[INFP] INFP/ENTJ Relationship?

INFP/ENTJ Relationship?

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This is a discussion on INFP/ENTJ Relationship? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; What do you all INFPs think of the ENTJs in your lives? What are the good things about your relationships? ...

  1. #1

    INFP/ENTJ Relationship?

    What do you all INFPs think of the ENTJs in your lives? What are the good things about your relationships? The bad things? What do you think a romantic relationship between a male INFP and a female ENTJ would look like? (If you have seen one/experienced one/can guess, haha.)



  2. #2

    It's one of the best pairings for the two types, though there are small problems related to valuing different irrational functions and both being intuitives.

  3. #3

    I befriend this ENTJ girl, we're stil in highschool.
    And yet to have romantic relationship, currently on that "getting to know each other" phase.

    She's assertive and strong willed, more than me obviously . I find her frank and no-nonsense attitude as a genuine expressions of emotion, so i find that attractive

    We were in this scouting organization, i didn't notice her much at first. Probably because i thought that our world are different. She's quite a sociable person, not in popular community but has a lot of aquintance/friends. While i'm too insecure to initiate conversation with her.

    The first time we worked together come as a rough patch, i sh*t you not. She was busy w/ her boyfriend, and i passive-aggressively lashed at her.
    I got misunderstood by her boyfriend and we almost got in a fight, only to be dissolved by the scouting council.
    The thing is that i hadn't any balls to confront her, fearing that it's ego-centrical and clingy to rant and tell her my problem right away.

    But in the end after she broke up, we worked things up.
    She tries listening me and understanding my perceptive, and i try to conduct a direct and efficient approach rather than sending passive-aggressive signs.

    We've been texting and had some phone calls over the last two weeks.
    She told told me her problem, which i assumed was a Ni-Fi loop.
    Much more of doubts about her self-reliant and dominating traits which she finds making her friends intimidated, i guess it's a 3w4 thing. CMIIW
    Meanwhile i asked her opinion on how i solve my problem straight-away as a rational and efficient person.
    After all, she finds my win-win approach too much a troublesome and inefficient. I agree with that part, because some situations don't resolve with win-win solution.

    I read in other thread that it's much more difficult to build connection with a rational person rather than an emotional one, considering that feeling comes and goes strongly. But not as steady as logical understanding

    I've been balancing my T to suppress the "pedestal crush" that INFPs have.
    It's the communication that what's much worth to die for, honestly.
    The way i console he inferior Fi, and her advice on Te-approach, i find that we complete each other end

    Well, i'm still looking forward to it, sorry for the long ass post
    entheos, Lord Pixel and KellBell thanked this post.

  4. #4

    It's either great or horrible. No inbetweens.
    wordwizard, Kenkao and KellBell thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Two words - power balance. Power imbalance is one of the most debilitating things when it comes to relationship. Mind you, Fi-doms are just as capable of having an upper hand in relationship as Te-doms are stereotyped to, but neither way is a good thing. That was one of my struggles with ISFP I know, her Fi was so relentless I felt like a blind kitten, trying to communicate my feelings RATIONALLY, whereas she was a lot more straightforward about them, and very unforgiving of my searching for what I saw as objective resolution in moral dillemas, which she saw as hipocrisy. It put us on the verge of breakup a couple of times, but we got over it.
    KellBell thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Witch of Oreo View Post
    Two words - power balance. Power imbalance is one of the most debilitating things when it comes to relationship. Mind you, Fi-doms are just as capable of having an upper hand in relationship as Te-doms are stereotyped to, but neither way is a good thing. That was one of my struggles with ISFP I know, her Fi was so relentless I felt like a blind kitten, trying to communicate my feelings RATIONALLY, whereas she was a lot more straightforward about them, and very unforgiving of my searching for what I saw as objective resolution in moral dillemas, which she saw as hipocrisy. It put us on the verge of breakup a couple of times, but we got over it.
    I believe that was a combo of Se+Fi+Ni more than just Fi by itself. Take a lookie here for more https://personalitycafe.com/infp-foru...ationship.html
    Witch of Oreo and KellBell thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Panda View Post
    I believe that was a combo of Se+Fi+Ni more than just Fi by itself. Take a lookie here for more https://personalitycafe.com/infp-foru...ationship.html
    That's an interesting perspective, I do admit I left out role of percieving combinations out. But it was just an example I could relate to, not to leave it as bare words. Keeping said balance is certainly vital to any relationship (lest it's some fulltime BDSM thing lol).
    Red Panda and KellBell thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Somebody said it best on this forum. A female ENTJ said she liked this INFP male because she felt this intense draw towards him with a hint of incompatibility. And I think that is put accurately according to MBTI theory.

    The Fi/Te axis is shared and they pull towards each other because the two seem so different because one person is the repressed version of you, but the hint of incompatibility lies in the middle functions the Ni/Se and Ne/Si. The outer functions shared, middle functions differ, I'm sure most of the challenges in the relationship lie in those middle functions.

    I also knew a female ENTJ and I could see the phenomenon, her Te impressing the crap out of me, because it's my weakness, and my Fi calming her down and sometimes impressed her. But those middle functions. Like I would crack some witty jokes, probably through Ne and some Si, and she would not get them lol like she would look at me like "What are you trying to say?" and her humor I would not get as well, like when we tried to connect it's like we were always missing the mark somehow. Drawn to each other but in some way there is that pricking feeling of incompatibility. I get along better with ESTJs.

