[INFP] Feeling out of place?

Feeling out of place?

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This is a discussion on Feeling out of place? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; So, school is starting soon (Tomorrow actually, depending on how the hurricane goes. They still haven't canceled, I doubt they ...

  1. #1

    Feeling out of place?

    So, school is starting soon (Tomorrow actually, depending on how the hurricane goes. They still haven't canceled, I doubt they will.) But, anyway. I am absolutley dreading it. I can't help but feel its a smack in the face. I feel better when I'm talking to a friend, I feel much less vulnurable. I feel incredibly insecure, because nearly everyone at my school is snobby and rich, and attractive. I am none of those things, I don't consider myself attractive. I feel as if I'm alwasy being looked at and judged. I dislike too many people at my school.

    I have never told anyone that, especially my closest friends. I feel like I'm complaining about nothing, which is why I hate venting.

    Anyway, when I'm at school, it feels as if my whole life revolves around it. The walls feel constricting. I feel so free once I'm outside. I often forget I have a home. I forget that I have somewhere to return to. I sure hope all of this makes sense. I just feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I am dreading waking up in the morning every. single. day. And doing the exact same thing. It's exhausting, it makes me feel so lonely. As soon as I get home I'm alone until my dad comes home from work, which is about 3 hours later. It's even more lonely because it's just my dad and I. I don't get to see my sister everyday anymore..

    I try to distract myself by reading and watching tv, drawing, writing, etc. Literally anything.

    Does anyone have any suggestions or tips? I have been downloading and searching for happy music that I can listen to as soon as I get a chance. I am extremely sensitive to music, if it even sounds remotley sad it, it will put me in this depressed-like trance. I try to listen to nothing but happy music.

    Any suggestions are welcome, I am up for anything. Sorry for the long paragraph, and thank you in advance to anyone who takes time to read it and respond.

    I promise I'm not always like this, I never even like talking about my problems because I feel self-centered. I just feel like a mess.



  2. #2

    Honestly I'm also really fed up with school but next year will be the last one so I'm stopping to worry about it, especially because this year our school system/method changed a bit so basically I get a passing grade at every single subject without barely studying (or not doing so at all).

    Well, there isn't much I can do to help but saying it'll be over eventually. When it is and you have to choose your career, I'd say to just do what makes you alive (if that's not cheesy enough for you). I have a passion for filmmaking, so that's what I'll try to pursue after I'm done with high school even if people tell me to go for a job that guarantees a more stable life. I'm aware I'll likely have financial problems, but I'd take that while spending time on what is meaningful for me over spending more long and dreadful years studying what I don't give a shit about, to then spend most of my long and dreadful years alive doing what I don't give a shit about, and then spend the last long and dreadful years of my life regretting for choosing something I don't give a shit about.

    I don't think I gave you much help for the present, but to avoid being in the same situation in the future for me that is the best solution, otherwise you'll keep stuck in a meaningless routine that I'm sure us INFPs just aren't fond of. And sorry but this was also mostly me just venting about what particularly grinds my gears. I'm not good at giving advice (at all) but hey, I hope this is at least a bit helpful.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by KasKas19 View Post
    I feel incredibly insecure, because nearly everyone at my school is snobby and rich, and attractive. I am none of those things, I don't consider myself attractive. I feel as if I'm alwasy being looked at and judged. I dislike too many people at my school.

    I try to distract myself by reading and watching tv, drawing, writing, etc. Literally anything.
    INFPs are smarter and more intelligent people who are hardly going to be appreciated by society -- unless, that is, they don't don a depersonalizing mask and pretend they aren't who they are.

    Those activities shouldn't be distractions, but hinges integral to your life.
    I mean, the successful INFP builds his/her own world. After that, they learn to adapt to the outer world, and pick what is there that isn't too out of tune with their own soul (values, feelings, ideas, ...).
    Their world is their home. The outer world is a place where they must learn to live not in fear, but, contrary, to adapt well, but this comes after building their own identity, and while safeguarding it.

    Does anyone have any suggestions or tips? I have been downloading and searching for happy music that I can listen to as soon as I get a chance. I am extremely sensitive to music, if it even sounds remotley sad it, it will put me in this depressed-like trance. I try to listen to nothing but happy music.
    There are two outcomes for people who run away from their soul -- a soul which is bound to have a sizable sad part, if it's thoughtful and/or sensitive --: they become neurotic (or worse), or else they become soulless and turn into masks.
    Can't see a reason why you would be so attracted to either, sincerely.

