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This is a discussion on INFJ Random Thoughts Thread within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by _Observer_ Let me be the critic for a moment. Pick couple of photos and post it on ...

  1. #14981
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by _Observer_ View Post
    Let me be the critic for a moment. Pick couple of photos and post it on here or in a relevant thread and let others judge it Ok?
    PS. Hope your recovery from the operation is going well.
    -Ob.
    Well. The bad ones actually are bad. But... usually when I look at the photos directly after the game, I think they're all shit. Usually, when I look at them later, I see little sparkles of hope scattered through out. There are some that are shit blurry, but I'll put them out there because the kids will still like them. Something I learnt early on... if you capture a kid doing something cool, blurry or not, they love that fucking photo! (As long as everyone looking at it can tell it's them? It's all good.)

    I also think the lense I broke/had repaired last year is still shit, repaired or not. A lot of blur and photos blown out with light, which is the same problem it had with the broken elements. (Only more so.) So. A good lense for stills or landscapes, not so much for sports. I'm going to need to get a new one for that, I suspect.


    Oh, and I'm recovering quite well, thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jebediah View Post
    Woke up. Still drunk. Very tired.
    Atta boy, Jebby!

    Quote Originally Posted by MeMyselfandINFJ View Post
    Perfect description. At least from my personal experience as an "older" [or dare I say "wiser"?] INFJ female. I noticed this one day when I was reflecting on the differences between my 1st and current marriage. I am much more emotionally grounded now than I was in my 1st marriage. In my 1st marriage it was a raging joke that I was emotionally unstable, which contributed to my emotional instability lol. Things are drastically different in my current relationship. Emotionally, I've got my shit together.... more rational.... more realistic.... far less needy. Though at times I do find myself dealing with those things. For the most part.... I am the emotionally stable person in my relationship. I am far more aware of what I want.... what I need.... and what I am willing and able to do to make my dreams a reality. And... I can for damn sure say that no one else is going to make that happen for me.... most certainly "love" isn't going to do it. Damn you Disney.


    My experience has been lot of emotional instability... so totally relate to that. Also a lot of emotional manipulation and serious amounts of cling and neediness. (If you ever read a list of the signs of emotional abuse, the other side displayed more than half... and used those frequently.) Completely irrational thought process... it was just... wow. And I had never in my life had to deal with someone that was so emotionally unstable (for lack of a better term)... so, it was extremely overwhelming.

    Of course, tossing my extremely INTJ ass into the mix really didn't do anything at all to help...

    @warweasel
    Yes, indeed However, why do I have to be that exception?! It seems as though life would be much easier if I could just "be" without all the.... hmmm.... "me" ness .[/quote}

    Better than minion(s) than the fearless leader... says the fearless leader!

    I think that is a perfect idea, actually
    . I would def ask you questions... and prolly quite often so there goes the two shits theory as I can give you about 100 shits and I am betting possibly more .

    And, I know what you mean about the fading out. I started a thread a couple years back. I seem to be the only one who posts to it anymore.
    Still thinking on it... perhaps I will. Perhaps I won't. Time will tell.

    Yah, that is pretty funny about the religious tweet-sters. My best guess is they hope to "save" your sorry atheist ass
    . JK about the "sorry atheist" part . I feel you though... they come out of nowhere. Vultures I tell ya.... lol.... I'm Christian... just not mainstream Christian.... so I have no clue how they manage to find me and I def don't need or want most of what they're selling.... [that's not even mentioning my "political" views, which are grounded on the crazy theory that individual liberty supersedes the majority's belief system] But...I look at it like this.... they've opened my door at their own risk.... my guess is that they will eventually run away screaming in horror... so I say "come on down".... amuse me.... I need some laughter in my life. That said.... I would just like some run of the mill followers that genuinely want to know me and I them. That would really make my day.
    Anyone is welcome to follow my Twitter. I don't base my opinons of people on their religion (or any other arbitrary set of circumstance, for that matter) and though I am an Atheist (and strongly so), the vast majority of people I know IRL, including my family, are Christians.

    I'm not a Christian basher. (I will however, call you out if you're being ridiculous... but that expands well past religion, as anybody who knows me will tell you! ) Be as damned Christian as you want to be. It's all good.

    I'm just... it baffles me how these people find me (are they looking for Atheists?) and what leads them to think that I believe as they do... cuz my assumption is that, somehow, they think that I think like they think. (Confused yet? ) And then... I wonder how surprised they are when they start running across the Atheist tweets? Enquiring minds need to know these things and yet, I have no answers...
    Quote Originally Posted by MeMyselfandINFJ View Post
    @warweasel makes sense A LOT!

