[INFJ] Why are we, INFJs attracted to sadness so much? - Page 2

Why are we, INFJs attracted to sadness so much?

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This is a discussion on Why are we, INFJs attracted to sadness so much? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Personally, I'm inclined to blame it on some sort of chemical imbalance. Just kidding. Sort of. I suppose that I ...

  1. #11
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Personally, I'm inclined to blame it on some sort of chemical imbalance. Just kidding. Sort of.

    I suppose that I blame my infatuation with sadness on the fact that it's the most accessible emotion that I can experience. I know it sounds all gloomy and emo and whatnot, but because I have difficulty expressing what I'm feeling, my personal relationships tend to suffer, thus leading to sadness, disappointment, etc. Sadness, then, is really just what's most familiar to me.
    Bright Lanterns thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I am not really attracted to sadness or sad things and when I first saw under the INFP description on the jungtypes website that they were supposedly attracted to sad things, I kind of wondered about why that attraction.

    I do not really like dealing with things that evoke strong internal negative feelings in me. I prefer things that evoke thought and insight but I suppose under a few rare circumstances, sadness could do that. I sometimes feel sadness myself but do not find sad things/people beautiful or comfortable generally. Deep inside, I am merry and passionate and I am attracted to things merry/passionate/complex/deep sometimes dark but not really sad.

  3. #13
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Action and reaction.

    The more powerful and longer you experience sadness the more powerful and potent happiness is.

    Sadness is the lack of happiness, it gives you something to supply with happiness :).
    Toristar, Drifloon and Bright Lanterns thanked this post.

  4. #14
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Bright Lanterns View Post
    What do you think about it? Speaking for myself, I find beauty in being sad, even if it hurts so much. I'm longing for a better world where people would live in peace and harmony.
    I know everything begins with ourselves and our environment. So I should smile more often, moreover deep down inside I'd love to hug random people when I walk down the street.
    Instead of going ahead and being a 'storm' I'm sitting in my room and listening to sad bastard kind of music. Showing my emotions is so difficult.
    I don't even willing to change this behaviour, because I find sadness and pain to be comforting.
    I understand everyone, but myself. So would you guys add your thoughts please?
    I'm not attracted to sadness, myself.
    Bright Lanterns thanked this post.

  5. #15
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Haydn View Post
    I am not really attracted to sadness or sad things and when I first saw under the INFP description on the jungtypes website that they were supposedly attracted to sad things, I kind of wondered about why that attraction.

    I do not really like dealing with things that evoke strong internal negative feelings in me. I prefer things that evoke thought and insight but I suppose under a few rare circumstances, sadness could do that. I sometimes feel sadness myself but do not find sad things/people beautiful or comfortable generally. Deep inside, I am merry and passionate and I am attracted to things merry/passionate/complex/deep sometimes dark but not really sad.
    I think out of the INFJs, enneagram 4s would for the most part be attracted to sadness, as there is the identification with one's personal tragedies in life. Fours can also wallow in negative emotions, addictively even. They can seem raw and authentic. It's kind of hard to explain.
    Bright Lanterns thanked this post.

  6. #16
    INFJ

    Because we're always disappointed by how reality never matches the beauty we can imagine in our own minds.

    That and we feel too much. Which if used in the right way can lead to ecstasy. I'm pretty sure I've come closer than most to being in an ecstatic trance a few times.
    Bright Lanterns thanked this post.

  7. #17
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Vanishing Point View Post
    I think out of the INFJs, enneagram 4s would for the most part be attracted to sadness, as there is the identification with one's personal tragedies in life. Fours can also wallow in negative emotions, addictively even. They can seem raw and authentic. It's kind of hard to explain.
    Yes, I did wonder if it was an enneagram 4 thing more so than simply an INFJ or other MBTI type thing. I think you explained what you are trying to say well, and it does seem like some E4s do wallow in negative emotions quite a lot and can seem maudlin to me sometimes.

    Also, I spend quite a lot of time listening to other people's problems but I have never been attracted to their sadness for it's own sake but more to see if I can help them feel better if that is what they want and I tend to want to help them find some sort of solution/resolution so they can move forward as quickly as possible and not be stuck on some negative state.

  8. #18
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by AriesLilith View Post
    I guess that it is because those emotions are often portrayed in a more intense and deep way, and it can be very sincere too.

    Intense emotions appeals to me deeply, so that I might be caught into things that can make me feel intensively like music and movies.
    I wonder if pretty much anyone would be attracted to things that make them feel intensely just because that means through some means they have a way or relating very powerfully to it, it brings up something in them that is very important to them even if it is a source of pain. Some enjoyment in that doesn't really seem mysterious in that light. That something else can bring up a great sadness in you is like something important inside is expressed and allowed to breathe. Sometimes with things that are difficult to express, just relating or feeling something deeply of a like kind is maybe an alternative expression of it. Maybe it's enough that something else expresses what is inside us for us.

    And even, just because it's a feeling of sadness that doesn't have to mean its the sadness itself that is attractive, but maybe there is some warm memory in it. For instance, the memory of a lost love can be very warm, if very sad, and I think anyone looking in on that situation would say what is really attractive there is the warmth or love. Just, one feels pain or sorrow too. I really don't know, but maybe that sorrow becomes familiar in time so that feeling it just reminds you of yourself in a way, and again, there is that warmth in the familiarity and self-likeness.

    Many things are painful though and I think feeling some sadness in it, for example, for a great injustice to someone else, is out of a wanting to give of ourselves or wanting to help, to be of the same mind that another might not have to be alone. That is very compassionate and kind. Maybe there is also some healing for ourselves knowing that in another's sadness, someone else is there who feels what they do, who is with them.
    AriesLilith and Bright Lanterns thanked this post.

  9. #19
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Vanishing Point View Post
    I think out of the INFJs, enneagram 4s would for the most part be attracted to sadness, as there is the identification with one's personal tragedies in life. Fours can also wallow in negative emotions, addictively even. They can seem raw and authentic. It's kind of hard to explain.
    Thanks for the information! I took a few enneagram tests and I ended up being a Four type w/ w Five. It's kind of hard to explain myself indeed! Until now I thought I was a Two , but the test I took was way shorter then.
    Dauntless, Vanishing Point and aquablue205 thanked this post.

  10. #20
    Unknown Personality

    Hm. There is some comfort to it I suppose. Upon reading the title of this thread I instantaneously thought of a quote.
    “The intensest light of reason and revelation combined, can not shed such blazonings upon the deeper truths in man, as will sometimes proceed from his own profoundest gloom. Utter darkness is then his light, and cat-like he distinctly sees all objects through a medium which is mere blindness to common vision. Wherefore have Gloom and Greif been celebrated of old as the selectest chamberlains of knowledge? Wherefore is it, that not to know Gloom and Greif is not to know aught that an heroic man should learn?”— Herman Melville
    Vanishing Point and Bright Lanterns thanked this post.


     
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