See some decided to fill in the questionaire. Good for you. It had no purpose when I did it... other than killing a few minutes time before I went to work. Gave my brain something to do with itself. Which is always good... when it's left to it's own devices, it gets me into all manner of trouble.
Convos last night/today:
Whilst listening to Brett (2nd shift lead supervisor) & Kelly (3rd shift supervisor) talk about some new development in the way we "discipline" our inmates... after learning we, essentially, won't be discipling them...
Me: Please tell me this is a hypothetical conversation started due to one of you reading somewhere about a jail with no discipline policy and that you are not actually talking about this facility. Please... tell me that.
He: Well. If you're talking about the discipline policy... that's not hypothetical.
Me: Oh, for fuck's sake.
She: They just decided this without any imput from anybody...
Me: Of course they did...
("They" being the twin pillars of intelligence that constitutues our administration.)
Upon getting on my unit and discovering that a 14 yr old male inmate is back. Again. For the 3rd time in 2 months.
Me: The fuck, dude?
He: I'm a drug addict...
Me: Well... you need a different fucking hobby, dude. Seriously.
He: I know. I fucked up, man. I fucked up. I'm an idiot.
Me: You're not a stupid kid, why you keep doing this shit, man?
He: I dunno. But I need to stop.
Me: For real, dude. This... you've been here three fucking times just this summer...
He: I know... May, July and now August.
Me: The summer of your 14th year and you spend it all sitting in jail...
He: I know...
Me: You know this time, you're never gonna get it back. It's gone.
He: I know.
Me: This ain't no place for all y'all to be. You should be out having fun, not sitting in here.
He: I'm wasting my life.
He: I'm gonna try harder this time. Not to come back.
Me: Just... stop, man. Stop. Seriously.
I... sometimes these kids just kill me. He kept saying I know... but he don't know shit. What does he know? He's 14... he don't know shit about shit. And he's a nice kid, too. He keeps this up and he'll end up fucking himself but good.
As I was doing my last check of the night and Rich (1st shift) walks into relieve me...
He: Hey Jackie!
Me: ... *gives Rich a serious WTF? look*
He: Oh, it's you. Hey War!
Me: ... *Walks away shaking head*
He: You mad? (After following me on the female pod)
Me: No... but, Jesus Christ, Rich...
Me: Seriously? *whilst rubbing my hand up and down a bare forearm*
He: Well, I didn't see that... just your hair. You do your hair the same.
As soon as I leave the unit and walk into the vestibule, I get this from Rick who's in control...
He: Hey, Jackie!
Me: Oh, fuck off.
This carries on for the last 5 minutes I'm in the facility. Everyone is calling me "Jackie".
(The reason this amsues everybody so is that Jackie is a black female... and I'm neither of those things. By a long shot. Rich, is in his early 60s... and, apparently... blind.)
On walking back to get exsanguinated at the doc's office... chatting up a nurse:
She: You weren't napping today, just sitting their smirking. What's up with that?
Me: I was amusing myself with mirror neuron system to cause the entire lobby to pandiculate. Repeatedly.
Me: I do it all the time at work. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get a whole room going.
She: You're an evil man.
Me: Why, thank you. *smirks wickedly*
And I'd love to continue verbally vomiting... but it's past time my bed time and the drugs are kicking in. Must head off to the Land of Nod... to dream of...