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This is a discussion on INFJ Random Thoughts Thread within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Eren Jaegerbomb INFJs. Say if you were working at a company for a number of years, and ...

  1. #36851

    Quote Originally Posted by Eren Jaegerbomb View Post
    INFJs.

    Say if you were working at a company for a number of years, and you enjoy the job, get a decent pay, etc. What would you do, or how would you react if suddenly one day, that a new part of your job would have you lying and manipulating people for whatever the company's goal is. Or that your company has been working towards a particular goal the entire time, but since your position isn't high ranking enough, you were left in the dark about it.

    What would you do if you were in this position? What if you had no choice but to stay in the job because you need the money to live and help provide for your family if you have one?

    Would you stick it out and feel guilty the whole time or would you find another job?

    Was asking because I was talking about this, and, was wondering how this part of the town would react. ^^.


    To answer this myself, I couldn't apply for a job at a company or to a particular type of job that I know involves deceit, in a bad way. If I were already at the job, well, using my current real life situation, I can't really afford to lose a job. It would be hard to live with myself, but what could I do. Alternatively though, I could just look for a different job in the meantime. Ultimately, I wouldn't like being in this situation though.
    Hi Eren!

    I'd be ouuuuut. Peace out mofo's there's always another job
    ohTOMICho and Eren Jaegerbomb thanked this post.

  2. #36852

    Quote Originally Posted by warweasel View Post
    @kelly Kapowski

    PerC isn't allowing me to quote reply... damn it. I hope this works!



    I think some MRs choose not to see what they see, if you know what I mean? They see it, but they don't want to see it... so they rationalize it away. I think some are maybe afraid to get involved, for whatever reason. It happens. I think it's better than it used to be, as far as reporting is concerned... but not reporting still happens.
    Yes, this makes sense. Well I mean it doesn't make sense it's stupid but it is probably a likely reason.


    Quote Originally Posted by warweasel View Post
    As far as parents being lazy? Yes. Maybe? To a degree. But also, I think a lot of parents are just fucking tired. Particularly single parents. If everyone's at work or working two jobs... or three jobs, it's hard to be raising kids in the midst of that. Our kids' parents don't have jobs that pay well. They have either poor paying full time jobs and/or have multiple part time jobs. If you're working 12-16 hr days most of the days of the week... I'm guessing you're not doing a whole lot of parenting.

    My friend Bryan's family was like this. Bryan is 10 yrs younger than I am (started out as my lil bro's friend) and when his parents got divorced, shit went south for his family. He had three siblings, his sister was special needs. Bryan was like... 16? All his siblings were younger... and his mom had a decent job (post office) but she worked 3rd shift. So... Bryan became a parent. Fortunately, he was a good, responsible kid... or who knows what would've happend?

    My sis & bil & myself did all we could do to help his mom... when Bryan was in a car accident and wrecked her mini van... we finished putting the transmission together in his car and reinstalling it so she had a way to get to work. (Bryan was in the hospital and his car was in parts in the car port. Up to that point, his mom was very leery of us... why are these much older young adults hanging out with my teenage son? You know? But after that? She realized we were actually looking out for him.)

    I think jobs are more stressful now... I just... I dunno. If I was trying to raise a kid, right now, would I be good at it? Fuck no. My job sucks the soul out of me. The last thing I would want to do is come home and deal with more mess, you know? It would not be pretty... and kudos to those that are able to spin all those wheels at once, even most of the time, cuz... that's... wow.

    My sis & bil didn't have time for their kids early on, because of their jobs. So, my sis rectified that situation by doing in home daycare... she could be home for her kids, raise her kids (as opposed to have the school/daycare raise them) and she could still make money. It's not a viable option for everyone, but that's what they did.
    This is true, these are very good points. There are a lot of single moms at my kid's school & I have no idea how they are making things work. Such a huge amount of stress. I'm tired & I have it easy, comparatively. I try to help a couple of them with taking kids when I can, but that really doesn't do anything big picture. I can't imagine trying to raise a family as a single parent on a single income.

