[INFJ] Can an infj be manger in the world how it is? How can it be like?

Can an infj be manger in the world how it is? How can it be like?

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This is a discussion on Can an infj be manger in the world how it is? How can it be like? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I know the answer can be obvious, but I would like to read some insights and thoughts about it, preferable ...

  1. #1
    INFJ

    Can an infj be manger in the world how it is? How can it be like?

    I know the answer can be obvious, but I would like to read some insights and thoughts about it, preferable by personal experiences or lived circumstances...


    Maybe before I jump to this concerned I should had made some other threads as a preamble, but hope this help :)


    Right now I'm in a part of my life where I need to settle down on my professional life in order to focus more on my purpose. Sounds contradicting but as a J (head-strong one) I need to declutter the things that absorb time and attention, and economical stability is a major concern in my life, always have been.


    I've been following a professional path in something that I like but not what I love, when I learned I don't love that path as I thought I did, I stop being great at it, since then I've been trying add-ons on my career trying to aligned to what I love and at this point I have 10 years of an overqualified resume, doing things just because I know how to do them, and starting to feel insecure about what I know and wanting to have time for my own stuff and the things I love that represent little income…


    As I said, economical stability has been a major issue for me. I've never suffer from living on the streets or the lack of basic things that money can buy but I depend entirely on my own living in my home-country where everything is an struggle and instable (I think the whole world is as a matter of fact) and until last year I finally got some peace of mind with money, and debts, and basic stability. With that variable out of the equation, my next move was to focus on my purpose path (things I love) and move towards to it. What I love is not clear yet though and working 10 hrs a day to maintain ''the stability'' not helping much. Also I'm too scare to jump into it right now when I barely can breathe with my income and go back to debts and sort of things.


    I've been offer to be a store manager to an Elite store (that’s the reason of this threard), that's supposed to be the next step in my career when you have a resume like mine in my country (or leave the country). I’m quite interested because it can grand me a solid stability to pursue my path...


    But here's the THING: INFJ
    Dealing with people, shallow people and environment, long hours and major responsibilities to focus on that absorb lots of energy. I make emphasis on the ''ELITE'' part because aside from INFJ, I have little respect for people with money specially in a 3rd world country where I'm from, that those people don’t respect anything but money, gained either fair or strange affairs, and treat the rest of the people as they were nothing but slaves and the earth owes them. And I don’t know how to hide it.


    I am a extraverted and strong-Ti-J INFJ under development with undeveloped Fe: compassion and patience specially. I forgot/not very interested being around ''elite'': I become very introverted, aloof, I'm even perceived as I have a superiority attitude which is a detriment to myself.
    I know this is moral issue. Strong values that I can even put a name on them but basically controls me, but I may need this opportunity to solidify my current professional career and help me to jump in to my purpose, but kind of unsure and scare on how to manage myself on being a manager...


    Does all this resonate in a way with someone?
    Paper Shade thanked this post.



  2. #2

    @fall I used to be a manager in a cinema complex for 3 years, so perhaps my experiences can help you a little bit. Sure, it wasn't a job managing a high class store however I did face the same challenges you might be facing if you would decide on taking the job.

    If you are going to work as manager (probably middle/operational management, no?) then prepare yourself for the fact that you will need to adapt to some degree. Your superiors will give you rules & guidelines and you will be the example for the people you manage. If you feel you don't want to adapt, then don't even start.

    You will probably are asked to do stuff you don't like doing too, but I say....make the best of it and if you can adapt their orders in a way that you feel better about it and they are still happy with what you did then do that.

    Just like in a store in a cinema you deal with people constantly. When the guests were sitting in the theatre I had to deal with my co-workers, suppliers and people from head office. Luckly for me a big chunk of my job consisted of doing (financial) administration. So that gave me a break from peopling. Over the years I also trained my team to be more independent and to think for themselves. As a result I could take a step back and become less hands on as a manager. This gave me time to recharge.

    Working as a manager also meant I had to change a bit what I did during my spare time. I allocated more time for relaxing than ever before and yes it did impact my social life. As an introvert you need me-time, but you probably know that.

