[INFJ] INFJ help with SE

INFJ help with SE

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This is a discussion on INFJ help with SE within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hey guys, new profile so not exactly new to these forums. Had a profile a few years ago, but never ...

  1. #1

    INFJ help with SE

    Hey guys, new profile so not exactly new to these forums. Had a profile a few years ago, but never really went anywhere with it, so just thought I'd start over. Buy yeah hi.

    Sort of venting here, but also advice welcome. I am an INFJ 4w5. I've gone through some significant life changes in the past year. My INFP friend likes to remind me that I've made really remarkable progress considering what my background is and what my life has been like. She's not wrong, but I guess the future oriented idealist in me just can't be satisfied, amiright guys? I know I'm currently in a rut and I think that rut is really starting to get to me. I know I'll calm down, but at the exact moment I'm writing this I'm just buggin' out with frustration. I think I could probably use healthy jolt to me SE. I know I'm too lodged in my head right now, but at the same time, I just can't get myself started. Do you guys have any sound advice or anything for when you feel this way? I'm especially frustrated because when I look at stuff about SE in regards to INFJ's it's like this, that, the other thing or basically anything that gets your body moving. And I'm like hold on a sec, my job is actually really physical. I'm a visual merchandiser for a furniture company, I set up all kinds of crazy displays, that require me to lift heavy objects, climb on ladders, use power tools and work with my hands. I also do a ton of walking. Wouldn't this satisfy my SE? Or is it because I do this for work and there's a lot of creativity and even mental energy also going into the physicality of my job, that it doesn't exactly count? Like do I gotta just SE for the sake of SE, y'know? Like yeah I walk around a lot for work, but like I should probably just go for a walk with no other point than to walk? Ugh like going for a walk sounds so simple and yet I'm like, is that really it, do I really have to go for a walk? I don't want to walk! Ugh!

    Does anyone have anything to add?
    Paper Shade thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Engaging Se is generally stress-inducing for INFJ, unless it's very mild an noninvasive by nature. What type of Se calms you down is really more up to you to decide. It sounds like the ways you use Se at work cause stress, not help you get out of stress. In general, the best way to relax from a high stress state is to work in reverse of the stack....start with something mildly Se, like music or a calm environment are common starting points, then work your way into mild use of Ti, like solving a relatively simple puzzle or playing a game. Then you move up to Fe, such as chatting with a trusted friend or family member, or perhaps being on this forum, or analysis of behaviors (this also fits in with Ti). Then finally, engage in Ni again, day dreaming or determining a future vision you wish to work towards. As you move up the stack you should start feeling better.

  3. #3

    I guess that's just my thing, SE is stressful to me. I can't think of anything that sounds like fun, it's just all a chore. I know I read somewhere that suggested cooking. And I use to love cooking, now it's just so much work. I got one of those free trials of those meal boxes, I think it was blue apron, recently. And for a moment it felt really good, and I was like, oh yeah I really do miss this. But then after seeing all the dishes it created for me (I HATE doing dishes) it just stressed me out again.
    Sour Roses thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Se isn't really an action, it's a way of thinking about action.

    Just ponder this... people of all different types manage to move their bodies, and see and smell stuff, on a pretty regular basis, and yet we wouldn't be thinking they're engaging Se only, right? It isn't about the senses or movement in itself, it's a way of thinking about those things.

    We have a strong perception function - Ni, which is perfectly capable of helping us daydreamingly drift through physical tasks without having to engage Se at all. All of the perception functions have some connection to the senses and outer world, the question is what parts they focus on.
    That's why so much of the advice about Se use is pretty shortsighted, and fairly useless.
    For the most part, all INJs are going to be weak in Se until they're of a sufficient age and life experience that the changes come about more naturally.
    Dr. AJ Drenth (of Personality Junkie) in his book offered a time table of function development for the types - tertiary functions develop the most through the late 20's - early 40's, and inferior functions develop the most through the mid 40's - early 60's. (Note: this is numbers talk, not really my thing, so it might be a touch off, but this is my recollection.)

    Still, we can all try, and push it a bit... just as long as expectations stay reasonable. Anyone who doesn't have trouble with it can't be an INJ.

    The idea with Se is to actually notice what you're looking at, in it's real exterior form. How long can you maintain this in a comfortable, low pressure setting?
    Can you observe Se style thoughts in yourself? What does it sound like?
    Hint: stuff like, "It is what it is".

    It's also helpful (to me) to remember that it's not a refusal to use the inferior that is the frustrating part. Avoiding it is "the happy place"...
    Nope, it's actually using it that is frustrating, because once it turns on we want to do our best, have it all accomplished perfectly, this is the stress that makes using an inferior so hard (for all the types, they want to be great at theirs)… but ours is sensory so it's really obvious when we screw up (to us), even minorly. Ni starts screaming to be done, but Se keeps fighting to do it right. It's a function war of who's in charge, because both can't work concomitantly, according to function theory.