    This is where the idea of community comes in that you touched on yesterday. This is where it needs to happen. Helping each other out when needed. As in your example above with Bryan. That is wonderful. Not nosing one's way into someone else's business, but actually offering to help. People are so quick to judge & condemn, complain, report. How many actually do something about it? I see this a lot at church unfortunately. I know you're the opposite of a religious guy , but complaining about little kids misbehaving at church comes up far more than I'd like to admit. Hey, here's an idea, how about you offer TO HELP instead of doing absolutely NOTHING but complain. Stupid. I'm not going to get into church talk, but there are many positive things too. Just feel the need to add that. Sucky people are everywhere, unfortunately. No place immune from it. Thankfully there's wonderful people to work with those sucky dumb butts too. :)

    I had a loooong paragraph on work & time for kids. I deleted it. I have strong feelings on this topic.

    Good for your sister, I'm happy that worked out for them! I tried that route (watching other's children) when mine were little as a source of extra income. Didn't last too long, I found I was ignoring my own children to give needed attention to the other kids & I didn't like that. It seemed like what the heck is the point. It pays so little, it wasn't worth it. We just cut waaaaaay back in our budget.

    In regards to coming home to kids after working all day, I've found I actually have more patience with my kids on days when I sub. I miss them. Maybe it makes me appreciate them & our life a little more too, being exposed to families that have so many more struggles.



    Quote Originally Posted by warweasel View Post
    I've seen articles on such things. Free roam parenting? Really? It's not so much a thing here because this is a small town in a rural state... kids do play outside. On occasion. I think that kids are lazier than they used to be. They'd rather sit inside in front of a screen all day long than go outside and do something. We had video games, too... thing is we'd be playing Atari football or whatever... get into a game on the console and after a bit, we'd get an itching to actually go play football instead of pretend playing. I don't think kids are like that anymore. Of course, I get the draw... I'm a gamer. If you're a kid who's a loner or a misfit or whatever... games are perfect escapes. Like books, but with visuals, yeah?

    But being from the middle and hearing about someone getting cps called on them for allowing their children to free roam is a very bizarre thing to me.

    Right, agree. There are lots of factors to take into account. When I was a kid we spent all day riding our bikes around town. But that was a small town. I live in a very large city now. I'm not going to let me kids have the freedoms I would if we lived in a small town. It's just not safe. I wonder how much this hinders their development. Not having the freedoms I had to expore & learn. (I mean outside of our backyard. There's just so many learning opportunities they're not exposed to because of it. ) I also wonder if I would hold back more than I'd care to admit though, even if we lived in a small town. There's just so much fear of a kid getting kidnapped. This is an area where I do worry.

    ATARIIIII that just reminded me that I had this face-making game that i loooooved bahaha so lame. River City Ransom. You could pick up these chains & garbage cans around town & hit the bad guys with them. My brother & I would play that for hours. Maybe that one was Nintendo. One of my very favorite places to go here is this little brewery that has free old-school games during certain hours & tons of beers to sample that you pour yourself. DUCK HUNT IS MUCH HARDER THAN I REMEMBER

    Video games. They have there place. My kids would play them all the time if they had the choice. As it is now, they are limited to a couple of hours only on the weekend. There is a noticeable difference in their behavior when they are given more freedoms with it. There was a time when they got a half hour on weekdays when their chores were done after school. That went bye-bye quickly. They were emotional little shits. And rushing their responsibilities to get to electronics. Pet peeve: hearing whining & "WHAT?!? THAT'S NOT FAAIIIIR IT'S CHEAATINGGGGG waaaaahhhh wah wahhhhh ELECTRONICS OFF comes out of my mouth in .0002 seconds. They just get sooo emotional. It's crazy what a change it made in their behavior when we took away electronics during the week.

