Okay I would really appreciate any insight on confusing behaviour from an ESFP friend of mine. Please note I'm an ENFJ so my attitude towards friendship would be that of an ENFJ and may be part of the problem. I think it might be a personality thing and where else to ask than an INFJ subforum.
We were good friends a long time ago (8 years ago so maybe not that long haha) but experienced the following problems that sank the friendship.
1) Long distance friendship, so we don't see each other regularly.
2) Co-dependent behaviour from my side, but I'm not like that anymore.
3) Hot and cold behaviour from his side. This is what makes me confused even to this day.
He would be a very caring and good friend one day, and then it's suddenly like were not friends at all. I broke contact with him after two years of friendship due to him ignoring me and this hot/cold behaviour. But he still makes contact with me even to this day. He's not using me for anything and it seems like he's friends with me as a person.
I'm not in contact with him but then he would message me out of the blue and we would chat, and then he would suddenly ignore me. Or he would like stuff of mine on social media but when I try to talk to him I get ignored.
He's 25 so I don't think it's an immaturity thing. I still want to be good friends with him but I'm fine if he doesn't want to be. I just don't like getting ignored and not knowing where I stand with someone.
I don't really know what to do or think about this. I could doorslam him again but I can bet you a $1000 he will make contact again. He even invited me to his birthday and told me I could stay with him (live about 400 miles from each other). So any advice on this?
There's a small possibility of me working with him in the middle east but I don't even have half the trust in him to make such a move, as I know I will be emotionally dependent on him in the beginning phase.
So any advice? Is the problem with me?