[INFJ] Top 5 Things INFJ Women prefer in Men

Top 5 Things INFJ Women prefer in Men

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This is a discussion on Top 5 Things INFJ Women prefer in Men within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Sequel to the Top 5 things Men prefer in Women, I decided to make a thread for the men to ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Top 5 Things INFJ Women prefer in Men

    Sequel to the Top 5 things Men prefer in Women, I decided to make a thread for the men to view. A thanks for helping INFJ women understand what it is that you desire.

    Top 5 Characteristics
    Top 5 Physical Features
    Top 5 Dislikes
    Top 5 Desires


    shoot!
    thatguy, susurration, GreenCoyote and 10 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    mine's would have to be...

    Top 5 Characteristics:
    1) Integrity
    2) Humility
    3) Quiet Strength
    4) Open-minded
    5) Compassionate

    Top 5 Physical Attributes:
    1) Fit/Healthy
    2) Proportionate limbs
    3) Rugged (strong jaw, brow bone, high cheekbones, facial hair)
    4) Deep Voice
    5) Boyish/coy Smile/grin (dimples even better)

    Top 5 Dislikes:
    1) Conceited
    2) Inconsiderate
    3) Impulsive
    4) Doesn't clean up after himself
    5)

    Top 5 Desires:
    1) Volunteers/Helps frequently
    2) Sweetly Thoughtful (some creativity)
    3) Loves to read, watch films (spend quiet time)
    4) Takes pride in his faith/spiritual life
    5) Masculine but aware of being gentle/sensitive

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Ok I'll bite:

    Top 5 Characteristics
    1. Intellectual. If we can't have long and meaningful conversations, I know I'd eventually get bored of the relationship

    2. Optimistic. I'm pessimistic enough for the two of us ;)

    3. Knows how to give as well as take. I'm great at giving and terrible at taking. I often end up in relationships where the person takes and taks without giving anything back and I become resentful somewhere along the line.

    4. Kind-hearted. That's something I'm really attracted to.

    5. Right mix of seriousness and playfulness. I need some playfulness to balance me out but I get frustrated if I can never have a serious conversation with that person.


    Top 5 Physical Features
    1. A great smile. One that radiates unreservedly from within and warms you with it

    2. Dimples. I have a weakness for dimples. It probably has to do with the smile.

    3. Eyes with warmth in them. I'm very disturbed by some people whose eyes are always cold. I feel that warm eyes are more capable of love

    4. Proportionate body

    5. Some amount of neatness and care for appearance. A guy with more skincare products than I do would scare me though.


    Top 5 Dislikes
    1. Cruelty towards others. I absolutely can't stand it.

    2. Dishonesty and cunning. I can't have a relationship with someone I can't trust.

    3. Pessismism. It's ironic I don't like something that I am. But I'm working on becoming a more positive person.

    4. Self-absorption

    5. Violent temper. Yelling at me is the fatest way to ensure you'd be dumped. I'm a peaceful person and I will NOT allow you to treat me this way.


    Top 5 Desires
    1. Good in bed

    2. Affectionate. I live on kisses, hugs and kind words

    3. Have some shared hobbies we can do together

    4. House-trained :p I'm tired of always picking after a guy

    5. Family-oriented. A guy who wants to do nothing but party party party will exhaust and frustrate me

  4. #4
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Top 5 Characteristics:

    Funny
    Independent
    Outgoing
    Hontest
    Calm

    Top 5 Physical Features

    Tall
    White Teeth
    Rugged
    Healthy
    Deep Voice

    Top 5 Dislikes
    Anti social behavior
    Dishonest
    Conformest
    Co Dependent
    Egolistic

    Top 5 Desires

    Shared hobbies (book, tv shows, movies)
    Seriously but with playfullness
    Volunteers
    Open minded
    Not afarid to say whats on their mind.



    This is very Ideal to me, not realtic but a girl can dream :P
    thegirlcandance, TeeJay, CuritadeRana and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Rouge View Post
    Ok I'll bite:

    Top 5 Characteristics
    1. Intellectual. If we can't have long and meaningful conversations, I know I'd eventually get bored of the relationship

    2. Optimistic. I'm pessimistic enough for the two of us ;)

    3. Knows how to give as well as take. I'm great at giving and terrible at taking. I often end up in relationships where the person takes and taks without giving anything back and I become resentful somewhere along the line.

