Couple of weeks ago I was thinking that I might have a cybersex addiction. Or at the very least, be abusing the internet. So I read the first chapter of a book on cybersex and could relate a little bit to what was being said, but not a whole lot. A few days later, I go and see a doctor and she thinks that I am dealing with burnout. At first, I wasn't sure about that. I thought that maybe I just wasn't doing my job properly. Reluctantly I took time off of work. As part of my treatment, I decided to do some sort of book to try and help myself out. I read one chapter of a burnout book and could really relate to what was being said. So I purchased the book, and am working on the exercises in it. I think the using the internet was a way to cope with the burnout, all though not a good one.
I am glad I didn't immediately buy the book on cybersex and start going down that path for my well being. I think part of it is my whole life is surrounding by addiction as I work in the field, so I thought some sort of addiction must be the problem. Also, just everywhere I look now, it seems like everything is blaming all problems on addiction and/or mental health. I also think that in some way it would have made it easier on me to have an addiction as than it gives me an excuse. Now, I know I need to make changes at work and other areas of my life and that will be hard for me. I am going to have to go outside of my comfort zone. This will include trusting that other people can help me and setting boundaries. It will also involve slowing down the pace of my life and saying no.