    Another thing with people: expect that anything & everything can and will happen. Every singly bit of known behavior you will face and you will have to deal with.....patiently yet firmly. Again, you are the role model for your employees, you represent the company you work for and you are the one who ultimately makes the decisions. That's why you need to seem firm and full with confidence, even when you're not. When you look unsure or insecure it will rub off on your employees or it will undermine your position.
    You are the captain of the ship!

    Having said that:

    I loved working as a manager and I have zero regrets about my time there. The experience made me grow immensely as a person in so many ways: communication, people skills, administration, organizing things, improvisation, my confidence grew etc etc etc.

    And don't feel worried about being an INFJ & being a manager. This INFJ was good at it, my co-workers loved my style of management. They said it was always very respectful, kind, honest and loose when it could/firm when it needed to be. I think in time you will excell in people management. If you say Fe is underdeveloped it will be a challenge at first, but boy managing can give your Fe a boost.

    If you are having difficulties with making a decisions just look at it from a logical (Ti) point of view.

    What have you got to gain and lose by taking the job?
    What have you got to gain and lose by not taking the job?

  3. #3

    Personally, I would only be manager of an organization with an extreme holistic ethos or of a nonprofit working towards a specific goal I believe in deep in my bones. INFJs are kind of in a catch-22 in that we see so much that we don't always have a clue what to do with ourselves but we're also way more valuable as leaders than as worker bees or lower management peons with mere symbolic power.

    I realize your financial stability is going to be the greatest concern for you and, to be frank, as a bachelor with a great living situation and not a lot of financial needs, I can't relate very well. But, all the same, I think plenty of brilliant and ultimately successful INFJs lived in relative misery for some time as they pursued the work they had to do.

  4. #4

    Doubtful that any single person could do it much less groups unless there is an act of God that allowed things to be set on the right path as this world is pretty fucked right now. If the human mind and the ways that people do things could be fixed all the other problems in this world will pretty much fix themselves.

  5. #5
    INFJ

    @yippy nr


    Thank you, good inputs you have given. I’ve been Ti-ing a bit already :) and I will add up those 2 questions.
    I think my biggest concert would be dealing with clients/costumers. I’m more practical/hands-on type of managers more than a diplomatic/board and breakfast meetings type. These types of clients like to be pampered and praised, I guess here is where I will need to adapt…
    My Fe sucks, the absorbing energy part works as heaven but I react to them in automatic. Hypocrisy, despotism, contempt and much more gets the hulk out of me.


    Quote Originally Posted by the_dubious_rogue View Post
    Personally, I would only be manager of an organization with an extreme holistic ethos or of a nonprofit working towards a specific goal I believe in deep in my bones. INFJs are kind of in a catch-22 in that we see so much that we don't always have a clue what to do with ourselves but we're also way more valuable as leaders than as worker bees or lower management peons with mere symbolic power.
    Totally agree. Not sure if I understand what you mean by catch-22.

    Quote Originally Posted by the_dubious_rogue View Post
    I realize your financial stability is going to be the greatest concern for you and, to be frank, as a bachelor with a great living situation and not a lot of financial needs, I can't relate very well. But, all the same, I think plenty of brilliant and ultimately successful INFJs lived in relative misery for some time as they pursued the work they had to do.
    Well... yes. Each one of us comes with its SWOT, I'm aware that money (and everything around it) is one on one of the last 3... not sure which one is, either a weakness, opportunity or threats. And I admit I'm afraid walking through that process when I have already taste a bit of what it is like.


