[INFJ] Getting back in touch with Fi as an INFJ

Getting back in touch with Fi as an INFJ

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This is a discussion on Getting back in touch with Fi as an INFJ within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hi guys, wondering if you can help me. I seem to have lost touch with my Fi. I would almost ...

  1. #1

    Getting back in touch with Fi as an INFJ

    Hi guys, wondering if you can help me. I seem to have lost touch with my Fi. I would almost constantly experience internal emotions as a kid. But, as I've gotten older, this has diminished to the point where I feel next to nothing in feelings. I devalue Fi, so I spent all these years trying to boost my Ti. A losing battle. Now that it's gone, really miss it. Fi was kind of nice and almost addictive, sort of like Se is. It seems to use Fi, one has to transcend his loop, and the loop an effortless and natural state of mind.

    Have you guys experienced something similiar? How did you get back in touch with Fi?
    Last edited by Freeflowingthoughts; 12-09-2015 at 11:40 PM.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Do we even have Fi? >:)

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by StElmosDream View Post
    Do we even have Fi? >:)
    Ahaha, I do. I can smooth over things in conversations and I get really affected if something negative happens. Kind of like, if I ignore it for too long, it'll hit me over the head and then I experience it full force. Also, people always say that "they can see my emotions written all over my face" and percieve that I'm experiencing a lot more emotions than I actually am or am aware of. I don't know, I've just lost that safety to dive into the subconscious. Permanent Se

    Edit: sorry, I thought you said "do you". Yeah we do actually. Fi is our second strongest function, not Fe.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Freeflowingthoughts View Post
    Ahaha, I do. I can smooth over things in conversations and I get really affected if something negative happens. Kind of like, if I ignore it for too long, it'll hit me over the head and then I experience it full force. Also, people always say that "they can see my emotions written all over my face" and percieve that I'm experiencing a lot more emotions than I actually am or am aware of. I don't know, I've just lost that safety to dive into the subconscious. Permanent Se

    Edit: sorry, I thought you said "do you". Yeah we do actually. Fi is our second strongest function, not Fe.
    According to most theories I've heard, Fe is INFJ's second most conscious function, not Fi. IXFJs have Fi, but it will never really be prioritized the way it is for XXFP types, so you can probably feel and experience it, though you may not be fully aware of it, and you will probably not consider it very important--which will show in your life and relationships.

    The way you can strengthen Fi is in the times when you are not directly around people...so when you're alone and thinking about your life. Re-evaluating how you feel about your life and relationships could help--what it is you enjoy or need, what it is you believe in when not around others, and how your life and interactions with others represent that.

    I imagine being around your socionics benefactor, the ISFP, would help you most with Fi, and perhaps help strengthen your decisions and give you a different, but helpful, perspective.
    Doc Dangerstein, Windblownhair, nichya and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Meltedsorbet View Post
    According to most theories I've heard, Fe is INFJ's second most conscious function, not Fi. IXFJs have Fi, but it will never really be prioritized the way it is for XXFP types, so you can probably feel and experience it, though you may not be fully aware of it, and you will probably not consider it very important--which will show in your life and relationships.

    The way you can strengthen Fi is in the times when you are not directly around people...so when you're alone and thinking about your life. Re-evaluating how you feel about your life and relationships could help--what it is you enjoy or need, what it is you believe in when not around others, and how your life and interactions with others represent that.

    I imagine being around your socionics benefactor, the ISFP, would help you most with Fi, and perhaps help strengthen your decisions and give you a different, but helpful, perspective.
    It is the second most conscious function. It is not the 2nd most powerful, that's Fi.

    Because it's devalued, I don't consider it important, so you're right, but I feel like I'm missing a core part of myself without it.

    Your method to strengthen Fi is quite dangerous (for me at least). It is very insightful advice, but I think for other types. Reflecting on life (external static in fields) is a natural state for me. Ni-Ti-Fi loop. The truth, is that I have no Te. So I can't solve things in my life via this loop. Believe me, I spent a long time trying!

    ISFPs are very charming. I think they can give me a helpful perspective, though to be completely honest, I prefer the perspective of INFPs because we both speak the NF language, and both have the same two strongest functions.
    Last edited by Freeflowingthoughts; 12-09-2015 at 11:00 PM.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Freeflowingthoughts View Post
    Hi guys, wondering if you can help me. When I was younger, I would almost constantly experience internal emotions. However, as I got older, this has diminished to the point where I feel next to nothing in feelings. I devalue Fi, I spent all these years trying to boost my Ti. Also, now that I have eliminated Fi from my consciousness, I really miss it. Fi was kind of addictive, sort of like Se. It seems to use Fi, one has to transcend his loop, and this is by far the most natural and effortless frame of mind to fall victim to.

    Do you guys have any tips?
    Fi isn't about having internal emotions. Every type, regardless of functions, has those. Fi is about making internal (moral) value judgements. Prioritizing life based on what 'feels' right. INFPs, with dominate Fi, express this rather well by often taking up causes such as animal or environmental care, because they 'feel' it's the right thing to do. They can appear selfish at times, because they will act on what they feel is right internally, regardless of if others agree.

