[INFJ] Life of a common INFJ

Life of a common INFJ

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This is a discussion on Life of a common INFJ within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hey What is on your mind when you imagine a common INFJ with its stereotypes, problems, behaviour, preferences ect during ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Life of a common INFJ

    Hey
    What is on your mind when you imagine a common INFJ with its stereotypes, problems, behaviour, preferences ect during his or her life - from early childhood to death.

    (kind of toys and games INFJ child prefers, school problems, friends, first love, job, soulmate, children, hobby, pets, retirement, whatever... post your views :)

    Thanks :)
    Female INFJ, Valdyr, Philosapollo and 1 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Well, it is up to me to start :D

    INFJ girl was born to poor parents as the youngest child. She didn't need many toys because she was able to play with everything she found. It didn't matter what it was in real, she saw it just like it fitted the most to the made-up world she was living in. There were many stories with villains and the good ones, but the good always won, because it made her to feel safe. Although, she had friends, she didn't prefer to spend among them whole day, but she liked to be with one close friend. Most of her buddies were boys. Probably because of their wildness, adventures and silence in speaking. In school she was really smart and conscientious, easy going with schoolmates, respectful towards teachers. She was good in writing and painting. It was her way to express herself, but she never felt it was that she wanted to communicate to the world. She always used to have an inner talk with someone, possibly any stranger she already met. Each time that person was great listener and was asking new question all the time. Maybe she looked like an outsider, but she didn't care much about it. As she was always different from the others, she fell in love with someone similar. However, it didn't end up in relationship, it was enough for her, that feeling of love, she couldn't be fancy-free. The next one lasted a couple years, he had all she had ever wanted (ENFP probably :D), however it wasn't perfect. Fortunately, she knew, that it will never be perfect and she married him. With university degree in psychology she worked as therapist in hospital. She loved sundays that she spent with her family or alone in cottage in forest. With endless patience she was watching all wild creatures crossing her place. It amazed her every time she found out something new about wildlife and flora. She saw things that no one saw. And as granny she passed away because of cancer.

    Maybe it isn't "pure INFJ", maybe it is rather my story, but I would be pleased if you share your stories like this one :)

  3. #3

    I was born as the youngest kid... I was home schooled until second grade. I hung out with girls mainly, which was totally fine with me, I didn't really act like "one of the guys". I was known for being one of the best spellers in my grade level and even became second in the county. I knew I had crushes on a few girls around 4th grade, but this one tomboyish girl who hung around me was the main object of my affection. I really liked her but was afraid to take the initiative because I didn't whether most people even developed those kinds of feelings at that age. Apparently she did like me, oops...

    After 5th grade, I moved out of state. I went to a middle school for a total of 3 days in 6th grade, but the school was a terrible environment. We decided to go to a homeschool environment. I skipped a grade via placement test.

    I went to high school and was even able to skip Algebra 1 and go straight to geometry. I was obviously the nerdy kid during my whole high school years. I was agreeable a lot of the time, but I had a temper that came out of nowhere. I liked a few women and even asked a few out, but no true successes. During the school year, my brother introduced me to this Pick-Up-Artistry thing, but it personally never worked for me, probably because I misinterpreted the material and saw too many strict guidelines.

    Now I'm in my freshman year of college, still learning more about myself, and thinking about my possibilities in life.
    shaddie, Valdyr, CptKickerCutleg and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Torai View Post
    I was born as the youngest kid... I was home schooled until second grade. I hung out with girls mainly, which was totally fine with me, I didn't really act like "one of the guys". I was known for being one of the best spellers in my grade level and even became second in the county. I knew I had crushes on a few girls around 4th grade, but this one tomboyish girl who hung around me was the main object of my affection. I really liked her but was afraid to take the initiative because I didn't whether most people even developed those kinds of feelings at that age. Apparently she did like me, oops...

