[INFP] Infatuation <3 <3

Infatuation <3 <3

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This is a discussion on Infatuation <3 <3 within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I thought that I would never again experience the maddening, sickening infatuation for somebody that I did as a growing ...

  1. #1

    Infatuation <3 <3

    I thought that I would never again experience the maddening, sickening infatuation for somebody that I did as a growing teenager. But then I randomly got it as an adult like a dynamite explosion in my stomach! After I was coming out of a long relationship, I became infatuated with someone after one brief meeting, and I could hardly eat for a week... It was fantastic!

    My last couple of crushes haven't been so intense that I stop eating, but they make me feel very out of control with that person. They come as waves of rapturous emotion! I'm in love with the feeling of "being in love." It's not actually love, of course. (I assume.)

    I got to dance bachata with a very, very attractive man the other day. It was a really good time, and I can't stop thinking about how amazing he is! I know we can't be in a relationship because we do not have the same goals in life, and we will probably never see each other again, but oh the longing! If I could just dance with him again!! I don't even care that he likes Donald Trump! ()

    When I get a crush, I tend to milk it for all it's worth, no matter how illogical it is. It's a chance for my emotions to be alive, and I can benefit from those stimulating endorphins in my daily life.

    -------

    So.... Do you like being infatuated with people? Do we as INFPs have some similarities in the way we experience it?

    Another thought is that for me to be in a good relationship with someone, I don't think I should be truly infatuated with them. I act so out of line with my morality and good sense, and it ruins everything. Maybe when I'm 30, these reckless feelings will stop and I'll be able to think clearly! But I don't want the feelings to stop; I just want it to be right.
    mushr00m, Gossip Goat, justjay and 10 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Most definitely I like being infatuated with people. It's like being on a rollercoaster: wild, emotional and exciting. At the same time, there's a practical, mundane, maybe even flat-out boring aspect of love for another that I've come to appreciate strongly over the years too. The commitment that inspires you to stay together through the average times or even the flat-out awful times. If I can't imagine myself producing that sort of commitment, I'd have to kill any infatuation that sprouts within me.

    I've never heard of bachata dancing, so I looked up a few videos of it on Youtube: Whoa. Lovely and sexy. <3 Would definitely be down for trying that.

  3. #3

    I find being infatuated with people such an unpleasant experience. At first you're bound to only fixate on this person in a positive way because the inspire positive feelings and thoughts but in my experience it made me feel sort of silly or as if I was wasting time by focusing so much on them.

    It completely disrupts your life. You mention how you can't eat sometimes, sometimes I haven't been able sleep or focus or be present in reality because of people I'm infatuated with. And if for some reason a relationship can't happen or doesn't and I'm still hung up on the person, or if in general the person becomes a central part of your life that seeps into other things (like eating, sleeping, concentration), that's when I start to feel like a moron in dire need of a grip, and some self control / re-assessment of priorities.

    If I can't concentrate because of a person / if the person is too up in my thoughts, that's when I realize things have gone too far for me and I need to control myself. It makes me feel really pathetic.

    But despite not liking it, I'm very much prone to infatuation. Like you, I milk that shit dry but still, I've come not to like it.
    Last edited by Gossip Goat; 11-04-2017 at 07:10 PM.
    AppleJackzO, a peach, Monadnock and 3 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    @ButIHaveNoFear Ooh I felt so giddy reading all of your feelings, and just feel more than excited along with you to answer -- yes, yes, YES!!! Ooh my goodness, it's one of my most favorite emotions in the world, I do heavily miss feeling infatuation @ some point or another. I remember growing up, I just loved the idea of love. I was never one to actively pursue relationships, but always dreamt of falling for someone, and would be @ my absolute most happiest when I could find an object of affection.

    I absolutely enjoy the intense feelings, both positive and negative. I'd always fall so hard, like love @ first sight. I kind of reveled especially in relationships that felt "forbidden" or ones where I'd have no chance. I'm a bit of a dreamer, and loved it more so when I could fantasize about somehow being with these people against all odds; though only @ the end, to have my world fall into pieces out of rejection or just the simple fact that we could never end up together, whatever the circumstance. I would spend literally days locked away in my room, holding myself in bed and crying my heart out over someone. I always believe that everyone has something truly special and unique to them, and would mourn ultimately not being able to share a life with them, grow old with them;; It's bittersweet, but I heavily miss these feelings -- I'll take the tears any day, with the butterflies in my stomach and heart pounding against my rib cage @ just the simple thought or sight of them!


    If I may confess;; I'm currently going through a small dilemma that involves my old infatuation for a childhood friend, though I'm in a very long-term relationship with someone very special, whom loves me very much. I do my best to be completely open and honest with my beau about my feelings and interactions, as I do believe that it's best to be authentic. (I've had a history of being cheated on, and really wish to avoid doing that onto someone else.) I know it's wrong for me to harbor those emotions for someone else, but it's something I'm unable to help and miss dearly. What matters most are my actions however, and even when I think about it, I'm not sure that a relationship together would even faintly match the one I have right now ...

    Still! I wish I could experience this feeling more, I do miss it painfully. But @ the end of the day, what feels best is the comfort of knowing I'm loved and cared for, despite all my flaws and humilities. I've always yearned for someone to love and care for me as much as I do them, and I think it's quite possible that he's exceeded that! It's a guilty pleasure, how much I enjoy drama in life and emotion; but I hope I'm mature enough to be able to not end something so beautiful just for a moment's happiness followed by downfall.