    I was married to an ISTJ. For the most part it was okay, but all in all, it was a train wreck. We had a hard time meeting in the middle. Takes two to meet in the middle. I felt like I was always the one bending. I grew exhausted and fed up of feeling like there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. Throw in my traumatic childhood.... BAM... perfect ingredients to make me the fall guy. We all want to be accepted and loved for who we are. In the end, I didn't feel love factored into our relationship at all. I needed to be in a relationship that worked as a team.... not one that functioned as rivals. With that said.... I can concur that I did have to learn to think on a different level in order to keep up with him. I guess I failed to do so as I often found myself running to keep up.... to prove that I could be more than I was for him.
    I did a lot of things to keep the peace. Or try to... never enough, apparently, but... yeah. I allowed the other side to get away with far too much... just to keep the peace. It was easier to bend to the constant... demands... than it was to deal with the shit storm that came up if I didn't. (And a lot of times, even when I did...) Pretty much made an flat out attempt to alter who I was in order to keep that shit going... and in the end? Wasn't worth it.

    Ultimately, I believe it was my INJFness that ended the marriage. To a degree, I let my unrealistic expectations of relationships determine that outcome. I'm married to an ISFP now. WOW! That's a whole other kind of train wreck! LOL! But, I can say that having a teammate rather than an opponent is much more conducive to my end game! I still struggle with the whole "letting people walk all over me" part. My solution.... stay away from people. LOL! My hubs basically forces me to stand up for myself. It's almost like a mother putting her foot down with a stubborn child. It's quite funny really. But, it is certainly one of things I most appreciate him for. I know that no matter what he always has my back.... and makes me have my own back too.
    It is good to find someone who you are able to synch up with... and that, in the relationship, allows you to bring out the best in each other. That's the way it's supposed to work. I'm glad you've found that!

    Quote Originally Posted by MeMyselfandINFJ View Post
    My "five" minute walk yesterday was interesting. First of all, it was longer than 5 minutes [yea me]. That was nice. Secondly, it was short lived. I was thoroughly enjoying the beautiful day when an asthma attack came on, which wouldn't have been that big of a deal had I not reached into my pocket to grab my inhaler to find something that just wasn't quite right... nor helpful. <see image below> I ended up having to call my hubs to rescue me. Nevertheless, I accomplished my goal.




    Fast forward to this morning... I wake up to two unhappy individuals [the hubs and myself] because we had to be up at 6am to embark on a 3 hour road trip just to get stupid fingerprints done for an employer background check. We found ourselves even more unhappy shortly after our departure when our front bumper met an unlucky deer up close and personal. Needless to say we are grateful the outcome wasn't much worse, but damn that poor deer.... and damn our poor vehicle.




    Luckily, I was able to find solace in the beauty around me for the remainder of trip and we made it there and back safely and soundly.

    Glad you came out of incidents 1 & 2 unscathed. (Sorry 'bout the car, though!) That is the most important part. And what a lovely photo at the end of it all. Nice way to smooth out the other bumps, eh?

    Quote Originally Posted by WhoPutsTheirFaceOnABus View Post
    Called the cable company.. Over charging me erroneously for months. Offered to reimburse only part of the charges and slash my bill moving forward. Would have come out further ahead in the long run.. but, they broke the original deal so I told them not to reimburse me or change anything. I'm canceling and switching my tv, internet to another company and it might even cost me more. I don't care though.

    My wireless is with the same company too. Need a bit more time to cancel that. Looking at some phones in search of the perfect one. Already read and watched a bunch of YouTube reviews on a few phones I had in mind. I'm going to analyze until there is nothing left to analyze. No such thing as too much researching.

    Found out today a coworker in a motorcycle accident is gonna be ok, but, a long road ahead. I'm convinced karma exists. He's suppose to renovate and move into a new house this month. Happy to be part of a huge group that will be doing the work for him. just goes to show you, if you always help others and never ask for anything in return... you might get it anyways.
    They probably got you for the 8.5 yrs I didn't pay for cable at all. (Sorry that, mate) Glad your coworker is going to be ok. Glad people are going to be doing his rennovations for him. That's awesome.

    One other suggestion, if I may? Be an ear. Having been involved in a very bad car accident years ago, I can tell you that the very first thing that goes away is the ear. The accident, the injuries and the recovery are going to be very upfront and personal for your coworker for a very long time...while it fades to the wayside for everyone else. (Including those closest to him.) If he wants to talk about the accident, the injuries, the recovery process... lend an ear (preferably without letting your eyes gloss over, lol). People really don't want to keep hearing about it, in my experience, long before he'll be done talking about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deejaz View Post
    If you're proved incompatible, is it even possible to pass that and still truly love.. Love is greater than compatibility anyway?.. It's also sacrifice, acceptance and understanding.. But then again is it all worth it? What if it means losing yourself to become more like the other?
    If you compromise yourself for someone else? No. It's not worth it. And love doesn't conquer all. Whomever said that should get a good quick slap in the head for feeding needlessly into fantasies.

