[INFJ] young INFJ feeling lost and seeking advice

young INFJ feeling lost and seeking advice

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This is a discussion on young INFJ feeling lost and seeking advice within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; The more I learn about myself and INFJs the more I realize that my woes aren't as unique as I ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    young INFJ feeling lost and seeking advice

    The more I learn about myself and INFJs the more I realize that my woes aren't as unique as I once thought they were!

    That said, I'm feeling totally lost about my direction in life. A recent college grad, I'm currently living on a fellowship researching for the next seven months. But, after that, I'm off into the world... and not sure where to go.

    Are there any other INFJs who have, perhaps, once felt like this and have since gained clarity about your life's purpose/or whatever it is you've chosen to do professionally? Or anyone else who feels a similar sense of being lost in the abyss?

    I realize that I am the only one that can make choices for myself but am unsure of how to arrive at these decisions. I feel paralyzed by my lack of direction.

    Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
    Eliz, SarahWilliams, Daveman and 3 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by cashmeresoul View Post
    The more I learn about myself and INFJs the more I realize that my woes aren't as unique as I once thought they were!

    That said, I'm feeling totally lost about my direction in life. A recent college grad, I'm currently living on a fellowship researching for the next seven months. But, after that, I'm off into the world... and not sure where to go.

    Are there any other INFJs who have, perhaps, once felt like this and have since gained clarity about your life's purpose/or whatever it is you've chosen to do professionally? Or anyone else who feels a similar sense of being lost in the abyss?

    I realize that I am the only one that can make choices for myself but am unsure of how to arrive at these decisions. I feel paralyzed by my lack of direction.

    Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
    Yeah, I majored in mass communications, and now I'm planning on going back to get my masters in psychology.

    What was your major?

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I'm almost ashamed to reveal it... theater. and writing.
    Last edited by cashmeresoul; 10-27-2010 at 03:55 PM. Reason: forgotten word
    jamescarrolls and beanz thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by cashmeresoul View Post
    I'm almost ashamed to reveal it... theater. and writing.
    That doesn't surprise me.

    Did your writings have a message for the audience to ponder over?

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    sure did! since learning about myers-briggs my life now makes so much more sense.

    how did you come to the conclusion to venture into psychology?
    SarahWilliams thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by cashmeresoul View Post
    sure did! since learning about myers-briggs my life now makes so much more sense.

    how did you come to the conclusion to venture into psychology?
    It's looking at the big picture.

    I have also written things for "the world" to think about.

    Not all INFJs are completley the same, but I would say that bascially we are harmony-seaking idealists. On some level we can get inside of the hearts and minds of other people. If we are not too bitter in our thinking of humanity in general, then we should want to "help" others in some way.

    What I wanted to do originally was to write thought-provoking movie scripts, but I came to the realization that everything I was writing was more appropriate for independent films than it was for mainstream, and I wanted it to be mainstream.

    I've seen A LOT of movies- more than some people who are old enough to be my parents. If a movie has deep, symbolic meaning, then I see it, BUT the majority of people out there do not. They look at the surface level and the action. And I used to hold this against them, but I have decided to let it go. It's just the way many people are. They don't take it as seriously as I do. So I feel that this dream of mine would not be "helpful" to most people.

    As soon as I discovered more about what it means to be an INFJ, I decided that the most important thing was to do something that would actually help other people- something more realistic and less idealistic. And so, I decided to become a psychologist and to eventually write something about my experience as an INFJ to help other INFJs out there.
    SarahWilliams, vel, jamescarrolls and 5 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by cashmeresoul View Post

    Are there any other INFJs who have, perhaps, once felt like this and have since gained clarity about your life's purpose/or whatever it is you've chosen to do professionally? Or anyone else who feels a similar sense of being lost in the abyss?
    I"m afraid that I haven't gained any clarity about my life's purpose yet, and I'm 32.

    Lost in the abyss is a good way of putting it. When I was younger, I lived for helping other people and although I got some happiness, it left me rather disillusioned. So I started living for myself and doing much more of what I wanted, and that left me feeling cynical and selfish, and not feeling like I was actually contributing much of anything to the world.

    The key for me, I think, is in helping the right sort of people. The people who need and want my help, and who will actually put in the effort to help themselves as well. I want to see positive results. But I still haven't figured out just who these people would be, and how I will be able to help them.

    For now, I am creating a new life, and will spend the next several years working on her and my husband's happiness and development. Baby due in January and it's going to be a very interesting experience for all three of us
    Navis Amoris, SarahWilliams, vel and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by kateykinz View Post
    I"m afraid that I haven't gained any clarity about my life's purpose yet, and I'm 32.

