[INFJ] question about the INFJ "door slam"

question about the INFJ "door slam"

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This is a discussion on question about the INFJ "door slam" within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; EDIT:...

  1. #1

    question about the INFJ "door slam"

    Last edited by mention it; 07-16-2019 at 11:48 AM.

  2. #2

    Ghost you? How? By not explaining their actions, or stop there of?
    Come point blank out and ask.

    Door slammed? But still replying but not more intimately?
    That’s not a door slam.

    So, it seems to me that you should make your intentions known to this INFJ, in whatever they are.

  3. #3

    Last edited by mention it; 07-16-2019 at 11:48 AM.

  4. #4

    If you do something offensive or disappointing once to an INFJ, it will be seen as being part of your repertoire--in other words, apologize all you want for the one occurrence, it will nevertheless be seen as a "live" aspect of you, potentially able to reoccur at any time, and the apologies will be suspected of being attempts at cynical manipulation. If the thing was sufficiently offensive or disappointing, it consequently means that you're permanently out of the ball game. Being out of the ball game doesn't mean, however, that the other person won't take an abstract interest now and then in checking up on how "the team" is doing in other venues.

    Not all INFJs will be as severe. On the principle of "every dog gets one bite," one occurrence--one bite--will by some be tolerated as being part of a learning process. But it depends on individual circumstances--the nature of those concerned, the nature of the offense, and possible mitigating circumstances. But other INFJs will always say, "Nope. Outta here," on the "there are lots of fish in the sea" principle.

    If this INFJ relents, he/she will approach you. You approaching him/her will just re-open the wound.
    mention it v2 thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by mention it v2 View Post
    They wouldn't reply to my texts asking where they were because I hadn't heard from them, and it wasn't until I accused them of playing games (because I honestly thought that's what they were doing), that they responded and told me why they were ignoring me. At that point obviously, I felt horrible (and still do), tried to apologize/make my intentions clear, but haven't heard from them since. But like I said they haven't blocked me on anything, keep viewing posts I make...etc. So I'm like do they want me to fight for this or do they want me to just go away? It's like I'm getting mixed signals if that makes sense
    With all due honesty, that is truly up to you. If you choose to fight for it, you’ll have your answer. If you choose to let it go, you’ll feel better about your self. If you choose to keep worrying, you’ll feel like heck.

    Me personally—I’d let it go and it will go to where it needs to be.
    Stop beating your self up.
    mention it v2 thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Thank you @Dalien and @odinthor for your responses. They really do mean a lot to me and have helped me sort this in my head. This is my first experience with an INFJ and I feel completely out of my element lol but again thank you very much for taking the time to reply.

    Last edited by mention it; 07-16-2019 at 11:48 AM.
    odinthor and Dalien thanked this post.

  7. #7

    An INFJ door slam is basically saying, I know I’m here to serve, but I either do or don’t know how yet. It’s saying, “I have a lot on my plate (we always do) and you’re not helping me move forward”. Not only that, you wounded me and I would take a bullet for you. Goodbye; forever.” And forever for this type isn’t a metaphor.
    odinthor thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Oh for hell's sake, why delete your messages, I wanted to read
    Lady of Clockwork thanked this post.


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