    4. Kind-hearted. That's something I'm really attracted to.

    5. Right mix of seriousness and playfulness. I need some playfulness to balance me out but I get frustrated if I can never have a serious conversation with that person.


    Top 5 Physical Features
    1. A great smile. One that radiates unreservedly from within and warms you with it

    2. Dimples. I have a weakness for dimples. It probably has to do with the smile.

    3. Eyes with warmth in them. I'm very disturbed by some people whose eyes are always cold. I feel that warm eyes are more capable of love

    4. Proportionate body

    5. Some amount of neatness and care for appearance. A guy with more skincare products than I do would scare me though.


    Top 5 Dislikes
    1. Cruelty towards others. I absolutely can't stand it.

    2. Dishonesty and cunning. I can't have a relationship with someone I can't trust.

    3. Pessismism. It's ironic I don't like something that I am. But I'm working on becoming a more positive person.

    4. Self-absorption

    5. Violent temper. Yelling at me is the fatest way to ensure you'd be dumped. I'm a peaceful person and I will NOT allow you to treat me this way.


    Top 5 Desires
    1. Good in bed

    2. Affectionate. I live on kisses, hugs and kind words

    3. Have some shared hobbies we can do together

    4. House-trained :p I'm tired of always picking after a guy

    5. Family-oriented. A guy who wants to do nothing but party party party will exhaust and frustrate me
    i was thinking about putting down alot of the things you said but made them simpler :D - totally concur with affection, warm eyes, intellect, and serious and playfulness (although that's my personal strength but it would be awesome if he had them too) <3
    Rouge and Decoy24601 thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by nikkii View Post
    Top 5 Characteristics:

    Funny
    Independent
    Outgoing
    Hontest
    Calm

    Top 5 Physical Features

    Tall
    White Teeth
    Rugged
    Healthy
    Deep Voice

    Top 5 Dislikes
    Anti social behavior
    Dishonest
    Conformest
    Co Dependent
    Egolistic

    Top 5 Desires

    Shared hobbies (book, tv shows, movies)
    Seriously but with playfullness
    Volunteers
    Open minded
    Not afarid to say whats on their mind.



    This is very Ideal to me, not realtic but a girl can dream :P
    i really liked your answers too! i thought about putting tall, conformist (dislike), and antisocial (dislike) but thought it would have been too much of an expectation. thanks for breaking the ice! it's so nice to be able to be honest about my likes and dislikes since i'm always afraid of offending someone :( or coming off as shallow...which i don't intend! *sigh of relief*

  7. #7
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Quote Originally Posted by keepsake View Post
    i really liked your answers too! i thought about putting tall, conformist (dislike), and antisocial (dislike) but thought it would have been too much of an expectation. thanks for breaking the ice! it's so nice to be able to be honest about my likes and dislikes since i'm always afraid of offending someone :( or coming off as shallow...which i don't intend! *sigh of relief*
    Haha, I so know what you mean but everyone has Ideals. :)
    keepsake thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Top 5 Characteristics:

    Intelligence. You need to be able to challenge me and I in turn should challenge you. I love a guy who knows what he believes, but if a good argument is made, is willing to concede a gracious defeat. If you cannot see yourself sitting in a coffee shop debating the tenants of Marxism, analyzing post-war America or musing over the similarities in various religions, you may not like me much. I enjoy lots of deep conversations about the world and our place in it.

    A quick, witty sense of humor: If you can make me laugh and be playful as well as get a few burns on other people you may be in.

    Independent and outgoing: I enjoy someone who knows what they want out of life, and aren't afraid to put themselves out there. I like people who have a wide circle of friends and business associates. Anyone I would consider seriously dating would have to show that he wants to be successful and is capable of taking care of himself. If he has well thought out goals and the drive to achieve them, it doesn't matter if he's in a rut or not. Careful planning and a passion for life easily wins out.

