending some time with him was that I wanted to keep in touch and maybe set him up with a friend, because he has all the qualities that a girl could possibly want in a guy. Then I thought, that's stupid, if I want to keep him in my life, why don't I date him? Like, if I had to give him a ranking out of 10, I'd give him like a 50/10. I was a bit thrown off, because he's not my usual type, but I think I was being too fussy. This guy is still gorgeous- tall, slim, friendly looking, pleasant, soft voice, well groomed, dresses well but quirky style, perfect teeth, beautiful smile, kind eyes.

    Like if he does like me, I'm not sure what he even sees in me. My life is a bit of a mess, and my body has a lot of room for improvement. He could do sooooo much better. I wouldn't blame him.


     
Page 1 of 13 1 2 3 11 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] ENFP female wanting to meet INTJ male in Alabama
    By Manicpixiegrl in forum INTJ Forum - The Scientists
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 04-27-2016, 11:51 PM
  2. [INFP] INFJ female wanting to pursue INFP male
    By chocolat in forum INFP Forum - The Idealists
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-19-2014, 10:31 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:15 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0