    On the other hand, those with Fe will act on what's right for the 'group', at times appearing more selfless than they are internally because they will often ignore/dismiss their own opinions in favor of the group. Even when they act negatively towards the group, they do so feeling that's what's best for the group.

    INFJs lack Fi in any real capacity. Assuming 'shadow' functions are even a thing (which I highly doubt), Fi would be so inconsequential to an INFJs processes that it would be little more than neglible at best, on a good day. Whatever you think may have been Fi in you is far more likely a combo of other functions 'mimicking' a superficial (and probably mistaken knowledge of) appearance of Fi.

    Regardless of all that, cognitive functions can't be consciously chosen/dismissed/improved no matter which ones you have. Even the main ones. Functions do improve over time, yes, but it's a natural development as the brain develops. You can say you go on inferior Se 'binges' with food or music, for example, but all you are doing is experiencing them. And you can repeat the process and get a completely different experience anyway. You're not an RPG character in Skyrim with a skill based level up system or something. Functions aren't muscles you can flex. They're neurons firing in the brain or whatever. You can't just stare at someone like Superman with xray vision and make your Ni stronger.

    It's like breathing. It's automatic. Hell, you don't even register use of your functions until AFTER the experience.

    As with many things somewhat improperly labeled in MBTI, the 'feeling' functions aren't about emotions. They're more related to... gut instincts, if that's easier to understand. Fe users have gut instincts relating to others. Fi users have gut instincts they developed themselves, regardless and sometimes in spite of others input.

    What you are experiencing or concerned about most likely has to do with you being a 4 than an INFJ. 4s are usually more in tune with their emotions, and therein can become concerned when they feel they are becoming 'numb' or whatever. It's also pretty easy for 4s to mistakenly assume or be told they have Fi, as they are known to give in to their emotional needs and outwardly react similar to types with Fi on a surface level. But that has to do with appearances than true intent.

    An INFJ 4 can react similar to that of an INFP 4 outwardly and get offended at an insult, for example. But the INFJ 4 will get offended because they register the person insulting them wishes them harm (verbally or otherwise) and emotionally respond in a defensive manner. Whilst the INFP 4 will get offended because the person insulting them dared to do so in the first place, as that action goes against their value judgement that every person deserves a basic level of respect. They might not even be concerned with the actual insult itself or even the intent of the person insulting them.

    But both the INFJ and INFP punch the guy in the face (or insert more appropriate response here) so no one outwardly knows the difference.

    Anyway, just IMHO from observations, experience, research and such. Take it or leave it as you wish.
    decibell, Windblownhair, MeltedSorbet and 4 others thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Freeflowingthoughts View Post
    Ahaha, I do. I can smooth over things in conversations and I get really affected if something negative happens. Kind of like, if I ignore it for too long, it'll hit me over the head and then I experience it full force. Also, people always say that "they can see my emotions written all over my face" and percieve that I'm experiencing a lot more emotions than I actually am or am aware of. I don't know, I've just lost that safety to dive into the subconscious. Permanent Se

    Edit: sorry, I thought you said "do you". Yeah we do actually. Fi is our second strongest function, not Fe.
    That's Fe, not Fi. You are reacting to the external. To conflict among the group. And yes, the group can consist of you and one other person. Extroverted feeling. You're picking up the emotions of others around you, and reacting to that. Fe users are often touted as being physically reactive (such as 'all over my face') because they're literally reacting to the person in front of them able to see their face.

    Fe is the quint essential diplomat. Smoothing over conversations out of sheer habit/instinct.
    decibell, confused girl28 and Lemxn thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by GoodOldDreamer View Post
    Fi isn't about having internal emotions. Every type, regardless of functions, has those. Fi is about making internal (moral) value judgements. Prioritizing life based on what 'feels' right. INFPs, with dominate Fi, express this rather well by often taking up causes such as animal or environmental care, because they 'feel' it's the right thing to do. They can appear selfish at times, because they will act on what they feel is right internally, regardless of if others agree.

    On the other hand, those with Fe will act on what's right for the 'group', at times appearing more selfless than they are internally because they will often ignore/dismiss their own opinions in favor of the group. Even when they act negatively towards the group, they do so feeling that's what's best for the group.

    INFJs lack Fi in any real capacity. Assuming 'shadow' functions are even a thing (which I highly doubt), Fi would be so inconsequential to an INFJs processes that it would be little more than neglible at best, on a good day. Whatever you think may have been Fi in you is far more likely a combo of other functions 'mimicking' a superficial (and probably mistaken knowledge of) appearance of Fi.

    Regardless of all that, cognitive functions can't be consciously chosen/dismissed/improved no matter which ones you have. Even the main ones. Functions do improve over time, yes, but it's a natural development as the brain develops. You can say you go on inferior Se 'binges' with food or music, for example, but all you are doing is experiencing them. And you can repeat the process and get a completely different experience anyway. You're not an RPG character in Skyrim with a skill based level up system or something. Functions aren't muscles you can flex. They're neurons firing in the brain or whatever. You can't just stare at someone like Superman with xray vision and make your Ni stronger.