    Gentlemanly: Didn't really know how to phrase this... I like a man who is genuinely charming and takes great care with his lady but is also a guy's guy. He should make an effort to be gentle and protective of her, but also be aware she can take care of herself too. Someone who let's me rough house with them one minute but is also concerned if I hurt myself. Someone who can hang out and talk guitars, cars and make dirty jokes, but still help his Grandma around the house when she needs it. I suppose it sounds like I want a chivalrous knight, but not completely. I'm my own knight when I need to be, but it is greatly appreciated and adored to have someone to look out and care for your well being. Opening doors for a lady and pulling out her chair is nice, but really all I want is some deference to the fact that I'm yours. A hand on the small of my back when walking through a crowd, your arm around my waist if we're with friends or at a bar, making sure I'm warm, not putting me in a situation where I"m not comfortable, standing up for me occasionally. No need for an all out barfight on my behalf (I can kick ass on my own, thanks. But much appreciated.) But I'll admit, kissing my hand softly is something I greatly enjoy

    Genuine Honesty/Loyalty: If you are not straightforward with me, are not worthy of trust there will be no relationship whatsoever. Usually my INFJ spidey senses can tell me when people aren't trustworthy, but they've been known to screw up. I pride myself on my loyalty to my friends and family, he needs to be the same in that department. Open communication is key, and if you can't honestly answer my questions, and I yours, there isn't much hope is there? I would say this is probably the number one characteristic I need from any person I let close to me, friend or potential partner.

    Top 5 Physical Attributes:

    Lean/Fit: I prefer a guy who has an interest in physical activity whether it be martial arts, running, parkour or hiking. He should want to take care of his body for today and the future.

    Style: If you look good in a button down white/black business shirt and a pair of nice jeans, you are awesome. Some care with your appearance, even if you aren't that fit makes a huge difference. I like more of a casual style on guys, but if it fits you, that's all that matters.

    Scruffies: I call 'em scruffies, ok? I greatly enjoy men who look good with a little stubble on the chin. No full beards please, but a little bit of facial hair can be nice.

    Height: If you're taller than me in a pair of heels, that's really all I ask. If you tower above me and make me look really teeny next to you, I'll get irritated if you call me short all the time... (I'm 5' 6" dammit! I'm above the average height for women!!! I"m not short!)

    Rugged good looks (?): I don't really know what else to put. I just know what I like when I see it. I have interesting taste in men, or so I'm told. If I were to pick a couple celebrities that I think are attractive I'd say Viggo Mortensen, Adrian Brody, Hugh Laurie, Sean Patrick Flanery, Harrison Ford, Hugh Jackman and Norman Reedus. So yeah... but I think I like most of them because of the characters they play, and the personalities they use on screen. *shrug* I'm more picky about personality qualities...

    Top 5 Dislikes:

    Rude or Arrogant: You can make dirty jokes, that's fine. I might join you. You can disagree with my values or opinions, but do your research and have a good argument. However, if you lord over me and act like a know-it-all, that pisses me off. I'm a rather intelligent person I like to think, and if you try to dominate me I'll get really pissed off. If you are rude to people unnecessarily, or constantly act like a drama queen or you're too cool for your britches, I'm also going to get pissed off. Jerky behavior in general pisses me off.

    Acting like a wuss all the time: If you cannot stand up for yourself more than likely I won't give you a second glance even if you look like Brad Pitt and have his money. If you let people walk all over you, no one will respect you: especially me.

    Dishonest/ Lying: I can't trust you, then we aren't going to be doing anything. Lying hurts me, being dishonest or not forthcoming with anything, even things that may hurt my feelings, will hurt me more in the long run. Always be honest, whether it be that my breath smells bad after that lasagna or that you want to end the relationship. It really is the best policy...

    Pessimistic about everything: I suppose this is a 'pot calling the kettle black' moment, but life is not a black hole of despair, but neither is it a bed of roses. A balanced attitude helps, but don't worry I won't abandon you if you get depressed if you don't abandon me when I'm depressed.

    Just wanting me for Sex: If that's all you've got on your mind, more than likely I'll find out and be hurt/angry that you even considered trying to use me. Don't get me wrong, I love sex, but if I don't love you, you're more than likely not going to get it. So if you want a relationship AND sex, HOORAY you came to the right place. If you JUST want sex, let me give you the address to a porn site I know....


    Top 5 Desires:

    Highly affectionate: I like lots of physical contact. Hugs, Kisses, light touches, giving and getting massages, goofily dancing to the radio in the kitchen, cuddling, napping together, etc. I am a very affectionate creature. This does not mean constant baby talk or 'sweeties', but it may mean spending a rainy day cuddled up in bed.

