[INFJ] Bringing out the self

Bringing out the self

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This is a discussion on Bringing out the self within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Do INFJs tend to bring out ones inner self during conversation? Im aware that we enjoy endulging in deep, personal ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Bringing out the self

    Do INFJs tend to bring out ones inner self during conversation? Im aware that we enjoy endulging in deep, personal conversation which seems to intimidate others, is this because most people hide behind their masks and are afraid to be themselves?
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  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    All speculation :P no scientific evidence, just personal experience and understanding.

    In my experience, through my own and reading what other INFJ's have written, is that when an INFJ seems to become extroverted, like usually we are quiet and reserved and have trouble with public speaking, but when we get in the zone and show our true selves, we become assertive, expressive, and charming. But it has to be something we care about. We can only show ourselves when we feel safe or if what we truly care about is up for discussion.

    For a more personal one-on-one, we take a long time to open up, but when we do, we explode that makes a nuke look like nothing. It can overwhelm anybody. Not because they don't care, but because it is so much to process at once.

    And for some its just to scary to be that vulnerable.

    IMO the self is your heart. And when you show it you let all the shields down, and leave yourself open to heartbreak/rejection. People have a good reason to shield up. It's letting the other person know that you would never hurt them. Then leave it up to them. :)

    Hope i made sense and helped.

    your name makes me want to buy an orange slushy from the ice cream truck :).

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I try to let my inner self shine through during conversations, but I'll kind of hold back if the other person gets uncomfortable. I don't mind the weird looks I might get because I've already been called all sorts of bad names. Even though I would like to show more of myself in certain instances, I don't want to alienate others. Everyone's different with their respective boundaries, so I try to respect that.

    Many people I know tend to hide behind their masks, and I can't blame them. Sometimes people get treated unfairly because they speak their mind and it differs from dominant perspectives. There's always a risk when you want to open yourself up in that way, and for some people it's simply not worth it.
    LyricalWhip, Vivid Melody and confused girl28 thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    As simple as it might sound, much of conveying our true selves relies on posture and being emotionally warm in our communication style (well empathy and listening well never hurt when accompanied with smiling and 'tell me more' style questions).

    Well, it seems clear that we wont relate to everyone (or vice versa), yet all too often this might say more about the other person if we strive to convey our true selves and they cannot relate or do not wish to associate fully.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Not really the case with me. I tend to self-monitor, hold back, and keep a lot of thoughts to myself that I feel wouldn't be received well by the other party. With family and close friends I sometimes let go but even then it takes the right situation and atmosphere for me to feel that way.

  6. #6

    Hmmm interesting. For me I think it works this way, I will show you a bit of my inner self and see how you react to that, then I will show some more and more each time.
    I try to be myself and don´t hold back but it takes a time to build that kind of trust. I think I need to make sure I am around the right kind of people.

    Here, on PerC, for example, I feel like I can be myself and say what I think (most of the time) but in real life, I feel like holding back, remain silent and observe until I feel it is safe enough.
    LyricalWhip, GoodOldDreamer and Vivid Melody thanked this post.


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