    Some games are good for them. Mindcraft actually does encourage creativity. I think games can make loners even more of a loner though? Idk, I get the idea of an escape, but is that necessarily a good thing? I think more & more people are escaping into video games & consequently have a harder time functioning in the real world. I mean I get it, I'm an introvert so I'd pick just about anything over spending time with people, but is that healthy? Really? I think sometimes the best thing for us is to be pushed outside of our comfort zone. Just my opinion. I've never really felt like a loner exactly though, so maybe I don't quite understand? I have friends. I just far prefer to be by myself.



    Quote Originally Posted by warweasel View Post
    Yes. We do have this situation. Usually, it's because one or both of the parents are in prison. Occasionally, it's because of a death or because the parent(s) have just up and disappeared. I feel bad for the grandparents. Quite often they're really trying and they really do care, they just don't have the energy (or situational awareness) to deal with teenagers anymore. Grandparents don't give up, usually, they're usually in there fighting tooth and nail. They're just usually not very successful with it, sadly.
    Yes. And from what I've seen, the grandparent in care can be a bit of a push-over. They are afraid to be firm with the grandkid. Which is understandable, they are supposed to be the grandparent, not the parent. But in both the cases I mentioned before, the grandmas have no backbone what so ever. It was evident with their own kids, and now it's repeating with the grandkids. Don't give kids boundaries and it screeewwws theeeeem uuuuuupppp. Only sets them up for failure.

    And the tiredness. That is true as well. I barely have enough energy for my kids now, couldn't imagine trying to do it all over again down the road.



    Quote Originally Posted by warweasel View Post
    Things have changed. A bit. There's still a lot of messaging to boys about keeping their emotions in check, though. It's the same stuff that keeps cops/COs/soldiers, etc from coming forward when they're suffering from PTSD. There is still negative vibes sent out at those who suffer from it... that they're weak, not manly enough, etc. Parents may be raising boys differently and society may be a little less demanding, but men/boys still are not very accepting of those they perceive to be "weak".

    I have a tough time with it sometimes. Sometimes I don't even realized I'm doing it. When I was in my 20s, the grandfather of family friends passed away. The sons, who were 17 & 15 yrs old, were pall bearers for their grandfather. They wept inconsolably during the service and all the while they were carrying the casket and all I could think the entire time was... what the hell is wrong with them? Both of my grandfathers were dead, one died when I was 17... I didn't carry on like that. Grandpa was old... grandpa was sick... grandpa died. That's how life works. And... it was bizarre to me that these two wept like that through the entire service. I didn't shed any tears when any of my grandparents died. They were old, old people die. I didn't see anything sad in that.

    So... I still have moments like that. When stuff has been banged into your head from the get go, it's really hard to not go directly to that, you know? I mean... I know I shouldn't and I try really hard not to, but... it's a tough dealio. And even if I control out it outwardly... maybe I don't call you a pussy outright, but chances are I'm still thinking it. Raised old school...

    Do you think this is a man-woman thing though or a personality thing? I mean, I agree overall there is much more pressure for men to "be manly" & not show emotions. By far. It's acceptable for women to get together & talk to each other about our feelings & emotions. Men don't really do that stuff. It's interesting & unfortunate. Everyone should have a safe place I guess. Though this is also why i prefer the company of men. Too much girl talk makes my insides itch. There's a lot more to it, I guess. I was the same as you when my mom died. I was 11. I don't remember crying & I remember thinking people were whackos for being so emotional. I was pretty emotionless when my grandparents & dad died too. It can make me very uncomfortable when people show their emotions freely. I admire those that can & do whilst simultaneously cringing internally. I also have avoidant attachment though, so meh. That's not good.

    Maybe upbringing too? This is where I mentioned before the struggle of finding a balance between allowing my kids to feel & know it's ok to have emotions & cry, etc, I don't want them to ever feel bad or guilty for having them, yeeeeettttt at some point there's a line. You also have to just deal & toughen up sometimes. I don't want them to be cold, unemotional robots, but I don't want them to be big ninnies that can't handle anything either. Middle ground, no? Be a judgement-free safe place for them to come to, always; tell them you love them infinity times infinity times; yet raise them to know when to knock off the bullshit & be independent & strong.



