Life of a common INFJ

Since very little, I can say that I've been just a young boy caught up being in his fantasy world. To some degree when I was young, it was like as if my fantasy world and the real world were very well intertwined.

There were times where my parents fought cause of me and I didn't feel much when it first started but as it got on longer, I could feel a lot of shame and guilt as if it is my presence or existence perhaps that caused it and I just wanted to run away.

As a teenager, I was pretty clueless about life and just rebellious. Then one guy came up to me, sorta a mentor or something, and he really kinda taught me self-denial and enforced it into myself. It was a Christian thing and with my determination, which made me overly serious and introverted, I held back, anything that was "sinful"

In school, I was somewhat a novelist, penning down ideas far beyond my age and far too controversial for school.

Many years later, I've let go of that Christian God sin thing but the self-denial never left. From there it became self-denial to denying-self-for-others. I become naturally more caring towards people who need the time and affection. My literature went from extreme ideas to great film scripts.

Sadly, still, no one can be really too close enough for me to share my fantasy with, except well you guys I guess, cause you all can relate to what I'm saying to some degree.

I'm studying for the media industry and I'm often forced to be extroverted but I keep back to myself whenever I can. This somehow helped improve my PR and communicative skills.

I was good at counselling some people, especially girls with their problems cause of my (F) trait. I was also fiercely competitive and practical in my media line, getting me scholarships for my current degree program.

Unlike most, my life is headed in a great direction, but what any other group can easily appreciate a new car and a newly bought condominium, my other life still lacks behind. I feel unfulfilled internally cause I never found the right one... and often I am too private, even with my best friend of almost nine years.

As I said, we can understand people, but we feel misunderstood all the time...

Well, if it was my perfect INFJ...

Sometimes melancholic, seemingly-lonely, quiet, librarian-type, but damned cute, and with a cheeky side.

She would play Scrabble with me, while she was curled up on the sofa, with a hot-chocolate, and with her dressing-gown and slippers on.

I WOULD BE IN HEAVEN.

-I was born the oldest child of two, but treated as the younget
-I disappeared into my own little world while abuse was going on to me/around me
-I developed strong attachments to people I knew (especially friends)
-I had a small group of friends usually, which I preferred
-In college, after my father died and I was more free, I preferred deep, very emotional, relationships
-I can't be in a room with fighting or disharmony -- it gives me a panic attack
-I have lots of worries due to anxiety disorders, which leads me to focus on past and future and try to prepare myself for potentially bad situations
-I obsess over archetypes (especially in fairy tales) and try to apply them to my own life
-I enjoy social events that are very supportive and friendly and everyone tries to get along and help each other out
-I want to appear very good at things so other people will appreciate me
-Making people happy is very important to me and I'm very generous
-As for playing, I really loved drawing and painting and still do it all the time
-Always wanted close friends and eventually, with age, wanted a romantic relationship
-Really appreciate the people in my lives and try to help them and be good to them
-Reading almost all the time, a variety of books
-Disliking most parties (they overwhelm me), but enjoy smaller socializations

Let's hope 3rd times a charm (keep losing the post!)

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Originally Posted by unico

-As for playing, I really loved drawing and painting and still do it all the time

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If you have any of your artwork you'd be willing to share here, I'd really enjoy seeing it. Certainly coming from your background you have a lot to express and capture. Feel free to post it and even share it in a vlog on this thread
@ Epimer Sounds like a pretty typical INFJ atmosphere/apparel, and activity to me! Today after some yardwork and a shower, my INTP and I sat nice and cozy-like on our huge lovesac with our personal laptops and had our legs touching, no talking, just enjoying being near each other...I am/was sporting my BettyBoop nightwear and red slippers. I LOVE SATURDAYS! Good luck to each of you INFJs/INTPs in finding someone you can share your common INFJ life with!!