    P.S. I hate dishes too.
    Last edited by Sour Roses; 02-08-2019 at 08:30 PM.
    Kirjuri, odinthor, temptingthesea and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Thanks, That was helpful. I just feel so stuck in my head right now, and I'm trying to figure out what I can do to snap out of it. It's winter. I work a lot. My social life has fallen off the radar. On the one hand it's so simple to say to myself, a walk will actually clear my head.... so just go fricking do it! But I guess that's where the wanting to do it right comes in, because I'm thinking, yeah but it's winter, it's ugly and cold out. Where am I even walking to? what would be the point then? And I just keep getting myself bogged down in that thought process.
    Sour Roses thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by flowerstone View Post
    Thanks, That was helpful. I just feel so stuck in my head right now, and I'm trying to figure out what I can do to snap out of it. It's winter. I work a lot. My social life has fallen off the radar. On the one hand it's so simple to say to myself, a walk will actually clear my head.... so just go fricking do it! But I guess that's where the wanting to do it right comes in, because I'm thinking, yeah but it's winter, it's ugly and cold out. Where am I even walking to? what would be the point then? And I just keep getting myself bogged down in that thought process.
    Problem solved:

    Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Sour Roses View Post
    P.S. I hate dishes too.
    I like doing the dishes... I like pretty much anything that creates order (cleaning, washing dishes, laundry etc.) and dislike everything that creates chaos (cooking...). I generally don't like doing it for lazy others though, lol, before you ask me to do yours But I really enjoy keeping my own place in perfect order.
    Sour Roses, temptingthesea and Paper Shade thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by shadowbroker View Post
    Problem solved:
    At my gym, they even have touch screens with YouTube... Can watch any amount of crap while forcing the body through its paces. Been mostly watching stuff like the Rubin Report, Sam Harris podcasts etc.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    At my gym, they even have touch screens with YouTube... Can watch any amount of crap while forcing the body through its paces. Been mostly watching stuff like the Rubin Report, Sam Harris podcasts etc.
    Dude.... I need that. lol
    Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.

  10. #10
    Unknown


    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    At my gym, they even have touch screens with YouTube... Can watch any amount of crap while forcing the body through its paces. Been mostly watching stuff like the Rubin Report, Sam Harris podcasts etc.
    I only prefer thinking without unnecessary distraction.

    The current state of society is full of distraction. I used to think those we live their life by distracting themselves with useless trivia while waiting for their dead doesn't know how to live their life, especially those who have literally a gym-life, a life that is mostly spent in gym activity and ego masturbation over how their body is looking good. If looking to mirror is not enough for them, they share their body in social media then this picture used in porn website. Everyone is happy for it, right? It's just an example of those who live their life for nothing.

    I really miss a time period that unfortunately I never lived, a time period that only technology is pen and people are freer than now. Now, nearly everything has the potential for distraction; smartphones for example: I see young people walking while focusing on their smartphone. Even cars have a screen these days. Wow. These people then go home and watch something. No time to think because some people think for others and share information. Our new diseases: Opinions. Thanks to the information age, information is easy to share and access. People believe anything they learned because the source of information seems expert in their field. For example, once my friend showed me a youtube video about masons that found a way to communicate with spirits. It's clearly BS, right? My friend didn't believe it because the guy who made the video has more than 5k or something subscriber therefore he is worthy to be trustable according to him and it's about masons (he thinks they are expert about everything) therefore the information he shared must be true. I laughed and shared my opinion about why it's probably BS and advised him not to believe everything he learned otherwise he would try contacting with spirits by following a recipe that is shared in the video. Wow. Maybe spirits are real and there is a way to contact them but I have no reason to believe and risk my life for it but unfortunately some people disagree. lmao

    Now people learn from "experts" to become an expert themselves (knowledge is power, right? nope, not quite) by believing every information these people share. Learning is okay but what matters is; an ability to find out the validity of information and being able to use information properly which most people lacks therefore society secretly suiciding while people live their life for nothing.

    I stated, "people live their life for nothing" and I'm people too therefore I live my life for nothing too so who am I to judge, right? No one chose to be born therefore they can live their life however they want as long as they won't prevent people from living the life they want but no matter what, no one will have a really meaningful life anyway because no matter what they do, what they did won't be permanent. Yet, some people want to be part of history just because they can't just admit they are nothing and will be forgotten. They think they will die when they are forgotten therefore they want to be remembered. What's so wrong about being forgotten is beyond me. Maybe I will realize the reason during my next exercise. Maybe I'm wrong to think like these.


     
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