Another thought-provoking question!
I've never really found death to be that intriguing. I know there are some that find it to be a mystifying, even comforting topic. I wish I was like that. Mentally it's one of those topics I tend to avoid, kind of like in a pin-ball machine...the ball could go down that hole of thought, but I divert it at the last minute. Despite that, it's one of those topics my brain seems to land on more frequently than I'd like, probably because it provokes fear for me, and my brain seems to love to freaking me out -__-
Lately, I've been feeling a lot of distress when thinking of the passing of my loved ones. For me, I fear that much, much more than I fear my own death.
This April, I had to put my dog down, and it was one of the most horrible feelings I've ever felt. I would walk into my room and expect her to be there, sleeping. I would be so aware that the sounds of her paws walking around the house were missing. She really helped me cope with all the emotional changes I had been going through, like an endless pile of love there for me whenever I needed it. It was so easy to make her happy, despite how old she was getting. It's still difficult not having her around, I miss her everyday. Grieving seems to be an art form that some people are better at than others. I can spiritually rationalize someone's death, but it takes a long time to accept the truth, that their presence is absent from my life, and will always be.
So, I picked #1. The only pain I feel when pondering my death is how it would affect my family and close friends. Even writing this, I am getting emotional thinking about it! I know they'd get better after all the distress and shock was over with. But I think the thing that is hardest about it is the separation: I wouldn't be there with them anymore, we wouldn't be able to share any more time together. It's more of a selfish reason. "Tu me manques"; you are missing from me.
I'm not a planner, so I don't think I'd really care to have anything specific at my funeral. I'd honestly rather not have a funeral. I'd rather leave it up to my loved ones to figure that out, since it's more for them than it is for me. I would prefer to be buried in a forest or a natural setting, so that I could contribute to the growth of something else, even in death.