    Quote Originally Posted by The Edwardian Spirit View Post
    Doubtful that any single person could do it much less groups unless there is an act of God that allowed things to be set on the right path as this world is pretty fucked right now. If the human mind and the ways that people do things could be fixed all the other problems in this world will pretty much fix themselves.
    I’m not sure if I follow you right, but in the meantime I would like to say that the human mind is something more like to be improved and evolve more than fixed. Everything what’s happening right now is part of the process, and until we don’t get it and evolve to it will be worsen or longer. In a personal believe we are just in the middle of a battle field that’s not even ours we just the peons... I guest is a topic I'd like to start in a different thread.
    yippy nr 2 thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by fall View Post
    @yippy nr
    Thank you, good inputs you have given. I’ve been Ti-ing a bit already :) and I will add up those 2 questions.
    I think my biggest concert would be dealing with clients/costumers. I’m more practical/hands-on type of managers more than a diplomatic/board and breakfast meetings type. These types of clients like to be pampered and praised, I guess here is where I will need to adapt…
    My Fe sucks, the absorbing energy part works as heaven but I react to them in automatic. Hypocrisy, despotism, contempt and much more gets the hulk out of me.
    My sister is a Fe user too and she works in a H&M store as a visual merchandiser. Like yourself she takes no liking towards customers and she rather just not deal with them, yet it's a store....it has customers so she must. My sis vents a lot of her frustration in work breaks and in conversations with friends & family.

    So basically, if customers bring the hulk out of you, let The Hulk (TM) smash things when you're off work. Not expressing your frustration will be unwise and unhealthy.
    fall thanked this post.

  7. #7

    I am not a manager, but I see what happens at work, the staff and the customers, plus the other managers. Their breakfast meetings, relationships good and bad. I think the question is on a case-by-case basis.

    If you already know the environment you will work in, the people for example, that will be useful. You would be prepared. But if it's new, be cautious. However, my own managers are not perfect and there is always room to learn anyway. If you are not originally good with people, you can study. I do see management as highly rewarding even personally: facing fears, building strength, it will be a valuable experience after.
    I think it can be just as tough for other personalities because first, no one is perfect, mistakes are possible, and some people have a blindspot; plus people cannot necessarily be controlled--you may have coworkers that can never be happy [with you or anything]. Be prepared for being hated, as it is possible lol. But you will live.

    I had got the inkling at an old job, that I myself could be manager--and in the year, I learnt that I could also succeed in the job: it did not tire me. Physical, relations, finances, etc. But had it been in another department, say a place where there is a likelihood of crime, I may have been unsure to take it on.
    And more importantly, had it been an offer for the company I work for now, I would have turned it down. The 'work culture' is very social, unusual by my standards, and I know I cannot keep up. Over the year I had also learnt many things about myself, on what I must say no to, etc. This is what I mean by case-by-case. I imagine many of my preferences are personal, and have nothing to do with being INFJ. We all have our quirks.

    Even outside of being a manager, you would have had to face similar challenges with people as an ordinary employee. Perhaps there are things you can use from these experiences or perhaps you can find ways to continue to polish your skills in these areas (some events are spontaneous obviously, you never know what will happen). Personally, I have found my own tricks in dealing with people, and I just continue to build or refine on that repertoire... Positive thinking works well Know you can get the help you need if you need it.
    Last edited by raschel; 06-29-2019 at 09:38 PM.
    fall thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I've not done managing, but have been in and out of leading groups of people for hobby groups.

    Most of the time, I'm my own worst enemy there. I've had a few problem people I haven't been able to handle, but in hindsight, it was often me not stepping in soon enough, firm enough, and trusting my instincts about what they were up to instead of all the crap they gave me....rather than (my projected fear) that I had suddenly turned into this tyrannical dictator person who couldn't tell left from right. Naaah, man. I'm not that kind of person, and I've walked the walk enough times I can trust that now.

    That was managing my own people, mind you. As far as handling customers (in a retail setting)...I kind of just put on this mask and let nothing bother me. Customers were crazy sometimes; I trusted the rest of my team had my back for the true insanities; otherwise I relied a lot on empathizing with the angry customers over trying to argue them down, which seemed to help take the bite out of the worst of them. And just in general knowing, it's not about me personally. I'm just a cog in the machine. They're actually upset about this product or that deal or this later doctor appointment or their daughter having a divorce or WHATEVER...not me. I'm a little leaf fluttering through their life, and I'll try to make it a good one while I'm here; they'll forget about me and I can forget about them, once I've done my part to get them taken care of in the context of the business.