    I usually disagree with compromising in most situations. It neutralises but it also inhibits both sides. I don't agree with that inhibitory boundary, not even for the sake of agreeing with each other. I feel it stops the individual to become more of them.

    So if it doesn't feel right, there shouldn't be the need for trying hard to make things work..? But I keep hearing these words..

    "..But love is above that."
    If you're in the relationship, then... by all means, put forth a proper effort, or what the hell are you even doing? But also know, there comes a time when reality needs to factor into it all... if shit ain't working, then move on.

    Quote Originally Posted by INFJRoanna View Post
    I don't mean to contradict your view Deejaz but to me compromising is an essential component to a happy, healthy relationship. I don't mean that you should compromise pieces of yourself, but when you're deciding things together sometimes you have to compromise. After all, things can't be your way 100% of the time, your significant other would begin to feel like their view doesn't matter, and that can lead to trouble. I don't mean this to sound harsh, but I'm not sure any relationship will last if you or your significant other were being stubborn. I think for things to work, yes you have to keep being an individual, you need to be two vibrant pieces in the same puzzle - you also have to want to be part of a team, and sometimes that means compromising.

    Love does go beyond everything. I was incredibly stubborn when I met my ISTJ, we both were - i'm much more down to earth now I think, and a lot more open to the ideas of others. Relationships do change you a lot (especially when you live together), gradually, probably so subtly you wont even notice for a long time - but if it's a healthy relationship it always changes you in a positive way. You both learn things from observing the other.

    If you want to be with an ISTJ then you may just have to compromise sometimes. I don't mean this to offend anyone but ISTJs, especially mine, will stick to their guns if they know they are right - but they also only talk about things that are important to them. From my experience if they love you they will want to take care of you, and whether they admit it or not they like to be taken care of too, and part of that means they need to know they are being heard (but then so do most people).

    The only thing I will say is listen to eachother, care for one another, and keep your mind and your heart open wide.
    I agree with everything but the love going beyond anything. Nope. Beyond a lot of things, perhaps... but not everything. That doesn't mean you don't try, of course. Of course you should... but you should also know when you've hit the wall... because sometimes? There's a wall. When you get there? Time to stop. You can't force love... no matter how much you try. (And why should you try? If you have to force anything, there's clearly a problem.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemxn View Post
    I think I am to start training on mornings starting from tomorrow, I have been sleeping to noon almost everyday from the past months and feel like a walrus. I hate being so lazy and the weather is not helping.
    I'm now picturing you with tusks and whiskers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mschievious View Post
    Good Morning PerC!

    Hey @INFJRoanna and @Deejaz,

    It seems I have another 2 cents - LOL!

    My oldest son, 23, is an ISTJ and I can only imagine the difficulties an INFJ would have with him. My goodness, it makes my head hurt really. I know they would need to be internally strong and really stand firm on what they deem important to them.

    He and I have come to blows, so to speak, several times over the course of his life. Through his teen years and now early 20's, I've learned to stand my ground and more than anything, in conflict especially, to be direct and to the point. No ethereal ideas or concepts, just rock solid: this is this, that is that.

    At the same time, through a tremendous amount of patience, he's slowly learned that in a heated moment if something is said that triggers a deep emotion in me, that no further communication is going to be beneficial until we stop and address the triggered emotion. For example, was it on purpose? Or did the trigger happen before he finished his thought?

    Their thinking is so structured/rigid, that it takes time, but they can grasp what happens when a feeler experiences a substantial emotion and how that plays into communication and subsequently life.

    Pure theory and conjecture here, but I do think that an unhealthy ISTJ could be a terribly bully and run all over an INFJ. At the same time, an unhealthy INFJ could be an emotional landmine.
    Dunno any ISTJs (let alone unhealthy ones), but... I've met several unhealthy INFJs... and YES. Holy balls, yes.

    That being said... I imagine the INTJs and ISTJs have some similar issues when it comes to getting along well with... well, anyone, lol. Your ISTJ sounds a lot like me. And... I don't consider myself unhealthy, by any stretch... I do know I can be exceptionally difficult for people to get along with sometimes. I can be quiet dickish when that mood strikes... usually, there's some provocation that's come from without that's prompted a dickish response... but sometimes, just dickish because.