    It's like breathing. It's automatic. Hell, you don't even register use of your functions until AFTER the experience.

    As with many things somewhat improperly labeled in MBTI, the 'feeling' functions aren't about emotions. They're more related to... gut instincts, if that's easier to understand. Fe users have gut instincts relating to others. Fi users have gut instincts they developed themselves, regardless and sometimes in spite of others input.

    What you are experiencing or concerned about most likely has to do with you being a 4 than an INFJ. 4s are usually more in tune with their emotions, and therein can become concerned when they feel they are becoming 'numb' or whatever. It's also pretty easy for 4s to mistakenly assume or be told they have Fi, as they are known to give in to their emotional needs and outwardly react similar to types with Fi on a surface level. But that has to do with appearances than true intent.

    An INFJ 4 can react similar to that of an INFP 4 outwardly and get offended at an insult, for example. But the INFJ 4 will get offended because they register the person insulting them wishes them harm (verbally or otherwise) and emotionally respond in a defensive manner. Whilst the INFP 4 will get offended because the person insulting them dared to do so in the first place, as that action goes against their value judgement that every person deserves a basic level of respect. They might not even be concerned with the actual insult itself or even the intent of the person insulting them.

    But both the INFJ and INFP punch the guy in the face (or insert more appropriate response here) so no one outwardly knows the difference.

    Anyway, just IMHO from observations, experience, research and such. Take it or leave it as you wish.
    Before I adress anything you said, I think the simplicity of what I originally wrote has been lost. I don't experience internal emotions anymore. You say that every type experiences internal emotions and that it's not Fi. What if I told you my ENTP friend and ESTP told me they never experience internal emotions? They're Fi Polr.

    If it is not Fi, then it is certainly internal emotions whatever that means. how do I get back in touch with that?
    Last edited by Freeflowingthoughts; 12-10-2015 at 08:10 PM.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by GoodOldDreamer View Post
    That's Fe, not Fi. You are reacting to the external. To conflict among the group. And yes, the group can consist of you and one other person. Extroverted feeling. You're picking up the emotions of others around you, and reacting to that. Fe users are often touted as being physically reactive (such as 'all over my face') because they're literally reacting to the person in front of them able to see their face.

    Fe is the quint essential diplomat. Smoothing over conversations out of sheer habit/instinct.
    Just to clarify your point. Fe is picking up on the internal dynamics of objects, how people or animals are feeling, thinking, scared, wondering etc. Essentially, what is going on beneath the surface, through their facial expressions i.e Emotional intelligence.

    Fi is the internal static of fields so it is the outerworld. It is just not a specific thing in the outerworld but rather a combination of things, their meaning, and how they relate to one another, people, and myself. Feeling internally based off of this is fully plausible and indeed INFPs, ISFPs report their abundance of internal emotion.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by GoodOldDreamer View Post
    Fi isn't about having internal emotions. Every type, regardless of functions, has those. Fi is about making internal (moral) value judgements. Prioritizing life based on what 'feels' right. INFPs, with dominate Fi, express this rather well by often taking up causes such as animal or environmental care, because they 'feel' it's the right thing to do. They can appear selfish at times, because they will act on what they feel is right internally, regardless of if others agree.

    On the other hand, those with Fe will act on what's right for the 'group', at times appearing more selfless than they are internally because they will often ignore/dismiss their own opinions in favor of the group. Even when they act negatively towards the group, they do so feeling that's what's best for the group.

    INFJs lack Fi in any real capacity. Assuming 'shadow' functions are even a thing (which I highly doubt), Fi would be so inconsequential to an INFJs processes that it would be little more than neglible at best, on a good day. Whatever you think may have been Fi in you is far more likely a combo of other functions 'mimicking' a superficial (and probably mistaken knowledge of) appearance of Fi.

    Regardless of all that, cognitive functions can't be consciously chosen/dismissed/improved no matter which ones you have. Even the main ones. Functions do improve over time, yes, but it's a natural development as the brain develops. You can say you go on inferior Se 'binges' with food or music, for example, but all you are doing is experiencing them. And you can repeat the process and get a completely different experience anyway. You're not an RPG character in Skyrim with a skill based level up system or something. Functions aren't muscles you can flex. They're neurons firing in the brain or whatever. You can't just stare at someone like Superman with xray vision and make your Ni stronger.

    It's like breathing. It's automatic. Hell, you don't even register use of your functions until AFTER the experience.
    I want to experience it, not strengthen it.

    It would appear you're not acquainted with Socionics, saying "Assuming 'shadow' functions are even a thing (which I highly doubt), Fi would be so inconsequential to an INFJs processes that it would be little more than neglible at best". Fi is INFJs second most powerful function. It is stronger than Fe. Ever notice how agressive an ESTJ is? That's Se. Ever notice how Ne an ENFJ can get? Ever notice when listening to Brandao talk how Ni he is? Ever notice how Fe Russell Brand is with his antics? Does an INFP do that, the type with the exact same functions but a different shadow function? It does exist.
    Last edited by Freeflowingthoughts; 12-10-2015 at 10:47 PM.


     
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