    Be it grief anxiety or fear, it won't disappear by pretending it's not there. Unless the whole soul is quarantined, and one turns into a puppet. It works for many, still I am not going to endorse it as a solution because it entails becoming a half, or maybe one third, or maybe one fourth, of one has the potential to be.

    I promise I'm not always like this, I never even like talking about my problems because I feel self-centered. I just feel like a mess.
    Goodness, what about you stop apologizing for being alive?

    Society pressures us into doing so, but an identity is something with contours and a structure, that it, all the wherewithal to keep a form against pressure.

    All the holydamned humans, and non-human animals alive are self-centered.
    Also, all they care is their own problems, and desires, what else?
    Pretending it be not so is part of their desires and needs in fact.


    You shouldn't let the fact that a cultural imperative in our time is to claim not to be so deceive you. I mean, fake it if you will, but don't believe it.
    That's what smart people do with cultural imperatives/moral fashions.
    That's costumes to wear, at best, not things to believe.
    KasKas19 and nonsuch thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by KasKas19 View Post
    So, school is starting soon (Tomorrow actually, depending on how the hurricane goes. They still haven't canceled, I doubt they will.)
    Out of curiosity, how did your first few days go?

  5. #5

    I know how you feel. High school is shitty lol. It sounds like you might have to work through your anxiety and negative thinking processes. And sometimes you have to rely on finding other ways to distract yourself from it. The environment is toxic unfortunately. I think making your evenings at home something to look forward to would also help. It helped me. Music, reading, enjoying your favourite class, having those few friends you like or even chilling at the library are ways to go about it. But that being said I think you might want to work on your anxiety issues and self-esteem. It's very difficult but you have to control where your thoughts go. Only want to face those issues head on.
    KasKas19 thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Chickin_Peck View Post
    Out of curiosity, how did your first few days go?
    We ended up not having school because we were hit with a hurricane. It starts tomorrow now. We had a whole week out because everything was flooded.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by KasKas19 View Post
    We ended up not having school because we were hit with a hurricane. It starts tomorrow now. We had a whole week out because everything was flooded.
    Oh cool. Well I hope you manage to get along well on your first day.

  8. #8
    INFP


    Have you heard Sheila Take a Bow by The Smiths? I'm in my 30's now but I remember when I was a kid that song made me so so happy... "Throw your homework onto the fire, go out and find the one who you love and who loves you" I loved that lyric.

  9. #9
    INFP

    @KasKas19

    That's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    You should know, you're right. The people in your school are all judging you. But, not just you. They're judging everyone. That's how they process information. Between good and bad. Right and wrong. They don't have the ability to see so much perspective like you. It's sad really. It's how they have to view the world, because they lack another lens. But, you need to accept it. That's who they are. It's probably who their parents are. It's probably how they'll raise their children to be.

    But, you're special. You see the world in its broader perspective. Now, the difficulty is this: you'll never convince them you're right. They'll look at you like you speak a foreign language. But, you know... deep down... you're right.

    Here's the hard part. You have to learn to ignore their game. It's not the right way to play anyways, is it? Be proud of yourself. Who cares what these people think. You're being judged by people who know less than you. That see less than you. That can't even begin to understand your perspective.

    Once you do these things, you'll find people like you. You'll attract them like a magnet. And then... you'll find a group you fit in with.

    Don't worry about these nonsensical people. They have their purpose. You have yours :)

    I promise you, with all of my heart, this is right.
    bigstupidgrin, nonsuch and KasKas19 thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by dlb View Post
    @KasKas19

    That's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    You should know, you're right. The people in your school are all judging you. But, not just you. They're judging everyone. That's how they process information. Between good and bad. Right and wrong. They don't have the ability to see so much perspective like you. It's sad really. It's how they have to view the world, because they lack another lens. But, you need to accept it. That's who they are. It's probably who their parents are. It's probably how they'll raise their children to be.

    But, you're special. You see the world in its broader perspective. Now, the difficulty is this: you'll never convince them you're right. They'll look at you like you speak a foreign language. But, you know... deep down... you're right.

    Here's the hard part. You have to learn to ignore their game. It's not the right way to play anyways, is it? Be proud of yourself. Who cares what these people think. You're being judged by people who know less than you. That see less than you. That can't even begin to understand your perspective.

    Once you do these things, you'll find people like you. You'll attract them like a magnet. And then... you'll find a group you fit in with.

    Don't worry about these nonsensical people. They have their purpose. You have yours :)

    I promise you, with all of my heart, this is right.
    Thank you so so much! I'vve nevr thought of it that way :)

    This will definitley help my perspective on things now :)
    dlb thanked this post.


     
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