    After 5th grade, I moved out of state. I went to a middle school for a total of 3 days in 6th grade, but the school was a terrible environment. We decided to go to a homeschool environment. I skipped a grade via placement test.

    I went to high school and was even able to skip Algebra 1 and go straight to geometry. I was obviously the nerdy kid during my whole high school years. I was agreeable a lot of the time, but I had a temper that came out of nowhere. I liked a few women and even asked a few out, but no true successes. During the school year, my brother introduced me to this Pick-Up-Artistry thing, but it personally never worked for me, probably because I misinterpreted the material and saw too many strict guidelines.

    Now I'm in my freshman year of college, still learning more about myself, and thinking about my possibilities in life.

    Very cool, I am a homeschooled INFJ as well. :D College is a great place to learn about yourself ^_^

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    How do you even know when you're common INFJ? lol

    I'm guessing when your percentages aren't high... like...

    60% Introverted
    58% INtuitive
    67% Feeler
    60% Judge

    Random percentages.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Common INFJ stuff hmmm...I'm not sure where I would start with that other then telling you how I grow up and let you compare from it but man...that would be a long post crazy post..lol
    napoleon227 thanked this post.

  7. #7

    I am the youngest. Most of my life I lived with my mom for the school year, and dad for the break. When I was 3, I had no friends. I was the "weird one" in the neighborhood. No one wanted to play with the girl with golden hair. I spent my time inside in my imaginary world. Then, my parents divorced. it wasn't hard on me, because I'm good with coping with unpleasant things compared to most people. My mom, grandma, sister, and I left. We moved towns. Went to a shelter. I had no friends there either. The others made me cry every day. I did all I could to avoid them. Even the adults were mean to me. We moved again, when I was 4. Again, I had no friends. I lived life in an imaginary land, no sorrows, no trouble. Naive in the most non-naive way. I didn't have many toys, we couldn't afford them. I was fine with that. I never asked for much. I'd make cardboard box shelters. I had a deadly fear of spiders. and where I lived, spiders were everywhere. When I was 6 I went to school for the first time. My mom re-married. I had one friend in school. The other acted like my friend, but wasn't. my moms husband ended up abusing her. My sister and I constantly feuded, and she and my grandma were always fighting too. Even one of the neighborhood cats would beat up our de-clawed tabby cat. That viscous cycle of abuse, sorrow, and fighting continued my whole life. I was plagued by vivid nightmares, which resulted in many unhealthy fears. I had a fear of electric outlets. I had a fear of bugs. I had fears of the dark, anything with potential to hurt me. I had bad social anxiety, and still do. Two years ago, my dad filed for "emergency temporary custody". My mom was just cleared for light work because she had neck surgery. They didn't understand how much she sacrificed so I could live the best life, even though she didn't have a job we were self-sustaining. Even if we were in and out of shelters. My sisters marriage turned abusive. My mom moved to Washington with her. My sister and I no longer fight. She and my mom are INFJ's. My sister beats herself up daily and cries nightly about how mean she was to me, and how she wasted all her time with me and misses me. I am as introverted as they come. On the inside I am very judging, but I honestly try to not be judging, and I loathe myself for being a judger. I do value justice, and for people who do wrong to get what they deserve. I also value mercy. I am highly empathetic and intuitive. I am highly INFJ.

    My life, literally my whole life, has been nothing but tragedies and sorrow. I see nothing about that that is common.
    shaddie, Doom, ohTOMICho and 3 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Youngest, with one older brother who was a special needs kid. Rocky relations with parents, especially father, and severe anxiety and depression in middle school and high school. I went to a much smaller alternative school during my high school years. The classes were always too easy, but I needed that (lesser) level of social stimulation.

    Went through cycles of having one best friend (my mother would often joke that I would be attached to the hip) to having no friends at all. Sometimes small circle of friends of friends, too, that I never felt very connected to.

