I've been feeling very sad and stressed about my life situation lately and don't know what I should do next. I'm about to graduate college this spring with a degree in a field I have no interest in (funny to realize that now lol I know) and need to get a job and start paying off my student debts and figure out my life. My initial plan was to work for a year after graduation and go back to college while working, but I feel like I can't trust myself to make the correct choices anymore.
I've grown apart from most friends over the last years too. They are lovely people, but I just don't know how to relate to things others like anymore and have a hard time making deeper connections with people around me. I go out and hang out with friends but I'm kind of on autopilot. I feel like on a deep level I never truly fit in with anyone and no one really knows me. I'm unable to date/be sexual with anyone because I'm insecure about my body and feel too ashamed of my current life situation to let anyone close, even though I feel lonely and would like a close romantic relationship with someone.
I've had some health issues after being diagnosed with a chronic condition (nothing life threatening, but it does make daily life a bit harder at times). Also my parents divorced this year after 35+ years of marriage and are selling the family home I grew up in. I know this shouldn't affect me that much since I don't live at home full time anymore and am supposed to be an adult, but it's confusing and hard to deal with.
I don't know how everyone else around me seems to be doing so fine with their lives and seems content with what they are doing. I feel empty for not having a life purpose, and am starting to find it hard to just get out of bed and got to college/work when I don't know what it's for. I feel like I've lost my passion for life and I don't know what I should be doing next. I want to make a positive difference in the world and help people, but I don't know how I'm gonna do that when I can barely get myself to do the bare minimum.
I don't know if this makes that much sense but I just feel very lost and alone. Not sure what I should do next and how to stay motivated to keep trying when everything seems kind of pointless. I feel like everything's been going kind of wrong in the last few years (education, finances, family, friends, love life, physical health, mental health etc.) and I feel so overwhelmed :/
I don't know what I expect people to say, I just feel like I need to let out some steam by writing this out.