[INFP] Dating: INFPS, "like attracts like" or "opposites attract"? Short term vs Long term

Dating: INFPS, "like attracts like" or "opposites attract"? Short term vs Long term

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This is a discussion on Dating: INFPS, "like attracts like" or "opposites attract"? Short term vs Long term within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I can't decide as a guy if I want to date a girl just like me, (I'm INFP with well ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Dating: INFPS, "like attracts like" or "opposites attract"? Short term vs Long term

    I can't decide as a guy if I want to date a girl just like me, (I'm INFP with well develop T and J) or someone totally opposite...ESXX I suppose. Guys and girls, have you had more success with opposite or people just like yourself? Is this short term attraction and one night stands or just a few weeks/months, or this is like long term relationship that has lasted years.

    I so need your help. THank you.

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    Think about individuals with whom you may relate to, and they with you, and then consider their personality type to relate to each other better-not necesarily as a type-matching tool.

    In a theoretical world, I "prefer" NFs, and in the real world, I almost always am attracted to them. But what's more important is the individual that is the type, and not a typed individual. There may be wonderful matches of any type for all of us, although I admit that certain relationships between types will require a different approach, and possibly, "more work" (especially if both have totally opposite behavioral preferences-love and commitment achieve wonderful things, though.) Despite my NF preference, I will never be with a person just because of her type, if she's not a goof fit, and any healthy type may also work if we end up being really good for each other.

    In short, MBTI it's good to help us relate better with ourselves and others, but it's not meant to be a matchmaker, even though one can see it used as such online and in books, etc. In theory, it is usually adviced that couples are somewhat different but not too different, if that is any help. I believe that no two people are the same anyway (even if they would share a type), so I don't see a problem with same types relationships myself, as long as it works and it's healthy.

  3. #3

    I don't think you should decide to date anyone.. Just follow your attractions, don't seek someone of a certain type. MBTI and JCF is a tool for understanding how you process the world around you cognitively; attempting to squeeze into this system relationship compatibilities is far from accurate and defeats the whole purpose.

    Sure, understanding your SO's personality type would be helpful in solving miscommunications and problems in the relationship, but not as a filter to know who to date. I've seen successful INFP-ISTJ relationships, just like I've seen INFP-INFP relationships work out beautifully.
    Basil, conscius, PrettyPeach and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I tend to believe opposites attract, but they don't last. I must have an introvert as my partner. An extrovert demands too much of my energy. The MBTI has been very helpful for me on understanding the *different drummers* out there and what they desire. Some pound too hard on that drum for my liking.
    PrettyPeach, Bago, Macona and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    I can fall in love with any type, but my most meaningful relationships have been with other introverts.

    Echoing Sily's words, extroverts demand too much of my energy. I can become very grouchy if I'm not getting enough 'me time'.
    PrettyPeach and conscius thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    definitely people like me, but a bit more on the extravert and feeling scale
    PrettyPeach and conscius thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Opposites attract is definitely right for short term fun, you got that whole thrill of the chase and all the games (which personally i hate), but i honestly think it can't last for more than a few months, not for INFPs at least. I'm pretty sure an ENTP can pull it off though.

    On the long run it's things in common that bring people together, it's like you're automatically sharing your comfort zone with the other person without having to change anything about it. It's quite refreshing for me to find someone who enjoys doing the same "weird" things i like, and i don't have to put any effort in trying to change things about me or please the other person.

    I have never been with an INFP, but i have two ENFP friends and it's fun cause they shake things off easy, but they bond better in between them than with me. I'm pretty sure i won't be able to handle a long term relationship with an INFP, i think i'd explode if i'd have x2 the emotional overload. This semester i will be working with an (and i'm guessing here) INFP girl and i'm already worried it will get full of tension and awkwardness as she is less communicative than i am.

    I do prefer INTPs, looking back now i typed as that most of my exs, and my current relationship is with an INTP and we have been super close and best friends for almost 5 years before dating.
    My subconscious tends to avoid Es for relationships because they simply can't understand my need for space.. even my ENFP friends say it's weird.. and all the "relationships" i had with Es didn't last more than 1-3 months.

    Last and most importantly i don't plan on who i date, it happens, and i certainly don't make my decisions based on MBTI or Blood Typology or Zodiac Sign and i will certainly not turn down a relationship with an E even if i know it's not going to work out, everyone deserves a chance!
    conscius thanked this post.

  8. #8

    A wise ol' hare once told me:

    "Never give up!
    Trust your instincts"

    Its advice I try to follow to the grave.
    (I'm still trying to find the significance of the Barrel Roll technique though. I assume its a kind of cleansing procedure to rid of the pains of the world, yet everytime I try it, it honestly just makes me dizzy! )
    conscius thanked this post.


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