    Instead, I usually turned to people online for my social quota. I've known people all over the United States, a few in the UK, and even one or two from Australia and New Zealand. I've never met any of them in real life, but am hoping to correct that this summer. :) Online I'm often very babbly and like to horse around a lot. I often get put into leadership positions, such as officer in guilds in MMOs or forum moderator. I've played World of Warcraft with some Everquest 2 on the side.

    Have always been a reader, with fantasy being my favorite genre, and have enjoyed writing stories of my own. (This is probably leads to my roleplaying in the above games.) Everyone tells me I'm a good writer. I've also always loved animals, and always wanted a horse. Never got one, but I did get to volunteer at a therapeutic riding center during high school. This helped show me what I really wanted to do in life. My family has had a succession of dobermans and other pets (rats, gerbils, a cat and a quail) all through out my life.

    Now I'm in college, not belonging to any "groups" or even really knowing anyone here, but thinking about volunteering at a local animal shelter. My major is Psychology and I'm looking into going into animal-assisted therapy.

    Eventually? I hope to have a quiet life in a ranch in the mountains or some equally laid back environment. Would also like a husband and kids. We'll see!
    shaddie, Lady Lullaby, abster and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'm the middle child, I grew up in a loving family, the object of my parents caring attention, doing well in school, not having many friends other than my next door neighbor, who I often went over to his house via the coal bunker in our back garden. The sea was a constant companion and I'd always crave to go to the nearby beach with my friends Megywn and Steven, the former being a tom-boyish girl, she was the only one who truly understood each other.

    In school, I was the best reader, even in year 2, I just liked to read, at the age of 5, I was already reading inch thick books meant for mature adults... I went back to adolescent books after the sex scene.
    My teachers knew me, almost like they could see my mind, even if my parents called them condescending, I called them caring.
    I didn't know that the gale force winds that so commonly assaulted our seaside village would rip off our roof.

    We were forced to move, Dad left the Navy and used his last funds to get us a temporary house in the Midlands, we lived there, in a dingy apartment for a few months, with my newborn brother screeching in my ear, my big brother retreating outside with the local teenagers, going out to play a game of football (Soccer to you people from America ) with his new friends.

    We recovered, renting a pleasant midlands village house for a year while the previous owners were on holiday for a year (Yes, a YEAR of HOLIDAY). I went to a school just up the street. My mother stayed home to look after my younger brother, my older throwing himself into his studies at high school.
    I was misunderstood at Primary School. Nobody really "got" me.
    I made one friend, and then became his friend's friend.
    We made up worlds, fighting imaginary enemies with sword and gun, outcasts together.
    I was the second best reader (The best one went on to get A levels and is now in Oxford University, it always came naturally to her) even as I struggled to get up to date with the subject change from County to County, from basic geometry to studying Sikhism.
    My teachers thought I was an idiot, barely capable of understanding what was going on.
    We were forced to pray before school, before lunch and after each lesson.
    I rebelled.
    Ostracized as I was, this actually managed to make people give me a little more respect as it often does with children, I denied the religion that the school tried to shove down my mouth and self harmed each time they forced me.
    Self harm became the trend for the next few years.

    We moved a few times, never far, just somewhere to stay so we could keep living.
    My dad was employed at LSC, a massive company, I still don't know what he did, I've never really bothered to ask him, as he looked like he wanted to come home and forget about work. My mom found a job with a security company and my little brother and I had to go to a child minder while she was working.

    I made a friend in her daughter.
    Aspergic like me, only slightly more so, she was lively and always had an opinion, a wonderful person to talk to.
    Our friendship continued for a time until her parents had a falling out, and both moved away, no hard feelings, just bad memories.
    I went through a succession of bad experiences as I progressed to high school.
    I was the smallest person in the school, the weakest and the weirdest too.

    I had no friends in my year, they were all left behind in Primary school.
    I was bullied, almost having my ribs broken on my first day.
    I hid away in the library, even when it wasn't Year 7's day, the librarian allowed me in because she saw what happened to me outside.
    I befriended a few in my classes, but never beyond the depth of several masks.
    My grades slipped, becoming barely more than adequate. Perhaps due to disinterest, perhaps I just wasn't learning from my teachers, maybe I was just distracted, I can't remember anymore.