    So, just my two cents and experiences. Not sure if that will help you in your decision, but I wish ye luck! I'm still figuring out the piece about a lucrative career vs. getting a career that I really love, so I'll just add this consideration--with more money comes the ability to transfer to your career of the heart sometime on down the line more comfortably. (Just don't forget what that money is for and blow it on other things first--unless that also makes you happy!) On the other hand, I'm finding having a career that lines up with my interests is very important in not blowing all my precious INFJ energy and getting burned out.

    Is there a requirement for how long you spend time at this job after you take it? I'm a believer in trying before buying, so to speak, so maybe you could sign on with the knowledge you can duck out again if it's not for you. Then you'll maybe also have some nice money and experience for your pockets before embarking on what you really want to pursue. (On the other hand, if what you really want to pursue can be found by taking some classes or doing some volunteer work or whatever--try that! Maybe it can steadily grow into your main staple over time, while the managing job gets you some moolah.)
    Lady of Clockwork, Kirjuri, yippy nr 2 and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ

    @Aizar Woooha! Thank you for stepping into my mind!

    Most of the time, I'm my own worst enemy there. I've had a few problem people I haven't been able to handle, but in hindsight, it was often me not stepping in soon enough, firm enough, and trusting my instincts about what they were up to instead of all the crap they gave me....rather than (my projected fear) that I had suddenly turned into this tyrannical dictator person who couldn't tell left from right. Naaah, man. I'm not that kind of person, and I've walked the walk enough times I can trust that now.
    I’ve been doing middle/operational management along these years… and at the end I’ve been doing the whole job or getting upset/frustrated seeing the shitty job people under my management been doing.

    Taking things personal is another chapter of the (my) book, I will take your inputs into high consideration. I have major issues on wearing the mask but I guess is the only way to survive.

    Quote Originally Posted by raschel View Post
    Be prepared for being hated, as it is possible lol. But you will live.
    My brother calls me the ‘’Iron Lady’’ LOL
    I laugh but it hurts.
    Thank you for the positive vibe.

    So, just my two cents and experiences. Not sure if that will help you in your decision, but I wish ye luck! I'm still figuring out the piece about a lucrative career vs. getting a career that I really love, so I'll just add this consideration--with more money comes the ability to transfer to your career of the heart sometime on down the line more comfortably. (Just don't forget what that money is for and blow it on other things first--unless that also makes you happy!) On the other hand, I'm finding having a career that lines up with my interests is very important in not blowing all my precious INFJ energy and getting burned out.
    To bring some context up here (@raschel) and validating all the inputs received so far (Thansks) I’m graduated from Architecture but been doing the path Interior Design, Visual merchandizing (@Yippy nr 2) and Lighting design… those are the add-ons I mentioned before. But what really makes me happy (if I want to linked it to that path) is craftsmanship. DO/FIX/REPURPOUSE STUFF WITH MY HANDS. I’d say it would be safe to align that with my current career and design/create artefacts. That takes time, time to developed, to create, time to grow in order to run like serious biz that I can live on.

    Red flag here: is it what I really love/want? Or it is just Se playing around and enjoying time?

    There’s a lot of more Se activities I’ve trying to make a living, inflating that CV and taking more time (Teaching, photography, Travel agent, writing and much more and more interests…)

    I have got into the conclusion that in order to pursue a purpose and personal development, the functions (along other pieces of the puzzle beside MBTI) needs to be well balance and in its proper place (or in the path to). That’s why I cannot get/see what it is that I’m willing to fight for the rest of my life. That’s why I stop taking more courses (been doing some volunteering though), started looking for a job for a fix income to help me be stable but one the give me time to walk into my path for good and I’m afraid that this opportunity steal the time I need neither want to be the castway sailor that have given many opportunities to be saved waiting for the ‘‘actual GOD’’ to save him (it is a saying in my country :) )

    So, yes, the job would be store manager for a Famous Design Furniture Brand store… there’s always the 3month trial period.

    Thank you all!
    Aizar and yippy nr 2 thanked this post.


     

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