    And often quite unintentionally dickish. I certainly have my moments. I can be very... forthcoming and perhaps a little less polished in my delivery than most people are used to, lol. And when I'm exasperated by someone else's idiocy, I have a very hard time keeping unfiltered comments from leaving my mouth. (I did not call the director of my facility an idiot during our 2 convos regarding her being an idiot... nor did I call her ridiculous... I told her she was behaving in a ridiculous fashion and that what she was saying was illogical, untrue and... probably a few other things, I don't recall... I was annoyed. But, had she not been the director of the entire facility, she'd have heard far more honest words/opinions... trust me, lol.)

    The lovely thing about you mature female INFJs... many of you, that I've talked to directly (via PMs or off site) have done me a great service by actually taking the time to explain why an INFJ might react this way or that or what the hell they were even going on about (I have no clue about 110% of the time, lol)... and some have done a fine job of drawing parallels between those feeler INFJ feelings and things that I've actually experienced (for different reasons, usually) so that I can make that feels connection that is often completely lost on me. Doing that has allowed me to use empathy from my own experiences and apply it where I'm not so empathic because I don't have that experience to draw upon. (If any of that makes any sense?)

    Anyway... youse all been helpful, is what I'm saying.

    Quote Originally Posted by shellsea52 View Post
    Why do people ask for advice then completely ignore it?
    I expect because there's some form of truth in the advice that they don't wish to have any part of... that's been my experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jebediah View Post
    They ask you for advice in the hopes that you affirm their way of thinking. When it doesn't, they stop listening.
    Or this...

    ~~~

    So, yesterday.

    The dog show was a bust, really. Small event, most of it the foo-foo show dog nonsense. (With the perfectly coifed pooches being held to their breed standard and what not.) I much prefer the obedience/agility trials and shows to this foo-foo nonsense.

    Partly because this foo-foo nonsense has ruined some breed of dogs (in the US, at any rate) by breeding them to be... monsterous examples of the AKC's "breed standards"... I also feel like a great many of these people couldn't give two shits about their dogs. I saw large RVs in the lot with as many as 15 dogs in pens outside. These are not beloved pets, by and large. They're ribbons and $$$s and not much more.

    I find it disgusting.

    Outside of one ring there was an older lady (by older, I mean older than me and my mom) who had a smooth coated collie. Lovely dog. Until it barked. Just a wee little raspy noise came out of it. After the lady left, my mom asked why the dog barked like that... thinking it must be sick or it must've barked itself hoarse...

    Most likely, it's because they've cut his vocal cords, mom.

    And I told her that because... most likely they've cut his vocal cords. He doesn't need to bark to look pretty after all.

    Devocaliztion, they call it. I'm not a fan... let's just leave it at that.

    We eventually found the agility event... and it was ok. Small event, though, so it wasn't that much fun. Far better, however, than watching foo-foo dogs being pranced and posed about, though. (Only just.)

    Sat through that until my butt hurt (a few hours) and then took mom to Sonic Drive Inn for chow. Watched the boy wait staff there as he repeatedly nearly killed himself trying to roller skate in taking orders and delivering food.

    Now... for you cross the ponders... a Drive Inn is an eating establishment where you (typically) order at and eat in your car. These establishments were extremely popular in the 50s & 60s in the US... even McDonald's started as this type of establishment. (And effectively ran all the others outta business by the 70s...) Sonic is the modern version of the drive in. Though most Sonics I've been to have at least a few tables inside the establishment, most dining is meant to be done in your car or at tables outside.

    And... back in the day, your wait staff roller skated. Why? I have no idea. Easier on the legs and more fun to do? Perhaps. Most places, including Sonic, don't require you skate any longer. It is, however, optionally at Sonic. Some do skate (usually females), but most do not.

    So, you have this young lad with skates on. I'm pretty sure, judging by how well he was doing, he'd probably never had skates on his feet before in his entire life. Every step... we watched, waiting for him to flail helplessly to the ground... often with a tray full of food in his arms... he never did... fall, I mean. But he flailed. A lot.

    For his entertainment value alone, I tipped him. He seemed surprised. (most do not tip at fast food places, after all.) But, I figured he deserved the $3 (or whatever it was left as change from my $20) since he entertained me for a solid 15 minutes. Besides, the probability of him busting his ass before the night was over was pretty high.

    After that I came home and tried to nap. That didn't work. Tried to watch Netflix, but it was being quite wankish... so I had to work on fixing that issue. Then... I watched The Inbetweeners movie... which sucked nuts, mostly. Series? I recommend. The movie? Not so much...