    I got my GCSEs, made a few friends, began hating a lot of my teachers because they told me I was horrible at their subject (Looking at you Art teacher, "You'll get an E at best" my arse, I showed you!)
    I remember a few good moments, like when the the head librarian starting dusting me saying I was a "Permanent fixture". I still wasn't what I wanted to be, but then, I was lost in a torrent of conflicting thoughts and emotions back then.

    Now, here's the part that made me who I truly am today:

    I went to 6th form to further my education.
    Physics, History, Maths, Media Studies. I had a goal: To be a games designer.
    Didn't pan out.
    Dropped out of Maths in the most explosive way.
    Did a few weeks of Theater studies.
    Got pulled out because my other grades were slipping.
    Met a beautiful girl.
    Protected her.
    Graduated from 6th form with sub-standard grades.
    Went back at lunch times to be with her.

    I was caught once by the head of Special Needs Department, (How we hated that woman) who told me I wasn't allowed to be on the school site because I was no longer a student.
    Came in the next day anyway, spoke to the head of 6th form, told her that regardless of whether I was allowed or not, regardless of the consequences to me, I'd be there for her, my dearest love whom I shall protect with my body and heart no matter what.
    She lets me come in now.
    As often as I can, I go to see her, still trying to hold her above the stress and arguments that erupt in their family.

    Went to college, barely got Passes, still there, barely getting passes.
    She's in her last year of 6th form looking for a university she can go to.

    We make each other happy, and happiness is not something that should ever be sacrificed for success.
    At least, that's my view.
    She's unhappy with her life, a turbulent family life, her epilepsy is tearing her apart from the inside, her hallucinations intensifying even as her medication fails to have ANY effect.

    She'll give up everything to get out of where she is, even me.
    I'm determined to make sure that even if she lets go of me, I'll still find my way back to her. I'll never stop protecting her.
    I may not be a common INFJ, but I am here, and I am here to stay.


    [Edit:] Holy mother of Walls-Of-Text! That was long!
    shaddie, Lady Lullaby, how do you feel and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10

    it's really hard to tell ... personally, I don't believe that a child's personality is set in stone from the start. The only thing that has been set in stone from me was my introversion ... honestly speaking, based on what I have experienced, I could just as easily have become INFP, INTJ or INTP ... just look at my scores :) But I'm generally am INFJ.

    Here's my life experience though so you can judge for yourself

    1. I was always caring of others and could feel their pain (even at the age of 6)
    2. I've always only had 1 or 2 close friends at a time ... no more.
    3. I was always attracted to the outcasts - the people whom I thought required sympathy and caring
    4. I hated parties, and being in crowds ... to the point where they used to give me migraines.
    5. I hated sports and all other group activities.
    6. I enjoyed activities that allowed me to be alone - so I focused entirely on music
    7. Hated math - even though I was very good at it if I applied myself (IQ over 130)
    8. Made academic choices and career choices based on what I thought would make my parents happy
    9. Lived for success within the society - not personal success
    10. Always longed for love and understanding, but was only attracted to the 'damsel and distress' type.
    11. Went through 2 terrible relationships ... finally divorce after a love affair of 10 years ... because of my introverted nature
    12. Currently unhappy in a job that goes against my basic personality type ... (I'm a Sales Manager - exact opposite of what I should)
    13. Life is in a constant state of flux and turmoil ...

    INFJ's live for others and ignore their own desires ... an INFJ child needs to be encouraged that the parents' happiness is in the child's happiness and no other counter message can be sent. The moment the INFJ child realizes that something that he/she may possibly do that could cause even the slightest unhappiness to his/her parents, he/she will internalize it and start ignoring his/her own needs.
    shaddie, Lady Lullaby, abster and 1 others thanked this post.


     
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