    Quote Originally Posted by warweasel View Post
    Indeed. It's my personality. The way I'm wired and always have been. It's the reason that I'm the one (since I was quite young) propping the family up when shit goes south. When everyone else is loosing their shit, I'm the one staying the course and keeping the ship from sinking. I'm the only T in a family of Fs... someone's gotta keep the ship from sinking!
    This is why T's fascinate me. T just approaches things so differently from F. And they are so much more rare than F's. My eldest is the only T in our family of 6. It's actually what got me into this stuff, trying to understand the way his brain worked & wanting to support him how he needed to be supported. I hadn't been exposed much to it that I knew of, and honestly until that point I just wrote off a lot of people that were probably T's as jerks, unfortunately. In recent years, since having a better understanding of how T works, it's bridged the gap btn us so much. We understand & work really, really well together now. :)

  3. #36853

    @Kelly Kapowski
    You have had the dog for a week and you only have that many pictures posted to perc?? Disappointed.
    ohTOMICho, warweasel and Kelly Kapowski thanked this post.

  4. #36854

    Actually I think I’ve posted her picture about 3 or 4 times now in various threads I’m trying not to be annoying or obnoxious but OK FAR BE IT FROM ME TO DISAPPOINT
    Attached Images
    ohTOMICho, warweasel, Purrfessor and 3 others thanked this post.

  5. #36855

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly Kapowski View Post
    Hi Eren!

    I'd be ouuuuut. Peace out mofo's there's always another job
    Yep, certainly. I couldn't live with myself to do those things.
    Kelly Kapowski thanked this post.

  6. #36856
    INTJ - The Scientists

    @kelly Kapowski I wanna reply to some of your post, but I'm tired right now. Maybe tomorrow. Awesome puppo! Hug her for me!

    ~~~

    Tired. It's the end of the week and I'm over it x1000. And it's cold in the mornings. That's annoying. I'm over being cold as well. I was cold at work. Which... sometimes that makes me think I'm getting sick, because I'm so rarely cold... and when I am cold, it usually means I have a fever. What it meant last night, however, was that it was fucking freezing in the commons room on the unit.

    I was half tempted to go sit on the female side of the unit, cuz the heat's cranked in there. (Our female staff get cold easily, apparently) So... that area of the building is like stepping into a furnace. Which is nice if you're freezing... but how long before not freezing turns into roasting to death? I'm not a fan of moving back and forth and forth and back all night. I like to have a place and be in the place. The end.

    I actually just want to sit at my desk where I belong. It's just that I also don't want to freeze my ball sack off.

    Ok. So now wait until spring has properly sprung and I'm complaining about sweating my ball sack off because the entire building feels like a sauna. Because that will happen. It happens every year... and it seems like it takes months for maintenance to get it squared away. On my old unit, which had a smallish kitchen area (oven, sink, small fridge, mircowave), I used to use the sprayer on the sink to douse myself... to keep from passing out. I'd be setting there with sweat rolling off me. Not just my head, but sweat running off my arms to the point it was pooling on the desk. It was pretty terrible. I'd just soak my whole noggin... every 2 hrs or so and that helped.

    Seems an extreme, I know... but... when there aren't any fans and the air isn't moving and it's hot as fuck... you do what you have to do to keep from passing out.

    But we're nowhere near that right now. I don't know how the other unit is, but mine is really cold. Except for the female area.

    Did pt this morning. Got needled in my shoulder. It was grumpy. It'd been great since the very first needling and then today it was like... fuck off!... so we needled and... boy were some spots really sore. It was the worst pokes I've had since I've started having needling done. I had some... really annoyed trigger points or whatever they call them... so when needles were shoved in them, they weren't particularly happy about it at all. There was some kicking of the table involved, is what I'm saying.