    Then I started watching The Walking Dead... cuz I remembered, finally, that the new eps were up. I mean, I knew that already... but I kept forgetting to watch. So, there ya go. I watched that until some football came on... Then I watched that... then, after the game, back to TWD.

    TWD marathon until 0330, basically.

    One comment, one question concerning all that. Comment: The Governor story line is fucking boring as hell. I get that we're building up to a war or some shit (it's not exactly unobvious), but seriously. BORING. Fuck all boring. And the Question: Why the fuck is that wanker Rick still alive? I really don't like him. He's such a fucking pussy... he irritates the shit outta me.

    I don't know where I left off. Netflix will tell me when I come back. I fully intended to watch more tonight, but... have all these damn photographs to sort through and edit and all that nonsense. So... yeah. Didn't have time for any more TWD.

    I still have to play the second episode of the game through. I need to do that soonish.

    But I've got so much shit going on right now. Three classes to sort through, photos to sort through... may be a while before I have much time to do a whole lot of gaming, I'm afraid.

    And now it's almost time to go to work. Yee. Haw. Damn weekends need to be longer. Seriously.

    So... I guess it's time to end this ridiculously long, multi quoted post and get myself ready to get to work. I have mucho studies to get after tonight. Finish my homework for musculoskeletal anatomy and start for the terrorism/psych of CJ courses. So. Much. To. Do. I hope I don't get overwhelmed before I'm released from modified duty... a lot of work, not a lot of time.

    Siochain, minions!
    Last edited by warweasel; 10-06-2014 at 04:44 AM.

  2. #14982
    INFJ - The Protectors


    I'm just not so fast to have this automatic compassion for people dealing with misfortune any more. I used to always assume bad things only happen to good people. Some people are just plain old rotten and the rotten seeds they've sown are beginning to take root.

  3. #14983
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I almost always have thoughts like:

    Someone was nicer than anyone else today

    or

    Someone has felt more pain than anyone else

    Things along that line.
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  4. #14984
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Why isn't the nyquil working? I have to work tomorrow...extra strength my ass.
    warweasel, warweasel, warweasel and 12 others thanked this post.

  5. #14985

    @warweasel I think I may have worded that incorrectly (I usually always do - i end up editing my posts 2-3 times before i'm happy) - what I meant to say was that there's not really anything my ISTJ could do that would make me stop loving him (he wouldnt do anything bad enough in the first place) - I didn't mean that I have to force myself to.
    I see what you were saying and I agree, if things were seriously wrong sometimes love isn't enough. You do have to find a place where you respect yourself too much to take any more rubbish from someone else. Not that I'm speaking from experience. Merely speculation as usual


    It's good to know that we've helped you apply empathy when you need to, i imagine that's helpful in a lot of situations. For example when not to call the director illogical In all seriousness, what I'm trying to say is I think that thinker types such as INTJs and feeler types such as INFJs do have plenty to learn from one another. I think both types help eachother grow within themselves to a certain degree.
    For example as I stated earlier I think I have radically changed since meeting my ISTJ. I'm much more logical than I used to be, and I do stand up for myself a lot more now. Philip has kind of learned to have a filter depending on the situation (he had serious filter issues before).

    I think maybe that ISTJs and INTJs seem to have a lot in common, that will probably be something I will read into. And now I am totally nerding out over getting to research something
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  6. #14986

    Thinking about getting some more tattoos soon though I will have to get one of my tattoos fixed first (my birds on my hip). It was fading in the first place but since I had surgery it has been damaged slightly, the birds have had their wings clipped slightly! I haven't had any tattoos in a few years because I take my time deciding what to get. I don't want to regret any of them, this is one of those instances where being far too sensible is good for me.


    I am thinking about getting one of these next :

    endless_knot_by_coldsnnap-d32blzu.jpg

    Philip is also going to get one somewhere If I do - I hope we're not tempting fate being as though a lot of people say you're 'cursed' if you get matching tattoos - doomed to split up. But then I think, as superstitious as I am, does my recently T orientated brain really believe in curses? Why would anything happen just because we had a matching tattoo, that would be simply ludicrous! I have seen the universe work in strange ways though.



    Also, I recently had to start using google chrome (firefox stopped working properly and internet explorer sucks - so its by pure default) and it has this feature where you can add a background to your homepage. I didnt know at first and my ISTJ put a totoro background on for me so now its on my tab bar too he's a sweetheart.
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  7. #14987




    Hey everyone, I found this video online and I just had to share it! Sweet little baby starts crying at a song her mum is singing. It's sooo cute
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  8. #14988
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Then View Post
    I almost always have thoughts like:

    Someone was nicer than anyone else today

    or

    Someone has felt more pain than anyone else

    Things along that line.
    I definitely do the latter... especially when I'm thinking about feeling sorry for myself. So many people suffer so much more than I do, often undeservedly so... it's kinda hard to feel sorry for yourself when you put that into your little perspective.