    But yea I'd say what the ENTJ girl on this forum said is a good depiction of what it's like.
    entheos, twirler and KellBell thanked this post.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    her Te impressing the crap out of me, because it's my weakness, and my Fi calming her down and sometimes impressed her. But those middle functions. Like I would crack some witty jokes, probably through Ne and some Si, and she would not get them lol like she would look at me like "What are you trying to say?" and her humor I would not get as well, like when we tried to connect it's like we were always missing the mark somehow.
    This has been my experience as well. Like we speak another language lol I would crack jokes, and do word play, and they would interpret things literally. I had to communicate in a literal way at all times :/ when I didn't... big misunderstandings... that led to unneccessary ugly situations. I would often be left wondering "How did we get to this point? It all started with a play of words like the moon is purple tonight... ?" they were confusing situations. And it's not like they didn't/don't speak in analogies sometimes, cause they can, but aparently mine are too rococó and hyperbolic ooops.

    I don't have any deep experiences with ENTJs tho, only superficial. Can someone who has more experience talk about how the compatibility of senses of humor goes? Was it just me that constantly made the ENTJs upset with my play of words, metaphors, analogies, etc? It was very hit or miss for me, mostly miss.
    Since I had to pay close attention to how I worded things, and never use metaphors when self-expressing, I felt not self-expressed, something very vital of me had to be repressed in order to make communication smooth, and an Fi-dom and repression is just not a thing.

    The positive aspects were very positive. I felt/feel so inspired by them. I swear that whenever I feel lost, I think WWENTJsD? lol It helps.
    Funny that I just saw this thread because 2 hours ago I was listening to an ENTJ and an INTJ have a conversation about life, and what they were saying impacted me so much I had to lie down and hold my heart in silence, I was so touched. Particularly by the ENTJ who was talking about feeling like an outcast his whole life and all the rebellious things he does to be his own person. I was like yep yep in my head, thank you for putting perfect words to my entire life experience. I can honestly sit in silence and listen to the ENTJs that I know for hours and hours, in absolute fascination. They like to talk a whole lot, and I like to listen a whole lot and extract life lessons from their stories and match those lessons to my own life and see how I can utilise that for my own benefit, so... that's good xD
    Last edited by entheos; 11-07-2017 at 09:10 AM. Reason: added one sentence
    SOM, Demoiselle Dys, Lord Pixel and 2 others thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by entheos View Post
    This has been my experience as well. Like we speak another language lol I would crack jokes, and do word play, and they would interpret things literally. I had to communicate in a literal way at all times :/ when I didn't... big misunderstandings... that led to unneccessary ugly situations. I would often be left wondering "How did we get to this point? It all started with a play of words like the moon is purple tonight... ?" they were confusing situations.

    I don't have any deep experiences with ENTJs tho, only superficial. Can someone who has more experience talk about how the compatibility of senses of humor goes? Was it just me that constantly made the ENTJs upset with my play of words, metaphors, analogies, etc? It was very hit or miss for me, mostly miss.
    Since I had to pay close attention to how I worded things, and never use metaphors when self-expressing, I felt not self-expressed, something very vital of me had to be repressed in order to make communication smooth, and an Fi-dom and repression is just not a thing.

    The positive aspects were very positive. I felt/feel so inspired by them. I swear that whenever I feel lost, I think WWENTJsD? lol It helps.
    Funny that I just saw this thread because 2 hours ago I was listening to an ENTJ and an INTJ have a conversation about life, and what they were saying impacted me so much I had to lie down and hold my heart in silence, I was so touched. Particularly by the ENTJ who was talking about feeling like an outcast his whole life and all the rebellious things he does to be his own person. I was like yep yep in my head, thank you for putting perfect words to my entire life experience. I can honestly sit in silence and listen to the ENTJs that I know for hours and hours, in absolute fascination. They like to talk a whole lot, and I like to listen a whole lot and extract life lessons from their stories and match those lessons to my own life and see how I can utilise that for my own benefit, so... that's good xD
    If you want some good reference just call on @Sangoire . She's the ENTJ whisperer lol.

    Yea, I think that hint of incompatibility gives the mystery that makes them seem cool, like some kind of code you need to crack, but it really just ends up in misunderstanding lol. All those wise crack jokes that they take literally, if said to a ESTJ, you will get some pretty impressed laughter, works everytime. And since Ne is the ESTJ relief function they start to feel like they can relax around you. But yea it's very hit or miss with the ENTJ, and sometimes they will crack Se type jokes, like slap stick humor kind of joke, something very frank or crass, and for me I'll be like "How is that funny though?" looool.

    Fi humor works pretty good though, like just admitting your real feelings in an awkward but endearing way, might get some laugh from an ENTJ, mostly because you just seem like cute helpless child in that moment lol. Oh god, how does one save face after that lol. I guess one must resort to self deprecation lol.

    I did some weird action one time and this ENTJ woman burst out laughing, I didn't get it that much though, perhaps Se lol.

    ENTJs come off more intimidating than ESTJs to me because of that small lack of understanding, that strong confident Ni that knows they are gonna win at whatever they do and that Se that knows it can force it's way to win, scary stuff lol.
    I used to hate on ENTJs, because I thought they sort of imposed their control onto people, but after working with 3 ENTJs I just realized these folks are indeed just natural leaders, like that is just what they are, they don't need to impose their control on people, if they are in a situation they've chose to be in they are usually the most educated and capable person in the room and people just NATURALLY follow them because they know exactly what to do, these people are guiders. My disdain has been converted into respect for the type.

    They have a female ENTJ male INFP relationship post on another site if you type it in a google, it's a decent read.

    Also if the ENTJ opens up to you, be prepared to just sit there in silence and listen for a while loool, Te dom is literally someone just sharing their every thought with you lol, but when they do open up it can be a conversation laced with accomplishments they done that they want to share and many aspirations they have, it is very nice for an INFP who likes to sit back listen and just observe someone speak passionately. I think an ENTJ appreciates a listener.
    SOM, entheos and KellBell thanked this post.


     
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