    I waited it out though. If it's nasty... just stay calm, in a minute or two, it will calm down and you can get poked somewhere else. My therapist asked me if I wanted them out (two of them really hurt) and I said no... I'd ride it out and I did. Then I got hooked up to stim and we tickled my muscles from the inside.

    It's interesting because early on, she told me exactly what was happening with my shoulder... saying when my shoulder got squirrely or sore or creaking, my trapezius muscles would take over for the small, annoyed little rotator cuff muscles... overworking that set and not working the smaller set much at all.

    And now that I know what's going on? If I'm paying attention, I can actually feel when it happens. When the rotator cuff muscles are like nope and the traps are like we got this, yo! At least that makes me feel like they know what they're talking about. I'd have never paid any attention to it, had she not said that.

    When I go over there, I always feel like it'd be lovely if they physical therapied my whole self. Stretched and rubbed and stimed and iced (or heated) and needled... it all sounds quite lovely. The room they put me in today for needling (it weirds some people out, with the needles, so they like to do it in separate rooms.) had a neck stretcher device. Traction, you know... to put your neck up and up and up...

    Do you have any idea how badly I wanted them to stretch my neck right then??? Like... I wanted to ask her to do it, but... it's not really what's needed for me, you know, so I know they wouldn't do it... but oh my... it looked so inviting. Well... the device didn't, but knowing what the device did? Oh yes... I want me some of that.

    Iffin I'm ever a bazillionaire, remind me that I want to have a full time physical therapist to work on me every day. That sounds awesome... I feel like I'd enjoy physical therapy every day. Get up and start my morning like that.

    Yes. I suppose I am weird. But whatever...

    A dude was fired from a Coors facility in Wisconsin... he came back and shot the place up. Killing five people & himself.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...us/4884534002/

    The local forums are an interesting read. You have the pro gun folks... guns aren't the problem! The anti guns people... we need red flag laws! The mental health people... we need to have better mental health stuff! The "snowflake" people... fucking snowflake! Etc, etc, etc...

    I can't speak to what happened other than what's been put out and that's that the guy was 51 yrs old and an employee who was fired earlier and came back with a gun.

    Because of the extremely negative culture where I work... I'm somewhat inclined, in situations like this, to think that probably the guy wasn't a bad guy... but he gets fired and all hell breaks loose. That maybe it wasn't just being fired that was an issue with job... that maybe other things, at the job, were in play before too.

    I mean... I think that there's a high probability that someone will bring a gun to my workplace some day and shoot the place up. Because the place is so anti staff, so negative... so... absolutely frustrating. I mean... most people don't work in a place like I do.

    Just think of 3rd shift at my job, ok?

    1) It's corrections. Any matter of seriously fucked up shit, including death, can happen at any moment.
    2) It's 3rd shift. Working shift work is not good for you, according to medical professionals.
    3) Administration is extremely anti staff. This behavior includes eliminating almost every position that has weekends off, intentional under staffing of the facility, a lot of mandatory overtime due to said under staffing, random attempts to get certain individuals fired, typically with no cause (I've had this happen to me 4 or 5 times, I've lost count, in 21 yrs), rules that have no bearing on safety and security but negatively impact staff, having all facility cameras moved to better watch staff (Staff. Not inmates. Staff.), negative overreactions (new & improved stupid rules!) to incidents that happened in other facilities, etc, etc, etc.
    4) Working (almost) every weekend and (almost) every holiday.
    5) Having leave requests for any day that's not Saturday, turned down. Impacting one's ability to attend events, go on vacation, etc.
    6) Damn... I don't think I can list everything. That's a start though.

    As far as I'm concerned, it's a damn wonder nobody's done it yet.