    Just where would I be, without my love? The relationship I'm in is everything I've ever dreamt of and more. The more I think on it, perhaps it is a lovely compromise; though I no longer feel my stomach tie into knots, I know I'm loved by him more than anything else in the world. I could feel those "fireworks" with anyone -- and spent my entire youth just trying to find people to hold those emotions for! -- but something like what I have now, can't be shared nor found so easily. Our hearts and souls are one. I don't think I quite realized it until now, typing this all out. It's what I've always seen in the movies, what I've always wanted ...


    And our relationship started with infatuation too! So not to say that it won't work out with anyone that you may feel that way towards, but it will die out but be replaced with true commitment, patience, understanding and love. And I think in the end, it's very much better than feelings you can have @ any given time, because the qualities and emotions I listed are much more rare and take lots of time and nurturing for someone to feel towards you; someone you feel infatuation towards isn't going to clean the house after you had a long stressful day, nor be there to hold your hand and kiss your tears away as you weep over the tiniest of worries and thoughts. I'm starting to get teary and cry -- I really have it so lucky, I don't think I ever sat on this long enough like I have just now.

    Thank you, I think you making this thread really helped me to make a final decision on something that has been bothering me for the past couple of months. I really have it good -- now I just need to show him how much I love him too. ♡♡

    I hope someday soon, you'll experience this love as I do. It'll be so worth the absence of infatuation.
    mushr00m, AppleJackzO, LittleDreamer and 4 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Monadnock View Post
    Most definitely I like being infatuated with people. It's like being on a rollercoaster: wild, emotional and exciting. At the same time, there's a practical, mundane, maybe even flat-out boring aspect of love for another that I've come to appreciate strongly over the years too. The commitment that inspires you to stay together through the average times or even the flat-out awful times. If I can't imagine myself producing that sort of commitment, I'd have to kill any infatuation that sprouts within me.

    I've never heard of bachata dancing, so I looked up a few videos of it on Youtube: Whoa. Lovely and sexy. <3 Would definitely be down for trying that.
    I definitely respect and appreciate the "boring" aspect of love, and I'm sure it will find its home in me someday! The major problem with my last long-term relationship was that I was making myself give that kind of commitment where it shouldn't have been. The commitment was creating the awful times!

    It was a really fun style to dance! I just learned the basic steps and how to spin. Since the guy had been taking classes before, he spun me all over the place and dipped me, and it was really easy to do all that just by knowing the basic steps! Closed position is very hot...
    Monadnock thanked this post.

  6. #6

    I'm infatuated with this chocolate bearded man I met on the Internet (Twitch chat to be exact). He's mysterious and keeps dropping breadcrumbs about himself in the chat that I have to pay close attention to to learn more about him. I'm not sure if the infatuation is mutual. Sometimes I think so. Sometimes I think it's not. He may just be very flirtatious and wants someone to stroke his ego. Two mysterious people together can be a headache. I can't figure him out.

    It's crazy that I was thinking this earlier this week. I like the feeling of infatuation. That is until I remind myself of reality and then I beat myself up over it
    ButIHaveNoFear thanked this post.

  7. #7

    @softcult Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for your encouragement! It was enlightening to hear from you!

    I'm so glad you've found that special someone, and that you realize you've found him! :)
    a peach and Lord Pixel thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by ButIHaveNoFear View Post

    So.... Do you like being infatuated with people? Do we as INFPs have some similarities in the way we experience it?

    Another thought is that for me to be in a good relationship with someone, I don't think I should be truly infatuated with them. I act so out of line with my morality and good sense, and it ruins everything. Maybe when I'm 30, these reckless feelings will stop and I'll be able to think clearly! But I don't want the feelings to stop; I just want it to be right.
    I like the thought of having an object of my affections, but it also becomes a battle of sorts of me? I feel awfully discombobulated and thrown off course. It's funny, as a similar thing happened this week, and now I'm completely out of it being consumed by my infatuation. I can feel my stomach dropping even when I think about him, it feels very much like a rollercoaster! I always tell my friends that I feel ill thinking about my romantic interest.

    I don't think I like it, though. I don't feel calm and gathered, highly unrational and impulsive. I don't want to act purely off feelings when it comes to relationships, and so I feel like being infatuated by someone means that I have lost all capacity to think clearly, and it's lust over love. I much prefer the steadiness of a quiet attraction, and it slowly building, which is happening with another man I am interested in at the very same time.

    It's not that I don't receive the same feelings, but I know that sudden infatuation is not founded on solid conclusions and facts. So, I look for more peaceful initiations of romance.

    I'm averaging about two infatuations a year, and that's two too many for me. I like to be in control!

  9. #9

    I wished i could never be infatuated once again in life. I hate it. It's the worst.
    Necrox, AppleJackzO, ButIHaveNoFear and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP

    It's fun, but I've found it really needs to be balanced with a bit of due-process and maturity.

    In the past, when I've had crushes, and they've turned to nothing; they've become very painful for me. Now, I enjoy the crush, but I also move forward.
    AppleJackzO and ButIHaveNoFear thanked this post.


     
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