This is a discussion on INFJ Random Thoughts Thread within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; crisis averted...
Great day yesterday! Graduation (boring!), but got the boy started off on his career. Cook out with the fam... even ate outside, the weather held and didn't rain till much later. Sat outside with my dad, his gf and my sis & bil until 10p or so... good times. I was a little high during all that though, cuz my shoulder hurt like a bitch all day yesterday... finally had to take narcotics to calm it down. Shoulder stopped hurting but spent the rest of the night all fluffy headed... which wasn't entirely displeasing, to be perfectly honest.
Today... already ran errands. More time with the fam in a few hours... hanging out for dad's bday this time. Hopefully tomorrow I can rest. By the time today's over, I'll have had plenty of togetherness for one weekend, me thinks.
Hoping for a quiet day today. Maybe some patio perching if the weather holds. Drink some vodka, listen to music, chill. I'm about done with being social... way too much of that this weekend. If it were winter, I'd probably never come up from the cave, just to avoid interacting with other human beings... but since it's summer, I want to be outside as much as humanly possible which opens me up to the possiblity of more socialization.
And I'm tired. I should be sleeping as I didn't do much of that last night. (4 hrs. Maybe?)
It's late... just got back from holiday weekend trip that was very nice, even if cold. Actually had hail fall on my dog and me while out for a walk - and it's the end of May? Strangeness. images.jpg
What a lovely day! Much patio perching... some vodka consumption... grilled bbq chicken (yum)... drove about the city for a bit. Home and chatting with sis, bil & niece for a while. Got a fire going. Had s'mores! The boy came over... my mission for the night/morning was to keep him awake as he starts his job tonight, 3rd shift just like me. He needed to stay up so he could sleep properly before work.
We sat around the fire & bs'd for... a very long time. Storms rolled in, bringing gusty winds (briefly, but we didn't know it would be such), so we put the fire out. Sat on the patio under the roof and watched it storm for... 2.5 hrs. (Lots of lightening and it rained like all hell. Nothing severe, just a good old fashioned... and sustained... thunderstorm.)
At 0410, we decided to call it a night. Going to bed in a bit. (0500 maybe?) Had to eat that left over bbq chicken. (Even better cold, yo!) Now just gonna chill and read some email for a little while... let eye lids get heavy. Then a trip to the Land of Nod will be in order.
Every fucking weekend should be as awesome as this weekend. Seriously good times. (Almost too much socialization... almost.)
I've a few stored up that have been mouldering since my internet went down and I'd nowhere I felt like putting them.
I just saw a thread asking you to put down ten facts about yourself, and thought it might be fun, so I typed in "1." and thought about what I'd say. Then I felt this massive ball of dread in my stomach, because I started thinking about how the hell it's possible to condense one person's life into ten little sentences. (That thought probably stemmed from pre-exam anxiety).
If alcohol really does cause people to tell truths, not talk made-up, confused babble, then I'm an exceptionally okay person to be around. i went to a party for the first time in about three? Two? years the other week, and walked out having been told I'm super nice, funny, cute etc. One of the people I'm really close with but talk with only scantily told me she'd "happily marry" me, and that I was some sort of inspiration or something to her, which was confusing as hell seeing as I was convinced she really disliked me.
If the simplest explanation is usually the right one, I guess it's just misfortunate for me that the simplest explanation for all that is ME is that I'm gay, which I've no problem with but, unfortunately, is not true (unfortunately because then I'd probably make sense as a human being)
The last thought I feel like sharing is that I'm worried about how I'm so often stuck in this ball of dreaming where imagination and reality kind of mingle and become hard to differentiate between. It's like I'm watching life from underwater, or I'm behind some veil of ever-present, perpetually-moving thoughts and judgements and daydreams. What worries me is that this THING takes up 90% of my conscious mind, so that I'm always exhausted and never fully focus on the present. This then makes me worry that I am drifting, dreaming and slowly slowly slipping into a mediocre life, which is my one true fear, that I'll slip into some cesspit of maturity and routine and stubborness and boredom, otherwise known as Adulthood.
And now, having given myself a headache and anxiety and having let crappy thoughts pervade my mind recently, I'm going to bed and hoping morning is somehow better x
Back to work tonight. Sad to leave the weekend behind. Nice way to begin the start of summer. Now if the rest of the summer was as much fun this last weekend? All will be fantastic. There was almost too much socializing. Almost. But it ended with just me and the boy for the last 4 hrs or so. Sitting for the last 2.5 and watching it storm, whilst chatting and planning.