    Quote Originally Posted by Noelle View Post
    Why isn't the nyquil working? I have to work tomorrow...extra strength my ass.
    VODKA. Lots and lots of vodka. You may not sleep any better, but you'll not give a shit, either.

    Quote Originally Posted by INFJRoanna View Post
    @warweasel I think I may have worded that incorrectly (I usually always do - i end up editing my posts 2-3 times before i'm happy) - what I meant to say was that there's not really anything my ISTJ could do that would make me stop loving him (he wouldnt do anything bad enough in the first place) - I didn't mean that I have to force myself to.


    No, I know. I didn't take it that way. It was more a general statement (brought on by "love is above that" comment from the other poster)... that whole "love conquers all" mentality (among other silly statements or phrases like "unconditional love", etc) drive me bat shit fucking crazy. Love doesn't conquer all. It may conquer a lot... a hell of a lot, actually, but not all. Somethings just can't be overcome and if they take that much effort, then... you're probably barking up the wrong tree to begin with...

    I see what you were saying and I agree, if things were seriously wrong sometimes love isn't enough. You do have to find a place where you respect yourself too much to take any more rubbish from someone else. Not that I'm speaking from experience. Merely speculation as usual
    I'm definitely speaking from experience. At some point, enough is enough... lines get crossed that can't (and shouldn't) be uncrossed. If your relationship is more grief and constantly having to defend yourself, over everything... then you're just not in a healthy relationship. (Conversely... the same could be said of the opposite, as far as I'm concerned. If you never disagree, argue, bicker, etc and so forth... something's not right. Nobody gets along that well... human beings just aren't built like that.)

    It's good to know that we've helped you apply empathy when you need to, i imagine that's helpful in a lot of situations. For example when not to call the director illogical In all seriousness, what I'm trying to say is I think that thinker types such as INTJs and feeler types such as INFJs do have plenty to learn from one another. I think both types help eachother grow within themselves to a certain degree. For example as I stated earlier I think I have radically changed since meeting my ISTJ. I'm much more logical than I used to be, and I do stand up for myself a lot more now. Philip has kind of learned to have a filter depending on the situation (he had serious filter issues before).
    And it is truth! I have a hard time applying empathy in areas where I have no experience or anything to relate the feeling toward. I'm not exceptionally emotional, I've never felt... unloved or as if I were going to be abandoned... or anything of that nature, really. Even bullying, as a kid... I was a victim, in that people bullied me, but it didn't really effect me the way it does other kids. Even at that young age, I chalked it up to them having an issue, not me. (It effected me in that I remember it, so it's not like it had zero effect, it's just that... it didn't hurt my feelings.) I just deal with things in an extremely logical, rational way and always have.

    What has helped me is a few different INFJ females using areas where I did have feels and... translating them into how someone else feels in a different situation, but one that evokes a similiar (in a fashion, at least) emotion. I don't always get it, but there were a few light bulbs that got turned on in the process. (And I even surprised them a couple of times, when I did understand things that they thought I wouldn't... but again, those were in areas where I'd had experience and was able it all the way to the end of the feelery process, lol.)
    I think maybe that ISTJs and INTJs seem to have a lot in common, that will probably be something I will read into. And now I am totally nerding out over getting to research something
    You will have to let me know. I don't have any experience with them. Or... maybe I do and don't realize it. I suck at typing people (except other INTJs) so... I don't even try to type people.

    Quote Originally Posted by INFJRoanna View Post
    Thinking about getting some more tattoos soon though I will have to get one of my tattoos fixed first (my birds on my hip). It was fading in the first place but since I had surgery it has been damaged slightly, the birds have had their wings clipped slightly! I haven't had any tattoos in a few years because I take my time deciding what to get. I don't want to regret any of them, this is one of those instances where being far too sensible is good for me.

    I am thinking about getting one of these next :

    endless_knot_by_coldsnnap-d32blzu.jpg

    Philip is also going to get one somewhere If I do - I hope we're not tempting fate being as though a lot of people say you're 'cursed' if you get matching tattoos - doomed to split up. But then I think, as superstitious as I am, does my recently T orientated brain really believe in curses? Why would anything happen just because we had a matching tattoo, that would be simply ludicrous! I have seen the universe work in strange ways though.
    It is a silly belief. People like to believe in silly things. The brain wants to correlate one to the other. (Silly brain!) Brains like patterns... so you see people get matching tats and break up, especially if you see several of them, and the brain translates that to everyone who gets a matching tat, ends up breaking up... when, in all likelihood, there are thousands and thousands and thousands of people with matching tats who don't break up. (There's a word for this... or phrase. Either way, I can't remember it, lol.)

