[INFP] Trying to to figure out whether another INFP likes me

Trying to to figure out whether another INFP likes me

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This is a discussion on Trying to to figure out whether another INFP likes me within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hey everyone! Confused INFP male here, looking for advice. I am in college and taken quite a liking to a ...

  1. #1

    Trying to to figure out whether another INFP likes me

    Hey everyone! Confused INFP male here, looking for advice. I am in college and taken quite a liking to a girl in one of my classes. We walk and talk a lot after class, which honestly brightens my day every time and she is a verified INFP, which is an added plus. She is so genuinely funny, kind, smart and quarky, in the absolute best way possible. So, it is for these reasons that my interest in her is pure. Recently, we were put into a group project together, much to my joy and dismay. Then, yesterday, we met up with our group-mate and worked on the project for roughly an hour, after which our other group-mate left. I half expected the girl to leave as well, but she lingered with me in the library. We sat and talked with each other consistently for three hours, sharing stories, jokes, and other personal things. It was absolutely wonderful.

    After the three hours, she had to go home so she could eat. I went to walk her part of the way home but, suggested we take a slight detour on the way, to my favorite spot on campus, especially at night. She agreed and we went onward into the dark. We got to the beautiful spot and just stared at it for a while, in admiration. It was drizzling outside, so I pulled out my umbrella for us. As we stood huddled under it, still admiring, she asked me if I had ever seen "Singing in the Rain". To which I said no. We stayed a few moments longer and then parted ways back into the night.

    When I got home, I was curious why she thought of that movie in that moment, so I watched it today in search of some answer. Classic romantic musical from my observations, but there was one scene that stood out to me. In this scene, the two main characters are standing under an umbrella in the rain, talking and laughing with each other. A moment passes and then they kiss and are on their separate ways. Now, I realize this could easily be because of my vivid and wild imagination but, does this mean something? We have been friendly to each other recently and she sat with more for hours just talking. Is this something that seems like I can/should pursue, or is it just the classic INFP trope of looking for meaning in something even if it is not there?
    AshOrLey thanked this post.

  2. #2

    Oh, she's slick! That sounds exactly like something I would say if I were hinting at something.. You should've asked her why she mentioned it. :)

    Yes, INFPs can spend a lot of time talking to others, without any romantic drive behind it. However, three hours, one-on-one, and not being in a rush to get home is something that occurs each time I have interest in someone. If I can extend that time, I will.

    It sounds like she's interested in you, and you should pursue it. :)

  3. #3

    It defiantly sounds like she's interested.

    Although, I'll be honest, I have a habit of leading women on, by accident. I'm overly friendly, and it's often taken as a sign of interest. But, 3hrs is significant. Most likely she's interested.

    It never hurts to ask :)

    EDIT: After reading other people's posts; I'm reminded how important patience is. That's not my strength. Do what they say :) I take rejection very well, so it's not as hard for me.
    Last edited by dlb; 10-05-2017 at 05:29 PM.
    AshOrLey thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Here's the thing, yea you could be putting meaning in a bunch of tings, but she's also an INFP so she could be doing the same thing, essentially you could be a fish in water here and be on to something like you think you are. Yea go for it man.
    Kenkao, OrangeAppled and AshOrLey thanked this post.

  5. #5

    I loooove Singin' in the rain.
    I've actually been in your story. There was an INTJ many years ago (university years) who I had no idea he was into me. We had a lot of fun together, profound conversations, laughing, the whole thing. I felt super comfortable in his presence, and I felt like he was such a fantastic person/friend and I couldn't get enough of him. One day we were caught up in the rain and we had a laugh, and when I got home I sent him a youtube video of my favourite part of Singin' in the rain. He responded something cute and I didn't think anything of it. My intention was just... friendly. I never ever liked him romantically. Soon after, he asked me out and I was shocked. I had to reject him, ofc, and he didn't speak to me for five years after that.
    So.. from the text you've written, there is absolutely nothing that says she has any sort of feelings.
    Don't read too much into it, not even into the movie thing.
    I would suggest that you don't imagine things, and stick to the facts of the situation. Keep hanging out with her if you're into her, and give it time.
    You are looking for meaning in something that doesn't really exist. And there is only one way to find out if she likes you: spend time with her and gather more data/facts. Also pay attention to third parties, in case she tells someone that she likes you or not. Third parties often have information because they can end up being a confidante.
    If the INTJ had asked our mutual friend about whether I had feelings for him or not, he would've saved himself a ton of heartache. My friend knew I only saw him as a friend and nothing more. He was reading too much into our study time together and our going out for coffee and me being an A+ listener. People feel good around INFPs because we are great listeners, so the other person feels important and they project things that don't exist.
    Give it time :)
    attic and OrangeAppled thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    Think about it as though you had been a woman, would you suspect her to be infatuated with you then? or just looking for new friends in college? I feel like people on these forums often read a bit too much into things just because it is a man and a woman involved. She does seem interested, but it could be friendly interest, wanting to be friends. The singing in the rain-thing does sound like it could be some kind of hint, but it could also just be a random observation she made. We can't tell you if she likes you here, you'll have to let her tell you if so :) Do you like her? Wish you all luck!


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