    Lost in the abyss is a good way of putting it. When I was younger, I lived for helping other people and although I got some happiness, it left me rather disillusioned. So I started living for myself and doing much more of what I wanted, and that left me feeling cynical and selfish, and not feeling like I was actually contributing much of anything to the world.

    The key for me, I think, is in helping the right sort of people. The people who need and want my help, and who will actually put in the effort to help themselves as well. I want to see positive results. But I still haven't figured out just who these people would be, and how I will be able to help them.

    For now, I am creating a new life, and will spend the next several years working on her and my husband's happiness and development. Baby due in January and it's going to be a very interesting experience for all three of us
    Congratulations on your baby! Best of luck :) Maybe finding your sense of purpose is on it's way!

    I agree with you on feeling caught between doing what you want (and then feeling selfish) and then living for others (and then feeling potentially disillusioned/unsatisfied). I am finding it hard to satisfy both of these wants, for me, at least: 1) to be able to express myself creatively 2) but also to do this in some way that isn't entirely selfish.

    sigh.
    SarahWilliams, Daveman and vel thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by cashmeresoul View Post
    ... Or anyone else who feels a similar sense of being lost in the abyss?

    I realize that I am the only one that can make choices for myself but am unsure of how to arrive at these decisions. I feel paralyzed by my lack of direction.

    Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
    Oh yes, very familiar feeling. Just a few months before I learned about MBTI I was walking with a friend along a street and I asked her whether she ever feels lost. It is a common perception for me sometimes just going out and seeing all these people and everything around and being overwhelmed by this abyss as you have described it.

    The problem that INFJs have is that we have awesome powers of observation of things that have happened, in past. Then we contemplate about past a lot. And conclusions we make and patterns from past that we see we flip them into the future. This enables us to predict certain events but it can also backfire. It can sometimes give us a feeling of predetermination. Like you are unable to change anything about your life and create your future so to say, and even if you want to do something you just don't know where to start. Whenever I feel like this I usually try to make myself think about present moment and goals I'm trying to accomplish here and now instead of the totality of life, universe, and everything. I've been raised by two SJs and I know this is how they go about life, just thinking about things that they have to accomplish today and may be tomorrow. So my advice would be to take it slow, figure it out piece by piece, and not thinking too far into the future because life introduces new elements all the time and scraps even the best planning. Try to figure smaller pieces of the puzzle sequentially instead of entire puzzle in its entirety right away. Most importantly do something even if you are feeling paralyzed and not certain. By doing something, you'll be getting somewhere, may be meeting some new people, may be getting exposed to some new things, may be you'll waste your time, but from there it is easier to figure stuff out. If you go out on the street and look at people there all of them are just like you, going about their life faced with many uncertainties, trying to create their own future, succeeding, failing then trying again, that's just how life goes so you're not alone in this.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by cashmeresoul View Post
    The more I learn about myself and INFJs the more I realize that my woes aren't as unique as I once thought they were!

    That said, I'm feeling totally lost about my direction in life. A recent college grad, I'm currently living on a fellowship researching for the next seven months. But, after that, I'm off into the world... and not sure where to go.

    Are there any other INFJs who have, perhaps, once felt like this and have since gained clarity about your life's purpose/or whatever it is you've chosen to do professionally? Or anyone else who feels a similar sense of being lost in the abyss?

    I realize that I am the only one that can make choices for myself but am unsure of how to arrive at these decisions. I feel paralyzed by my lack of direction.

    Thanks in advance for any thoughts!
    I'm 25 and I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. I have an undergrad degree in poli sci, and now I work behind the front desk of a large college library. It's a great environment and I enjoy it a lot. It's the perfect mix of helping people, being creative, and finding information for others.

    I would *highly* recommend working for the government or a college, in the public sector. My experience in academia has been quite positive. You don't get paid a lot, but you have nice benefits, and you work with people who have priorities in the right place (ie, not work).

    I have yet to gain clarity on life. But so far my resume is building in a certain direction that I'm happy about. In a few years I'll go back and get a masters (probably in library science). I want to continue working in the library or museum field.

    I live my life with this principle: Do what you love and the money will follow.

    I would recommend choosing an entry-level job in a field that you think you will like - and start building experience there. It may take a few years to take the next step, next promotion, or grad school... but at least you're working towards it. And if you find you do not like that field at least you'll know early.

    I think INFJs and INFPs struggle with direction pretty bad. The perfectionist - idealist combo can be deadly when it comes to choosing a profession.
    Navis Amoris, Daveman, vel and 3 others thanked this post.


     
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