    Oh... and I'm also getting ready to get a new tat soon. I'm just not sure exactly when. Soonish, though. [/QUOTE]

    ~~~

    Ah, Monday. Die you beast!

    So, the night went along quite well, all things considered. I finished my homework for the musculoskeletal anatomy course. The only areas lacking in these 8 or 9 modules involved cells and nerves. Apparently, I'm not as well versed with those things as I am the rest of the anatomy and physiology stuff. And that's ok... 94%, overall, in my first week of homework. As long as I can continue to score well in most things (I got 100% on most of my assignments), the areas where I'm weak (but still passing) won't be such a big deal. (My lowest score was 75%... still passing, just not maintaining my standards, really.)

    I listened to some lectures in the Terrorism/Counterterrorism class. Had assigned reading to do, but it wouldn't load on my tablet. So... couldn't really do any of the questions. (Which require essay answers, of all things) I'm not sure how long I will stick with this course. I intend to finish it... but if the reading material never loads properly on my tablet, then... that's going to be a huge issue and may cause me to drop the course because of time issues. (I have a lot of time to do these courses at work... not so much time to spend doing them at home, sooooooooo...)

    We'll see, I guess. The other course doesn't start until Oct. 21. Silly me, I thought it started last week. That's actually good timing, however. I should be a good bit into these other two courses by then, so the work load won't be so demanding.

    So. I did that stuff and I played games when I was finished. And then I went home. And I got paid for doing that.


    Today is my shift bid day. It's a supreme pain in the ass in good circumtances. And these are not good circumstances! I had just gotten my time to call in and bid my shift down to around 10a... which is good. That's just about 30 minutes (give or take) beyond my "bed time". I can do that! And I had to wait years (Until people ahead of me in seniority quit or got fired) to move up to that reasonably acceptable time.

    And then?

    Then they go and change the whole fucking thing. Of course. And now my call in time? Noon. Fucking NOON. Which now means I have to try to stay my ass awake until noon. The consequences of not calling in on time? Moving to the bottom of the seniority list. The. Bottom. Which means, I'd get whatever shift (most likely 2nd shift) with shitty days off (Tue/Wed, probably) that nobody else in the entire facility wanted.

    And...

    Fuck that, that's the and... hell, no. I'm 8th in the building in seniority... I want to pick my shift according to that, not get the scraps left behind at the end of the day. (And yes... people do, occasionally, miss their call times.) I'd be highly likely to quit my fucking job if I got stuck on 2nd shift. Not even kidding.

    So, you see... it's imperative that I be awake, at noon, and making that call. Absolutely imperative.

    I have an alarm set (in case I doze off) a note for my mom to make sure to wake me and my sis agreed to call me on both my home phone and my cell phone, right around noon. (I have from 12-1230 to make the call.) This is always a very nerve wracking day for me just because I fear not calling in and getting the crumbs... that would suck so bad, you don't even know.

    After that (and after my possible nervous break down...), I'll be able to go to sleep and what not. Until then? Going to try very hard to stay awake. Whatever it takes, yo. Any means necessary... and all that other good shit!

    So. Right now? I'm going to post this up and go watch more The Walking Dead... whilst I'm still reasonably unsleepy. When I finish that (or start to get sleepy), I'll move back to the pc and continue editing football photos. (I certainly have a lot of time to get that done...) Maybe I'll play some TLOU in there somewhere as well...

    Tally ho!
    Noelle thanked this post.

  9. #14989
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Eh, I don't know if Vodka is going to help this. I just found out the coworker that got me sick is in the hospital with pneumonia. I'm supposed to go on my first vacation in ten years, first one with my husband who I've been with for 7 years (we didn't do a honey moon), in two days. There was a $700 non refundable deposit put down on this vacation.

    Guess im off too urgent care to beg them for a miracle cure that will make me better in two days and keep husband well. When I got a tiny fever on friday I was really hoping it was a cold that was going to go away in a couple days.

    This was the part time coworker that decided to come in sick because they already had two days to make up because they decided to take extra vacation days off (that they don't have because they're part time yet people still let them have it) and didn't want to have to work any more 4 day weeks than they already had to.


    I am overflowing with unholy and very unINFJlike anger. And mucus.
    warweasel thanked this post.

  10. #14990

    Quote Originally Posted by Mschievious View Post
    Good Morning PerC!