    Ability to be both serious an playful: I think that is pretty self explanatory.

    Adventurous: Sexually and otherwise. I like exploring new places, lots of traveling and camping. I'm also bicurious, so that needs to be something my partner is aware of and ok with. At one point in my last relationship, we toyed with the idea of bringing another couple into the bedroom. Also, I'm darn near insatiable in bed, so no worries about never getting your fill, I promise.

    Open-minded: To other points of view, to new ideas and old traditions, to occasionally walking a different path.



    Ok, so there's mine. Likelihood of me finding someone whom I love and loves me back: about 0. Likelihood of someone finding my ideas unrealistic: 100
    silverlined, Rouge, Bohemian418 and 15 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleLady View Post
    Top 5 Characteristics:

    Intelligence. You need to be able to challenge me and I in turn should challenge you. I love a guy who knows what he believes, but if a good argument is made, is willing to concede a gracious defeat. If you cannot see yourself sitting in a coffee shop debating the tenants of Marxism, analyzing post-war America or musing over the similarities in various religions, you may not like me much. I enjoy lots of deep conversations about the world and our place in it.

    A quick, witty sense of humor: If you can make me laugh and be playful as well as get a few burns on other people you may be in.

    Independent and outgoing: I enjoy someone who knows what they want out of life, and aren't afraid to put themselves out there. I like people who have a wide circle of friends and business associates. Anyone I would consider seriously dating would have to show that he wants to be successful and is capable of taking care of himself. If he has well thought out goals and the drive to achieve them, it doesn't matter if he's in a rut or not. Careful planning and a passion for life easily wins out.

    Gentlemanly: Didn't really know how to phrase this... I like a man who is genuinely charming and takes great care with his lady but is also a guy's guy. He should make an effort to be gentle and protective of her, but also be aware she can take care of herself too. Someone who let's me rough house with them one minute but is also concerned if I hurt myself. Someone who can hang out and talk guitars, cars and make dirty jokes, but still help his Grandma around the house when she needs it. I suppose it sounds like I want a chivalrous knight, but not completely. I'm my own knight when I need to be, but it is greatly appreciated and adored to have someone to look out and care for your well being. Opening doors for a lady and pulling out her chair is nice, but really all I want is some deference to the fact that I'm yours. A hand on the small of my back when walking through a crowd, your arm around my waist if we're with friends or at a bar, making sure I'm warm, not putting me in a situation where I"m not comfortable, standing up for me occasionally. No need for an all out barfight on my behalf (I can kick ass on my own, thanks. But much appreciated.) But I'll admit, kissing my hand softly is something I greatly enjoy

    Genuine Honesty/Loyalty: If you are not straightforward with me, are not worthy of trust there will be no relationship whatsoever. Usually my INFJ spidey senses can tell me when people aren't trustworthy, but they've been known to screw up. I pride myself on my loyalty to my friends and family, he needs to be the same in that department. Open communication is key, and if you can't honestly answer my questions, and I yours, there isn't much hope is there? I would say this is probably the number one characteristic I need from any person I let close to me, friend or potential partner.

    Top 5 Physical Attributes:

    Lean/Fit: I prefer a guy who has an interest in physical activity whether it be martial arts, running, parkour or hiking. He should want to take care of his body for today and the future.

    Style: If you look good in a button down white/black business shirt and a pair of nice jeans, you are awesome. Some care with your appearance, even if you aren't that fit makes a huge difference. I like more of a casual style on guys, but if it fits you, that's all that matters.

    Scruffies: I call 'em scruffies, ok? I greatly enjoy men who look good with a little stubble on the chin. No full beards please, but a little bit of facial hair can be nice.

    Height: If you're taller than me in a pair of heels, that's really all I ask. If you tower above me and make me look really teeny next to you, I'll get irritated if you call me short all the time... (I'm 5' 6" dammit! I'm above the average height for women!!! I"m not short!)

    Rugged good looks (?): I don't really know what else to put. I just know what I like when I see it. I have interesting taste in men, or so I'm told. If I were to pick a couple celebrities that I think are attractive I'd say Viggo Mortensen, Adrian Brody, Hugh Laurie, Sean Patrick Flanery, Harrison Ford, Hugh Jackman and Norman Reedus. So yeah... but I think I like most of them because of the characters they play, and the personalities they use on screen. *shrug* I'm more picky about personality qualities...