The Ireland/Scotland trip is marked for 2015. Now that we have that much narrowed down, I can start planning all the contingencies. We've decided on a two week trip... so we'll be spending some time. I would've liked to go early next year, but... no way the boy will be able to have afford to go by then. Monetarily or vacation time wise. But we've solidly planned for 2015... so it's time to put money away & start stock piling vacation time. (Actually... I have a shit load of vacation time, even for as much as I use... I still have about 100 hrs right now.)
Apparently, according to the weather dudes on tv, it rained 3" during that storm in the wee morning hours. I'm not surprised. We sat there and watched it all. It poured, nonstop, for... close to two hours. Might storm tonight... the masses are concerned about flash flooding. Lots of standing water all about from this morning.
The lightening last night was pretty awesome and nonstop. The sky was constantly flashing. Mostly cloud to cloud lightening, from what we could tell. Very few strikes coming to the ground. It was so dark in the north sometimes, that we were somewhat concerned... but we were also watching radar on the phones and the weather alert radio was on as well... nothing.
Tornado sirens apparently sounded north and east of us (an hour drive away each direction), but nothing came of that either.
And I slept wonderfully when I went to bed. Dreamt of hanging out in cabins (I smelled of camp smoke, so that's probably why) and all sorts of pleasant things. It was nice... and I think I'm going to take a nap about now... catch a few more zzzzzs before work.
I wonder if I should just stay out of the city? The more I visit it the more I pine when I’m away. I’m crazy about the warring colors and patterns and the way the sun comes down in beams between the spaces.
Be still, my heart.
Tired. Shouldn't have stayed up so late this morning. Especially since I wasn't doing anything but fucking around, anyway.
Watched lectures and did quiz 5 last night. Last quiz and I missed a question. Lowered my average from 96% to 92%. Makes me quite unhappy. Just have the final left. I have at least two more lectures to watch... and some reading to do. Not sure when the final is going to be... I'll just wait patiently. I better ace that final.
Had breakfast with the boy & RN this morning. The boy texted me at 0605, immediately after his shift... wanted to talk shop, so we thought breakfast would be a good idea. RN texted me at 0625 asking if I was interested in doing breakfast as she was going in to work later due to a procedure that had been schedule early having been cancelled. Breakfast was good, but a little... awkward? They'd not met before, but the boy knows who she is... and what the relationship is. He's not opposed to such things, of course, he's just... it's a different kind of relationship, eh? He can't get a girlfriend (as of yet) so it's hard for him to understand how I have a non girlfriend that I have sex with, lol. (He's getting neither, poor lad.) I mean... he knows her of why and my end of why... but, well... it's just different.
So. Maybe awkward wasn't really the right word. I think he was... curious & absorbing everything. (not that we discussed everything there, as we didn't. But I have discussed with him previously.)
After breakfast, on the drive home, stopped at a deer vs. auto mva... car parts strewn all over the two northbound lanes. Dead deer also in the midst of one of the lanes... had to slow from 70 mph to 5 mph to navigate all the pieces parts (some quite large) in the road. Stopped as well to make sure the driver was ok... he assured me (x2) that he was, so... off I went. Quite glad that bambi decided to run out in front of that guy and not in front of me...
My supervisor Jake is interested in having my nephew rent his basement. I suppose after the divorce, he's needing someone to help him pay for his house. He said he thought of my nephew cuz the kid could afford the place (not that he's charging a lot, because he's not), wouldn't bring drugs into his house, wouldn't steal his stuff and could be trusted around his three little girls. I told my nephew about what Jake was offering and told him how to get a hold of him. I'll let them sort it out for themselves. I'm not sure if my nephew is interested or not, but it'd be a cheap (less than half of what most decent apartments go for locally) way to get out of the parental home, which at nearly 20... he desperately wants to do.
It'd be sorta weird having my nephew live with one of my supervisors, though.
Also have narrowed travel plans to Ireland/Scotland to the first two weeks of May, 2015. (tenatively) More plans are in the works, of course, but we can't narrow down a more specific date for a while yet. But that's the target time period.
And now? I must nap, I think!
Walking out of the building this morning with Rick & Malachi... it's sprinkling. We get in the middle of the parking lot and a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky followed by a healthy clap of thunder. Rick goes bolting off (right quickly, I might add) away from me to my left, to join Mal, all the while screeching "Get away from War! Get away from War!"
Me: "God is not going to strike me down."
He: "How do you know?"
Me: "Because there is no God, you idiot."
He: "Oh... now, you've gone and done it." *While flailing dramatically, of course* "Run, Mal, Run!"
Malachi, of course, is quite amused by the whole situation. Probably cuz Rick was in fine form all night long. (He's a bit of a goof ball.) Made the end of the work day just a little bit better.