I'm sick of the world looking down on me because I have severely damaged self-esteem, as if men aren't allowed to be this way. I'm feeling trapped and alone. I simply get tossed aside for someone with a better past and better health, and no matter how hard I try to get better it's never good enough for anyone else. It's easy to say their opinion shouldn't matter but I deal with this enough to not be able to simply ignore it. I have to lie about how I'm doing every day just so I can get by. I can only try and seek comfort in myself.