    Top 5 Dislikes:

    Rude or Arrogant: You can make dirty jokes, that's fine. I might join you. You can disagree with my values or opinions, but do your research and have a good argument. However, if you lord over me and act like a know-it-all, that pisses me off. I'm a rather intelligent person I like to think, and if you try to dominate me I'll get really pissed off. If you are rude to people unnecessarily, or constantly act like a drama queen or you're too cool for your britches, I'm also going to get pissed off. Jerky behavior in general pisses me off.

    Acting like a wuss all the time: If you cannot stand up for yourself more than likely I won't give you a second glance even if you look like Brad Pitt and have his money. If you let people walk all over you, no one will respect you: especially me.

    Dishonest/ Lying: I can't trust you, then we aren't going to be doing anything. Lying hurts me, being dishonest or not forthcoming with anything, even things that may hurt my feelings, will hurt me more in the long run. Always be honest, whether it be that my breath smells bad after that lasagna or that you want to end the relationship. It really is the best policy...

    Pessimistic about everything: I suppose this is a 'pot calling the kettle black' moment, but life is not a black hole of despair, but neither is it a bed of roses. A balanced attitude helps, but don't worry I won't abandon you if you get depressed if you don't abandon me when I'm depressed.

    Just wanting me for Sex: If that's all you've got on your mind, more than likely I'll find out and be hurt/angry that you even considered trying to use me. Don't get me wrong, I love sex, but if I don't love you, you're more than likely not going to get it. So if you want a relationship AND sex, HOORAY you came to the right place. If you JUST want sex, let me give you the address to a porn site I know....


    Top 5 Desires:

    Highly affectionate: I like lots of physical contact. Hugs, Kisses, light touches, giving and getting massages, goofily dancing to the radio in the kitchen, cuddling, napping together, etc. I am a very affectionate creature. This does not mean constant baby talk or 'sweeties', but it may mean spending a rainy day cuddled up in bed.

    Ability to be both serious an playful: I think that is pretty self explanatory.

    Adventurous: Sexually and otherwise. I like exploring new places, lots of traveling and camping. I'm also bicurious, so that needs to be something my partner is aware of and ok with. At one point in my last relationship, we toyed with the idea of bringing another couple into the bedroom. Also, I'm darn near insatiable in bed, so no worries about never getting your fill, I promise.

    Open-minded: To other points of view, to new ideas and old traditions, to occasionally walking a different path.



    Ok, so there's mine. Likelihood of me finding someone whom I love and loves me back: about 0. Likelihood of someone finding my ideas unrealistic: 100
    deliciously defined. hehe especially "adventurous". wow, we infjs are quite the lovers, yeah?
    dreaming panda, TeeJay and SilverMoon thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Top 5 Characteristics:
    1) Sympathy
    2) Calm and radiate safety
    3) Positive! =)
    4) Independent
    5) Open, trying to understand others..

    Top 5 Physical Features
    1) Kind eyes
    2) The Smile, with big S. A great smile that radiates safety and warmth!
    3) I like that boys have a lot of messy hair (at least on their head, tehe)
    4) Healthy-looking
    5) Tight ass.. (yeah, I do like that)

    Top 5 Dislikes
    1) Arrogance (a huuuge turn-off..)
    2) Loudly
    3) Dirty feets
    4) Negativity and pessimism
    5) Bad breath

    Top 5 Desires
    1) Cuddly. Not afraid to show the world what he feels for me, with kisses, hugs and so on
    2) Enjoy talking. I like to talk, and I like to hear others talk.. Deep conversations with someone, is one of the most facinating things I know.
    3) Adventurous. Enjoy seeing new things, not just other countries and cultures; but also discovering new things about himself, me and people around him.
    4) Affectionate. I HAVE to feel and see that he loves me and appreciates me.
    5) Calm&Relaxed charisma. I'm a kind of relaxed person myself, but not always in my head; than it's good to have someone who can make me feel calm eventhough my head is just caos.
    Hikari, Navis Amoris, TeeJay and 2 others thanked this post.


     
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