This is a discussion on INFJ Random Thoughts Thread within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; @ Crossover : Happy New Year! @ Jebediah : the Bray timelapse is awesome. Your friend's screensaver is just wrong. ...
It was my third night on solo operations when Death Machine (one of the other hunters, nice lad) radios in to tell me he just chased something off some land half a mile from my location. "I thought I had him but he just seemed to disappear. I think he's heading right your way, Jeb." I got ready.
An hour goes by. Nothing. Two hours. Nothing. The third hour rolled in when it happened. I suddenly became aware of a terrible, terrible odour coming from right behind me. Fuck, I think, he got behind me and I didn't even hear it. I turn around to acknowledge his presence, I've already dropped my gun because I don't want him to see it, get spooked, and then rip my limbs from my body. Sasquatch are just like Gorillas, stay low and avoid eye contact and they'll leave you alone. Instead of the Sasquatch I was expecting I'm facing what can only be described as an 8 foot tall lettuce man. The eyes scare me. This heap of vegetables has eyes.
I began to cough from the strong smell, it just gets worse and worse. I hear a noise that sounds like wind blowing through leaves and when I look up again I realise it's coming from this Thing. This Swamp Thing is laughing at me. I watch in horror as he reaches down towards his genital regions and start to rub himself. Oh shit, I realise, it's getting itself ready. He wants to do the nasty with me. I slowly reach for the gun with every intention to use it on myself, so that I am not of this world when the creature has it's fun with me. My fingers are touching the butt when it takes a hold of me, the gun slips away from my grip. It has me in a headlock when it smothers my face with the hand it used to play with itself. My eyes water and I black out...
Death Machine would find me unconscious twelve hours later but I would not wake up for another two days. "It left a note," Death Machine tells me. He hands me a small piece of paper and leaves the room. I stare at the paper for what seems like hours before finally opening it. There upon the page, in a very neat hand is the following:
"Made you smell my balls. LOL!"
Fuck you, Swamp Thing. Fuck you.
I'm just gonna leave this here... *drops link and flees*
Rather nervous about tomorrow, since I have an endoscopy. I hope nothing serious. So any spare hugs or prayers would be most appreciated.
@Jebediah : and that, my friend, is why you shouldn't drink skunky beer. The smell attracts them. It's like an aphrodisiac to swamp creatures. I'm surprised nothing's climbed out of the Irish bogs to stalk you.