    I mean... Alex's situation is a good example of something that could set someone off into a violent bend; His wife is recovering from nearly dying. She requires 24 hr care. On a holiday weekend, those that normally cared for her while he was at work, couldn't. He had to call in and take a sick days. (He had Family Medical Leave Act stuff filled out and approved, for the record.) Because he couldn't go to work anyway, they asked her doctor if it was ok for her to travel out of state to visit her parents. The doctor approved. They family (they have two young boys) went out of state to visit her family.

    Owen (1st/2nd shift supervisor, former 3rd shift supervisor) saw Alex's wife's photos of their trip on the Book of Faces and told Sam about it. Sam went and ran to admin about it and they all decided right then and there to draw up a letter of termination for Alex. Because he was abusing sick leave.

    In the course of fighting this (which wasn't much of a fight as personnel was on Alex's side) our director told Alex that his wife, who was recovering from a near death illness (her only chance of survival was a bone marrow transplant), who was bald from all the shit she went through... our director told Alex that his wife doesn't look very sick.

    Alex dealt with all of that... and didn't kill any of them. And honestly, I'm not sure I'd have done that well. I wouldn't have killed them... but I'd have been tempted to beat some asses. I mean, you've got a guy who's got the stress of his wife might die, he's got two boys he's trying to take care of himself, his got to work to keep his insurance and then you get some idiot yahoos trying to make him lose his only income (at the time) and with it, his medical insurance. Over stupid shit. Stupid, stupid, stupid shit.

    I had a little lie about before I took my shower. The pups wanted my attention, so I went and laid on the couch... then crowded around for their love and cuddled up with me. Such cuddle pups, I tell ya!

    I turned on the tv and then accidentally changed the channel and ended up on one of those ghost hunting shows. A thiarna dean trocaire... this shit is dumb as fuck. I don't know the name of this particular program and I didn't/don't care enough to find out... but holy balls... these people.

    And I'm sure there are people out there who believe this nonsense.

    The show was like... you know when a little little kid tries to lie? And how obvious the lie is to everyone but them? That's what this show felt like. It was like... ya gits, we know you're making shit up, seriously now.

    I wish I was a good actor. Not like... Oscar winning good. Just... good enough to fool stupid people good. There's money to be made if you can act at least that much. You can do this ghost hunting nonsense, you can do the psychic nonsense (Looking at you, John Edward...), you can be a televangelist...

    So many ways to fleece dumb folks for money. If you can act. I can't act. Bummer dude.

    How about Magnum, PI to close?

    Kelly Kapowski thanked this post.

  7. #36857

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly Kapowski View Post
    Actually I think I’ve posted her picture about 3 or 4 times now in various threads I’m trying not to be annoying or obnoxious but OK FAR BE IT FROM ME TO DISAPPOINT
    So this is what satisfaction feels like..
    ohTOMICho and Kelly Kapowski thanked this post.

  8. #36858
    INFJ

    My daughter asked me, "So, how old are you going to be on your birthday tomorrow?" When I told her 34, she said, "Really? You look 40." Yes, dear: I'm 34, I look 40, and I feel 110, give or take a few years.
    ohTOMICho, warweasel, mimesis and 3 others thanked this post.

  9. #36859

    Quote Originally Posted by AnneM View Post
    My daughter asked me, "So, how old are you going to be on your birthday tomorrow?" When I told her 34, she said, "Really? You look 40." Yes, dear: I'm 34, I look 40, and I feel 110, give or take a few years.
    110!? I could make you feel at least 41 years younger

    Hiii Anne Marie


    Decline my offer tomorrow and I'll be forced to say "suit yourself"

    34 "rules"...

  10. #36860

    Quote Originally Posted by AnneM View Post
    My daughter asked me, "So, how old are you going to be on your birthday tomorrow?" When I told her 34, she said, "Really? You look 40." Yes, dear: I'm 34, I look 40, and I feel 110, give or take a few years.
    I'm telling you kids don't hold back.
    When I was pregnant with my youngest, my child asked me "If the baby is in your tummy why is your butt so big."
    Gee thanks kid.
    ohTOMICho, warweasel, mimesis and 2 others thanked this post.


     

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