    Hey @INFJRoanna and @Deejaz,

    It seems I have another 2 cents - LOL!

    My oldest son, 23, is an ISTJ and I can only imagine the difficulties an INFJ would have with him. My goodness, it makes my head hurt really. I know they would need to be internally strong and really stand firm on what they deem important to them.

    He and I have come to blows, so to speak, several times over the course of his life. Through his teen years and now early 20's, I've learned to stand my ground and more than anything, in conflict especially, to be direct and to the point. No ethereal ideas or concepts, just rock solid: this is this, that is that.

    At the same time, through a tremendous amount of patience, he's slowly learned that in a heated moment if something is said that triggers a deep emotion in me, that no further communication is going to be beneficial until we stop and address the triggered emotion. For example, was it on purpose? Or did the trigger happen before he finished his thought?

    Their thinking is so structured/rigid, that it takes time, but they can grasp what happens when a feeler experiences a substantial emotion and how that plays into communication and subsequently life.

    Pure theory and conjecture here, but I do think that an unhealthy ISTJ could be a terribly bully and run all over an INFJ. At the same time, an unhealthy INFJ could be an emotional landmine.


    I've not been in a romantic relationship with an ISTJ, to be honest I can't even imagine it.




    At the very same time, I really hope my son falls for and marries an INFJ some day!

    So I am wishing you both the best in your relationships!
    thank you a lot for this! aww! and I wish your relationship with your son only grows stronger


    Quote Originally Posted by MeMyselfandINFJ View Post
    I would like to believe that love can conquer all. I did for most of my life. I fear that my experiences have challenged that belief, that hope, that expectation. When it comes down to it.... so many other things factor in. Compatibility is only part of the equation. You've mentioned several major factors, sacrifice, acceptance, and understanding. One of the BIG one's is forgiveness. Another is an individuals ability to be an "individual.... learning to be separate, but together. I don't believe it is a good idea at all to lose yourself in someone else. In my opinion that is a recipe for disaster. Compromise.... is def a good thing... as long as you do not lose yourself.

    I have yet to find the happy medium between "love is above that" and "working at love." There are so many factors that weigh in on relationships that it just isn't as simple as "love conquers all," yet I would like to believe... it's the "be all" to a relationship.... when all else fails.... loving each other [I would hope] prevails.

    Love includes, but is not limited to, all of the things mentioned above.... sacrifice, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness, compromise, GRATITUDE. Compatibility can only go so far. If two people do not know how to 1)be an individual, 2)work as a team, and 3) love [including all the characteristics above].... compatibility means shit. I was extremely attracted to my ISTJ ex. To be honest... I still am in a way.... he is the father of my children. Apart from my children going to live with him instead of me.... making the choice to walk away from him was the HARDEST thing I ever had to do. I didn't know about personality typing before that. I don't know if knowing about it would have changed anything though. All I do know is that I have grown leaps and bounds since then. Learned so much about myself.... things I don't think I would have learned otherwise. In the end.... my decision to leave factored down to one thing..... and that is that all three of the points I made above where absent from the relationship, as well as, the compatibility issue. Had the three things been there.... even to the slightest degree.... things would probably have turned out differently in spite of the compatibility issue.

    This is just the starting points. Add in differing perceptions, misconceptions, families, children, work, stress, childhood issues, depression, anxiety, lack of communication, blah blah blah..... its easy to forget the "love" and hold onto resentment, fear, guilt, shame.... and all the other things that throw a wrench in the mix.

    ISTJs are intriguing. I loved many qualities about him. The bottom line is that it takes two. Two to love... two to work at it... because life takes work.
    Perhaps I missed forgiveness and gratitude because these are the areas I tend to forget.
    I've only started learning to be grateful recently by counting my graces. And forgiveness? I don't usually get myself in complicated situations were forgiveness is needed, I stir away from conflict~ usually anyway.. and so forgiveness is one I haven't been too familiar with as much as the others. I find this the hard one, I'd say I'm working on it. Thank you, I appreciate this, I'll probably even have to read this over and over again.

    @warweasel a differing response, (ofcourse, an INTJ :D) but just as true. What am I doing? I am on the verge of going into one, like we've been 'together' for awhile.. it's complicated.. but I'm just not sure if I should pull through or save the heartache. But I think I have a pretty good idea now. "but you should also know when you've hit the wall.." I'll keep that in mind. Yes the part about love does not conquer all is true in a way, but I'd like to believe it does (just a bit?). Is there anything stronger than love? I can't think of any.. yet.. but like you said and which I agree on is that it can't be forced upon.


     

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