Now for the original thread

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What is on your mind when you imagine a common INFJ with its stereotypes, problems, behaviour, preferences ect during his or her life - from early childhood to death.
(kind of toys and games INFJ child prefers, school problems, friends, first love, job, soulmate, children, hobby, pets, retirement, whatever... post your views :)
Thanks :)

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@ Shaddie
She likes:
* glass figurines (i.e. unicorns, fairies, fantasy creatures)
* make-believe games where she is the 'servant' and her sisters are the queen and princess and she toils and labors quietly while the royal family fights and argues and never notices her (why would I LIKE that? I WAS the one to make up the story afterall...I could have changed the plot since I was the instigator and the oldest afterall....LOL)
* Any music that sounds other-worldly, stories about kingdoms in the sky, books/or her own made-up stories that have friendships between the creatures inside nature (i.e. trees that can speak to your mind and vice versa, C.S. Lewis books etc.)
* She cries when being dropped off to a youth church activity because she feels so ugly that day, or is feeling sick and increasingly self-conscious but goes to please her mom after her mom builds her up and encourages her to think of others to forget herself
* Feels her younger sister is her best friend all her life, but decides to find an out-side the family bestfriend when sister tells her she wants to play with her 'bestfriend'
* Has one bestfriend in 6th grade who ignores her in 7th grade, makes a new best friend in 7th grade who lies to her and finds a different locker partner without telling her, and finally finds a new bestfriend in 9th grade whom she is loyal to through the years of college and getting married until she realizes how one-sided the friendship has always been and sees that maybe her mom was right when she said, "You were always a different person when you hung out with her," (Because she found she could be social and bubbly and laugh and have less inhibitions with this friend and escape her crowded, loud house when visiting her 'bestfriend's' big fancy, quiet house
* dreams of love since 12 years old, but has her first 'love' at 16 but finds she's played the fool, first kiss at 17 but knows she can't really be her true self with him, has her first serious boyfriend at 18 in college who she is faithful to for 6 months but then they lose touch when he moves, and immediately finds a new boyfriend who she only starts dating because he is soosoo persistent in romancing her and never takes no for an answer and later finds all the good in him but knows they aren't meant to be :sad:
* changes college majors 5 times because she believes she can enjoy any of them but worries she won't be happy if it becomes a career
* starts noticing a lot of her inner-dream-world is slowly growing smaller and smaller and the 'shoulds' of 'real-life' are becoming more and more her pressures of life
* seems to know the 'time' is coming when she'll meet 'that someone' and within a MONTH she is right (but doesn't know it yet)
* at 21 marries the sweetest, smartest, cutest INTP (a type she never knew she needed/loved/wanted!)
* after a long road, realizes self-healing will return as she enjoys a balance with the real-world and a return to some of her childhood dreams.

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INFJ girl was born to poor parents as the youngest child. She didn't need many toys because she was able to play with everything she found. It didn't matter what it was in real, she saw it just like it fitted the most to the made-up world she was living in. There were many stories with villains and the good ones, but the good always won, because it made her to feel safe. Although, she had friends, she didn't prefer to spend among them whole day, but she liked to be with one close friend. Most of her buddies were boys. Probably because of their wildness, adventures and silence in speaking. In school she was really smart and conscientious, easy going with schoolmates, respectful towards teachers. She was good in writing and painting. It was her way to express herself, but she never felt it was that she wanted to communicate to the world. She always used to have an inner talk with someone, possibly any stranger she already met. Each time that person was great listener and was asking new question all the time. Maybe she looked like an outsider, but she didn't care much about it. As she was always different from the others, she fell in love with someone similar. However, it didn't end up in relationship, it was enough for her, that feeling of love, she couldn't be fancy-free. The next one lasted a couple years, he had all she had ever wanted (ENFP probably :D), however it wasn't perfect. Fortunately, she knew, that it will never be perfect and she married him. With university degree in psychology she worked as therapist in hospital. She loved sundays that she spent with her family or alone in cottage in forest. With endless patience she was watching all wild creatures crossing her place. It amazed her every time she found out something new about wildlife and flora. She saw things that no one saw. And as granny she passed away because of cancer. Maybe it isn't "pure INFJ", maybe it is rather my story, but I would be pleased if you share your stories like this one :)

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O_O A lot of similarities there...now I kinda want to go to the doctor and get my headaches checked out again...I had a lot of imaginary friends growing up and I made all of my Barbie dollhouses since I never got one from the store. Still too poor for paint, but I like to draw and sing and frolic!

I wonder/imagine that maybe there are other INFJs out there stuck doing the school musical--which they Used to love--because they cannot quit without being dragged down the hallway by a biology teacher and pressured to continue because they're "so good at it".

Or, you know...something to that effect. I'm pretty sure accommodation is a common trait/problem with a lot of us : /